Hello everyone, I'm a 22-year-old female who recently had a major disagreement with my 23-year-old boyfriend. It all stemmed from a Snapchat message from three years ago, and I could really use some advice.
Here's the backstory: We've been officially together for three years, but we were talking for a year before that. One night at a party, a question was asked during a drinking game that caused a huge fight between us. Despite my attempts to downplay it, my boyfriend had a hard time trusting me afterward. Another incident occurred when I reached out to a lecturer for help with a software issue. Even though I made it clear I was in a committed relationship, my boyfriend accused me of flirting.
To regain his trust, I went to extreme lengths, like blocking men on social media when they want to request to follow me ,to constantly reassuring him. But despite my efforts, trust remains an issue.
In the most recent argument, about three weeks ago, my boyfriend stumbled upon an old Snapchat message from three years ago probably just before our relationship or the beginning, might even be from the short period me and my boyfriend had a very small minor break up . Despite my explanation that I didn't even recall having the person on Snapchat, let alone a message, he struggled to believe me. This followed a situation a week prior where a this same man,who is somewhat of a local celebrity, liked some of my old Instagram pictures, prompting me to express discomfort to my boyfriend. Despite my efforts to be transparent, the trust issues persist, leaving us both at an impasse. He called all 3 of these fight infidelity based on my part.
I feel stuck. My emotions are being disregarded when i try speak to him , all he cares about is how i hurt him, and I'm tired of constantly trying to prove myself ,when i know i didn't do anything wrong. My boyfriend says he knows intellectually that I haven't been unfaithful, but emotionally, he struggles to believe it. He's asked for space, but I'm not sure if I should continue trying to fix things alone (per his request, that because i broke it i should fix it ) or consider taking a break. Because I'm angry and hurting too
Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
TL;DR
Hey everyone,
I'm a 22-year-old female seeking advice about trust issues with my 23-year-old boyfriend. It all started with an old Snapchat message and has escalated from there. Despite my efforts to reassure him and be transparent, trust remains a problem.
I feel stuck and unheard when trying to communicate my feelings. My boyfriend struggles to believe I've been faithful, even though he acknowledges it intellectually. He's asked for space, leaving me unsure whether to keep trying to fix things alone or consider taking a break.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.
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