Julia and I matched on an app and one of the first things I noticed were that her pictures had been very flattering. But we'd gotten along well and by the end of first date, I was hooked. We've been together for almost a year now and I never thought I could love somebody this much. For me, the more I like someone the more beautiful they become and because of her strength, her passion, her kindness and so much more I do genuinely believe that she's beautiful. Sometimes I'll just look at pictures of her and smile. It's early on but I want to give her the happiest days of her life.
I'm worried I'll ruin it by being dumb. I'm a conventionally attractive guy, and Julia's the first person I've been with that doesn't really fit the mold of a "typically attractive" person. I've introduced her to some of my friends and I've worried that they'll judge me (which is stupid, they're good people that look beyond appearances). When I see picutres of us together I sometimes think "I'm the hot one and that's okay" or "I've been with people who looked better". When we're together I call her things like beautiful and sexy and wonderful and unstoppable (all of which are true), but I don't say things like "gorgeous" because it feels like lying. I've seen pictures of celebrity couples where one is physically stunning and the other is physically "okay" and I've thought "See? We can just be one of those couples". I don't think physical appearance is important beyond the early stages of dating, and I am very attracted to her, physically and emotionally because of who she is and the way she makes me feel. But I know she'd be devastated if I told her about these thoughts. Can I get over this or should we break up?
TL;DR - I love my girlfriend but she isn't conventionally attractive. How do I get over my social conditioning?
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* This article was originally published here
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