So, the issue is practically the title. As far as relationship timeline, I mean a lifetime with my parents and known my in laws and partner for 4 years. My (23F) parents (52M, 51F) have previously felt threatened by my in laws (70M, 65F), and I can think of a couple reasons: 1. because my in laws have more money (they had one kid, and work well into 60s, while my parents had 4 kids and have struggled a lot) 2. because my in laws have encouraged us to move out of my hometown where my parents live (something I have always wanted to do) 3. because of their own experience between my two sets of grandparents constantly turning sleepovers and family functions into competitions for which side is the most loved. My parents and in laws have never met in person due to COVID at the beginning of our relationship, living in separate states, and honestly because my partner and I don't really feel the need to have them meet just yet. (Plus timing has never worked out for visits and the possible personality conflicts.) I am happy to elaborate more if needed on pretty much anything. Current issue: My in laws are planning a trip to Europe with my partner and myself. It's about week, couple of countries, and we're excited. it is about two months out and I haven't told my parents yet because I'm afraid how they will react. They never have had (nor do they now) the money to do trips like this even though they have talked about doing one down the road. Specifically, my dad, I am worried would feel bad about not being able to financially provide this opportunity himself, but my mom could see this as my in-laws trying to bribe us to "side" with them. My dad has always felt bad for not providing more when we were kids and it was never his fault (he is the most hardworking person I know) and my mom's parents were the ones who tried to compete with my dads parents for grandkid affection (if I was with my dads parents one day, had to be at their house for two or it wasn't fair-that kind of thing and they forced my mom to cooperate.) I can totally elaborate more on details, but for now how would you approach this conversation?
Should I treat it more casually and just text or call, or go sit them down in person and tell them? Not sure which would cause less of a fuss and I just want no drama.
TL/DR: complicated relationships between parents and in-laws, not sure how to handle new issue.
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