My (28F) wife (28f) of 3 years, together for almost 8, are divorcing over incompatibilities, but I don’t know if it’s the right choice anymore

My wife and I have been going back and forth on getting a divorce for a while. We have too many incompatibilities, and we’ve agreed that this is the case. There are things I want that I know I’ll never get in our marriage (a healthy sex life; going out and not staying in; etc) and my wife says she realizes this to be the case. We’ve been looking for apartments for her to move into (I’d be helping her move). However, I feel so devastated by this. So does she. These last few days we have been very touchy and intimate again for the first time in weeks. Is this a sign we shouldn’t divorce and give it another shot… even if I know I shouldn’t expect things to really change much? What deep desires are worth giving up for a marriage with someone you’re, say, 80% compatible with? I love her. She’s my closest friend in this world. I just don’t know what to do.

tl;dr: wife and I are getting a divorce. I’m no longer sure if it’s the right thing to do but I can’t tell.

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Stuck in a hard place in my relationship

I, 19-F, have been dating my boyfriend, also 19- M,for about 4 & a half years now. At the beginning of our relationship, we fought an insane amount. We used to be completely opposite with our morals (he was extremely homophobic, transphobic, racist, pro life, supported trump) so pretty much the complete opposite to me. This cause us to fight pretty much everyday, all day. We started dating when we were 15 so he was my first proper relationship. I struggled because I felt like breaking up wasn’t an option, I was so attached and still am. I’m an extremely anxious person, and the years that we’ve been together have made it even harder with how strong my attachment to him has become. He has extremely abusive and religious parents, and though it isn’t an excuse, this is where he got all of his questionable morals and opinions. Throughout our relationship, he’s pretty much done a 180 and completely worked on himself, he’s a totally different person now than he was then.He’s totally accepting of the LGBTQ community, isn’t racist and no longer supports trump, understands abortions and why women may need them. We also used to (and still somewhat currently) used to fight pretty badly because our communication is horrible. I have an anxious attachment, while he has an avoidant attachment style. (He’d push me away, ignore me, drive home, or even break up with me) in the earlier stages of our relationship when ide try to talk to him about a fight we’d had. But now, after working hard on himself, He’s a lot more patient, understanding /doesnt leave when things get heated anymore. Our relationship is the best it’s ever been. Yet I’m still terrified at the thought of us being together forever, getting married and having kids. I have this big part of me that fills me with guilt. Where I have the longing to experience being single and as cliche as it sounds, finding myself on my own. I feel like I put a lot of my mental wellbeing on him and depend on him emotionally a lot. I feel like I don’t know how to live without him. The problem is, he’s just as attached to me as I am to him. He would completely crumble if we broke up, it would destroy him. And honestly, it would destroy me too, we’ve become so intertwined in eachothers lives that it would feel like losing a limb if we broke up. But, it also terrifies me thinking about pushing away this feeling I have towards being single and exploring other people and relationships that I’ve never got to experience before. So reddit, in desperate for advice, How do I figure out how to come to terms with what I really want? Please help 😩

TL:DR

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Megan Fox And MGK's 'Intensity' Not Healthy After 4 Years of Relationship; Here's What Source Said - PINKVILLA

Megan Fox And MGK's 'Intensity' Not Healthy After 4 Years of Relationship; Here's What Source Said  PINKVILLA

* This article was originally published here

How can I smooth things out with my brothers or shall I just leave them to it?

I’m 48 and my brother’s are in their early 50’s. Around 11 years ago, I needed to buy a house, I was struggling to find rental accommodation at the right price for me and my family.

Meanwhile, my poor mum was having a terrible time trying to keep up with her house and the bills, she also had loads of debts, left by my dad. We didn’t know how much it was until after he passed away, 5 years prior. My mum was unable to give up full time work cos of these debts and she was getting on herself (age 70), the house was in disrepair, I hated seeing her like this and feeling hopeless at what to do next, I went to my older brothers to ask for help, I suggested buying mum’s house, they said as I was looking why didn’t I buy it and get her into council accommodation, she could then use the equity to pay off her debts, have a little left over and give up work. It wasn’t a bad idea but there was a lot of work to do but I chose to do it so I could help mum out also. I bought the house and did a mini refurbishment, had to get extra funds to fix the property. I helped mum sort out her council accommodation and move her in. It was a tough time as I was looking after my own family too.

In 2021, I found out my partner was cheating on me, we ended up separating and selling the house. Had some equity which helped pay off my debts and some legal costs etc. Fast forward to 2023, my brothers came to me and ask me for money as they’ve racked up some debt. I really wish I could’ve helped them but I didn’t have anything left, they haven’t spoken to me since, they said that they were expecting money from mum and it was down to me to pay it. They said that they didn’t worry about getting into debt as they knew it would be paid off. My mum isn’t happy with them but why I am made to feel so bad, how do I correct things? They won’t talk to me now. What are your suggestions to repair our relationship?

TL;DR; : Brothers wanted money from me as I got money when I sold my house but paid off my own debts & legal costs. I have a family to support. Shall I leave them to come round? I’ve apologised for not having any to give them but since I’ve said I don’t have it they’re not talking to me.

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Weekend reads: From intriguing tracks of relationships to social relevance of sports | Lifestyle News | English Manorama - Onmanorama

Weekend reads: From intriguing tracks of relationships to social relevance of sports | Lifestyle News | English Manorama  Onmanorama

* This article was originally published here

In-Laws vs My Parents

So, the issue is practically the title. As far as relationship timeline, I mean a lifetime with my parents and known my in laws and partner for 4 years. My (23F) parents (52M, 51F) have previously felt threatened by my in laws (70M, 65F), and I can think of a couple reasons: 1. because my in laws have more money (they had one kid, and work well into 60s, while my parents had 4 kids and have struggled a lot) 2. because my in laws have encouraged us to move out of my hometown where my parents live (something I have always wanted to do) 3. because of their own experience between my two sets of grandparents constantly turning sleepovers and family functions into competitions for which side is the most loved. My parents and in laws have never met in person due to COVID at the beginning of our relationship, living in separate states, and honestly because my partner and I don't really feel the need to have them meet just yet. (Plus timing has never worked out for visits and the possible personality conflicts.) I am happy to elaborate more if needed on pretty much anything. Current issue: My in laws are planning a trip to Europe with my partner and myself. It's about week, couple of countries, and we're excited. it is about two months out and I haven't told my parents yet because I'm afraid how they will react. They never have had (nor do they now) the money to do trips like this even though they have talked about doing one down the road. Specifically, my dad, I am worried would feel bad about not being able to financially provide this opportunity himself, but my mom could see this as my in-laws trying to bribe us to "side" with them. My dad has always felt bad for not providing more when we were kids and it was never his fault (he is the most hardworking person I know) and my mom's parents were the ones who tried to compete with my dads parents for grandkid affection (if I was with my dads parents one day, had to be at their house for two or it wasn't fair-that kind of thing and they forced my mom to cooperate.) I can totally elaborate more on details, but for now how would you approach this conversation?

Should I treat it more casually and just text or call, or go sit them down in person and tell them? Not sure which would cause less of a fuss and I just want no drama.

TL/DR: complicated relationships between parents and in-laws, not sure how to handle new issue.

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Went on the best first dates of my life, and then she ended it and now I don't know what to do

Never posted something like this before, but really struggling with processing this. I had given up on finding someone I could be happy being myself with, until I connected with someone on a dating app. Right off the bat, the banter was good. Within a few days of connecting, we met up for dinner, and talked for hours, until the restaurant closed and we moved to the bar next door and continued talking and hanging out until the bar closed too and we got kicked out.

I think from that night, I was instantly in love. It has been years since I felt this happy with someone, from just talking. I could be myself, didn't have to put up an image, and I felt she was being herself too, just sharing her story as I shared mine. A few days after this date, I asked her to go on a day trip with me. She had mentioned that her birthday had recently passed and she hadn't celebrated it at all. So I planned a trip to a farm a few hours away, and found some small town bakeries, got a 3 and 0 sparkle and a birthday candle. Picked her up from her place, and we went on the trip. Again, the conversations were amazing, the farm was so much fun, we walked around the small town, holding hands and laughed and talked for hours. Drove around by the water, made fun of each others playlists, found trails to check out. Finally stopped at a store, and I got her fav icecream, and put a candle in it to celebrate her belated birthday. She was surprised, and had the most adorable smile on her face. We shared the ice cream, and then continued driving. I wanted to find a clear spot to see stars, but the weather didn't cooperate...so eventually i just stopped on the side of the road, and asked her to step out with me for a minute. She was def confused, but I took out the sparkles and again wished her a happy belated birthday.

On the 4 hour drive back that night, we held hands the entire way. It felt genuine, she'd put her other hand on top of mine, change positions, but we kept holding hands the entire way back. I dropped her back at her place, tried to go for a kiss, but she faced away, so I kissed her cheek and said goodnight.

This was a sunday, next morning I didn't hear anything from her, I messaged her but didn't hear back until the night that she had a busy work day and is going to bed now. Next two days, the conversations were like this, dry and absent. Then the dreaded message came "I had a great time, but for personal reasons I can't continue this, hope you find the girl you're looking for, take care"

I've had so many dates that led nowhere, long term relationships that ended...and maybe I have forgotten how much those breakups hurt, but this seems extra hurtful. I didn't know how to respond, so did the usual "I'm sorry you feel this way, best of luck to you as well and I hope you find what you're looking for", and deleted her number and unfollowed her from social media. But then quickly went and saved her number again. It's been 3 weeks now, and I can't stop thinking about her. I sent her another message a week later, saying that I felt a connection after such a long time, and wished that there was something I could do to have her open up to me and see if we could resolve the personal reason she had to not continue. But no response, she kept following me on social, didn't block my number, but no response.

I know time will heal, but just wanted to get this off my chest. I've never fallen for someone this quick, and then be given such a vague reason for things ending. I think if she had told me I was not funny enough, or too ugly or something of that sorts, it'd been easier to process...but not knowing what made her end is driving me crazy. I've lost my appetite, and just feel hopeless that i'll feel this way about someone again or if I even should.

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TLDR: Had given up finding someone I could be myself with, found someone, and went on a rollercoaster and crashed

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