Need tips on what to do for a guys birthday, newly dating!

I've (31F) been dating a guy (36M, turning 37) for about a month. We've been on about 7 dates in this time, some more active dates, and then other dates where we've just hung out. We have spent the night together. Things are going super well, but we're not yet 'official', though we are exclusive.

We have decided to go on a week long staycation at the end of the month to celebrate his birthday. He was originally planning on taking a trip alone for it, but has asked me if I would like to do something with him.

I don't know whether or not we'll be together properly by then or not, just happy seeing where it goes. However, I do want to make his birthday as special as I can.

The problem is, I'm on a budget. The money I do have is mostly being spent on the holiday/spending money.

I have about £60-70. My current idea is to decorate some of the caravan with banners/balloons while he's sleeping or showering. I was then going to make a cake for him, and just have the cake and some presents for him on the table. Then just let him choose what we do that day, and either cook for him or buy him dinner in the evening.

I think I'm just concerned because he's really lived a full/adventurous life this far and I know it probably won't compare to some of the other birthdays he's had in the past. He says he doesn't mind what we do, as long as he gets to eat cake on his birthday, but I feel like he deserves the best and obviously, it still being early days means I want to make a good impression, as I'm really liking him.

Part of me is also concerned, perhaps stupidly, that I would be doing too much for someone that I'm not yet in a relationship with and perhaps I should be more low key? I've been single for a year and a half and previous to that I was in 4 year relationship, so I feel like I'm kind of out of the loop in regards to the 'dating stage'.

Are there any suggestions you could give me? What would you like to be done for you on your birthday? Is there something you've done for someone else that they've really appreciated? Thanks so much.

tl;dr I've been dating a guy for a month and we're going away for a week for his birthday. How do I make his day special on a budget?

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My (20F) college friends don't contribute to group projects and I'm left doing everything. How to confront them?

I have a group of friends in college with whom I usually hang out and sit close to them in class. It's because of this reason that we usually do all of the group projects together. Lately though, I've started resenting them, as it seems every teacher decided to assign us a group project at the same time, and I'm carrying the group in all of the them.

They show no initiative in doing the work, and I have to be the one who starts the project and asking them to please contribute something. I've sent the documents many times in our group chat, asking "hey, who can do X?" and all of them simply ignore me. I understand if they might not want to start as soon as I ask them to, but is it too much to ask to just respond something like "sure, I'll do X part"?

The thing is, I'm not very conflictive and I don't know how to call them out. It's always been like this and I simply put up with it, but now that we have 5 projects at the same time, I don't think I can do this anymore.

I've been choosing to stay with them because they are my closer friends. And, not to sound like I'm bragging, but I am one of the students who gets good grades in my classes, and I'm starting to think I should be making my projects with other friends who take college more seriously, but I fear my current group might take it wrong.

I need to know how to confront them without ruining the friendship, or otherwise how to change my group for projects in the future without it being awkward.

TL;DR Group of college friends don't contribute to any group project we do together, and I don't know how to confront them.

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GF dated well known musicians before me. Worried I won't be enough for her!

TL;DR: I feel inadequate about my GF dating well known musicians in the past. Will I be enough? Any advice?

Hey, so I've (F, 40) met an amazing woman (36) who's smart, creative, funny and kind. She tells me how amazing I am all the time ...There's just one problem....

She's been pretty open about her past and working in the music industry she has dated a few musicians, some quite well known.

I can't get it out of my head. I've started to feel inadequate and wonder what she sees in me after dating some really cool people. I made the mistake of watching some videos of them on YouTube and now I feel even worse. I can't compare. I worry that once the initial excitement has worn off I won't be enough for her.

I know this is all me and nothing she's done wrong. it doesn't help that I used to be a musician myself but I was never successful amd haven't played for years so there's probably a bit of jealousy there. I'm aware I'm insane

Does anyone have any advice on how I can snap out of this? Should I tell her how I feel? Thanks 🙏🏻

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Does my boyfriend want me sexually?

Tl;dr: He says he's attracted to me but never initiates sex. I'm confused.

Me: 26f Him: 33m Generally I would say yes. He always calls me beautiful. He always tries to watch when I'm changing clothes. When we have sex he always comes. Sometimes he says he enjoyed it after sex. But I just can't get my head around why he never initiates. We've been together for almost four month and he's initiated like maybe a total of five times?

So I was thinking he just has a lower libido than me. He once told me he doesn't want to have sex every day. But he also told me that before we were together he masturbated at least once a day. So now I'm confused. Is the sex just bad? :( But he also told me, he had the same problem with his last girlfriend, that she wanted sex more often than him. I don't get it.

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Still lover other [30M] and [30F] after 7 years. Mental health issues so we parted ways. Any idea how to fix it?

break up reason My view - I was suffering from high levels of stress from a job. It impacted the relationship. I stopped wanted to go out, felt scared, didn’t want to leave the house or have sex. I lost so much weight that no clothes I had would fit. I have quit the toxic job and I am In counselling.

Her view - she thought I lost interest in her. She felt hurt by this. She was trying to help me but my mental health wasn’t great and I didn’t listen to her.

post break up She came a lot to our old flat. To take her items and also help me pack up and move to my new flat. We spoke a lot about the relationship

• she said three times after we broken up to early. Was there another way to make you realise the issues
• she wants me in her life. The last day before moving she cried as she thought it will be the last time she saw me each time she came she stayed a while. Hugging me not wanting to leave. The last day she said “I know I have to go but my body wants to stay. I said I am getting help, but she said it will be too much in one go. To fix mental health and work on relationships
• she asked what changes will you do if we get back
• she said this is the best relationship she ever had.
• while packing she said I wish we didn’t have to do this many times

why she might not come back - she said she doesn’t want to give me false idea that we can get back together. Right now she can’t say as she is hurt and her defences are up. I’m reply I said I won’t chase you and leave it. She said “are you giving up so soon?” - she said she doesn’t want to jump back in while the route issues are there -she said she wants space to heal but I can call her if I ever need anything

Is there a chance I could try again with her. We are in limited contact to sort out joint bills, lease agreements etc.

Could after giving her space to heal, I could text her and maybe meet up or should I just give up. We both love each other but I’ve hurt her due to my mental health

Tl;dr can I fix our relationship, she thinks I didn’t love her and she got hurt

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* This article was originally published here

Was I wrong for hanging out with ex despite gf's wishes?

I (25M) have a beautiful girlfriend whom I'll call Anna (22F), we've been together for over a year. I truly love Anna deeply and can envision a life with her, which is what I want to preface this with.

Around two months ago, I was out at a bar one weekend with some friends in downtown Seattle (where I live) where I unexpectedly saw my ex-girlfriend whom I'll call Zoe (25F). We got to talking, I had no ill intentions at this point, she was practically just an old friend whom I hadn't seen for like over five years (in the seven years since we broke up we'd only seen each other once, and not for long; at a mutual friend's funeral five years ago).

Some info on Zoe: we've both grown up in a town by the outskirts of Seattle. We were childhood friends, and began dating since we were 13. We were high-school sweethearts; Zoe was my first kiss, my first girlfriend, my first love- everything. When we went to college (I stayed in Seattle, she moved to Colorado for college) we broke up soon enough into our freshman years due to the long distance. We ended things amicably and on a good note, and haven't spoken since we bumped into each other at that bar.

After hanging out, we exchanged numbers and decided to keep in contact. Zoe and I have been texting regularly these past couple months, everything has been strictly platonic between us.

I have told Anna about this, and how she felt; she stated that she wasn't sure why I had to keep in contact with Zoe now, especially after all these years, but that she trusted me. And that she wouldn't like the idea of us hanging out alone.

Yesterday, it was the fifth year anniversary of the death of one of mine and Zoe's mutual friends, whom we'd known since high school. The friend's family and a bunch of our mutual friends and classmates gathered together in her honour, at her grave and then by the lake we used to hangout together; we all caught up and just talked about our memories of her. It was a nice and nostalgic but pretty emotional day.

After everyone left the lake by dark once it was time to go home, Zoe asked if I wanted to get a drink. I agreed, we went to a bar alone and did just that. Only that. Talked, caught up, and got a little drunk. For a fair bit of that time we were talking about the memories of our passed friend.

I got home late that night, around 2am, to my angry girlfriend. I'd only just realised I had three missed calls and a bunch of missed texts from her, since I had told her before I'd be home by around 10pm after the gathering by the lake. She asked where I'd been, that I was meant to be home ages ago; and I told her the truth: the gathering, and I went for drinks at a bar with Zoe and lost track of time and wasn't on my phone. Anna was furious, we had a massive fight and haven't spoken.

TL;DR Hung out alone with ex despite gf's request. Am I in the wrong? It was all platonic.

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I’m jealous of my wife for playing GTA RP with a romance story in it. How do I deal with it?

My wife and I (both 24) are both gamers and we play a variety of video games. Recently we came across a GTA RP server in which we both got “hired” as officers in the LSPD. Everything was fine, until she mentioned that she’s doing a kind of romance story with a guy from LSPD. As a person that did experience some really shit relationships in the past, I cannot get over a feeling of being kind of cheated on and it wrecks my head.

I cannot say that she’s not giving me attention, because she is, and seeing how this RP romance is getting into my head, she constantly talks that I’m the only one she loves, that she’s not going anywhere, and she’s mine.

The big issue I have with this is that in my mind, this scenario of romance roleplay lights up the same feelings of jealousy, sadness, heck, I could say I’m depressed because of it. I completely understand the concept of Role Play, and that she’s just playing a flirtatious character (related to a streamer that we both watch on Twitch).

I also play GTA RP but the concept of “going on a date” or even S*X RP for me is a really difficult area for me. I can talk to a girl in RP, but as soon as I’d see that they are thinking of getting a romance story role play with my character, I feel guilty, as if I was cheating on my wife. That’s why I keep this kind of stuff as far as possible. I’m chill with planning stories, heists, etc, but the romance aspect just scares me.

I’ve been really depressed since it started with the romance story, and I know that it’s completely irrational. I’ve stopped playing RP for this reason as well.

Another thing is that I work a standard 8am - 4PM/5PM jobs, so I do end up going to bed around 11PM, but it’s time when the most people are on RP and I’m feeling really shit, falling asleep by myself.

Is there anyone who’s had a similar experience, or who can open my eyes on the subject of not having to worry about rp stupid romance story? I really need it.

TL;DR My wife is playing a romance story in GTA RP and I’m jealous of it. What do I do?

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* This article was originally published here