Background: I (26F) met 2 wonderful men through a religious dating app (where most people on it are looking for serious relationships). Both of these men live in different countries (Europe and the Middle East), which I don't view as an issue, since I speak both languages and my professional degree from the US is recognized in both places. Additionally, both men are also open to living in the US and have some family here.
Man #1 - Europe (30M): I began talking to this lovely man first. He stood out for his thoughtfulness and consideration for my feelings. Our values, goals, and religious beliefs align, he is kind and gentle when he speaks, and there is mutual respect. For 2 weeks, he would call me everyday and we'd occasionally text. Our communication was consistent and equally initiated/reciprocated. Then, he went a day or 2 without messaging me, so I gave him space, since he works loong hours and possibly set the bar too high at first. Then without explanation, he reached out again and we now call every few days. Since I am visiting family in the Middle East soon, we discussed I take a cheap flight over to him and spend a couple days together, which we are both excited about.
My friends told me his behavior of gradually communicating less frequently could mean he's playing the field and keeping me as an option. I am not comfortable asking him about, bc we're not dating so he can really do whatever he wants. They told me I should be doing the same because this is just how modern dating works. (Plus I don't really want to be waiting on this person's every word, in case I really am just an option.)
Man #2 - Middle East (28M): So, I replied to a message from this other wonderful man. We too have shared values and religious beliefs, he is kind too, and makes me laugh a lot. I haven't spoken to him long enough (only a few days), but he's been responsive and is really excited for me to visit.
The issue: Now I have first dates/meetings lined up with both of these men in 2 different countries. This does not feel right, but it's the only way for me to get truer impressions of them.
My questions: 1. Should I inform each of these men that I will be going on other dates? (I can't stand lying, and I'm sure it will come up in my conversation--like why I'm going to Europe and with who) 2. If so, how do I break the news to them?
TL;DR! - Met 2 great guys on an app and want to meet them, but feel disloyal having dates w 2 different people planned at once. I would not have this challenge if they both lived in town, but I am flying out so this is my one opportunity to meet both of them.
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