My (30 m) gf (27 f) says she doesn’t trust herself

My girlfriend of 4 months is very insecure and was slightly sheltered in the past. Before her and I met, she had a passionate and very toxic fling with an emotionally abusive narcissist. Well he’s popped back up (more than likely out of boredom or not being able to make a victim out of someone else) harassing her, threatening to show up places and get her fired from her job ect.

Last night she kind of blew up on me over a very small issue and i could tell it was coming from somewhere else. So after some work and talking, i pulled it out of her that she still has feelings for this guy because “the sex was really good” and ect ect. She goes to the same gym and when she saw him recently (after all of this harassment) he told her to give him $500 or go home and “make love to him”. She said she stormed off telling him she’s in a relationship and isn’t interested ect. But white talking last night, she said after leaving, it brought her back to thinking about the sex they had and got her excited. And that she doesn’t trust her thoughts or actions and decided to block his number ect.

It took awhile to open her up and feel safe to tell me these things, so I didn’t react when she was talking about them, just listening. But her and I haven’t had sex (mutual decision to wait), so obviously these things are heart wrenching to hear. Her and i have a really good relationship (communication, chemistry, similarity in values, same interests). I treat her like a queen, better than she’s ever been treated in the healthiest relationship she’s ever had, she says. But she seems to be drawn away by this extremely toxic narcissist that has called her names, made her develop tons of insecurities, and even inspired her to get tattoos that cover parts of her body that he criticized. The obvious answer is “just drop her and move on”, but I really want this to work out with her. Any suggestions?

TL;DR: gf’s narcissist ex fling popped back up harassing her and tried blackmailing her into having sex with him. And although ex is taking action to remove his presence from her life, she’s still attracted and drawn to him, and I don’t know what to do

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Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris' Relationship Timeline - Cosmopolitan UK

Sophia Bush and Ashlyn Harris' Relationship Timeline  Cosmopolitan UK

* This article was originally published here

Devastating break up me 'M31' 'F27, I'm lost and need external point of view

TL;DR " break up from 2years relationship with house and family goals... I'm lost"

Hi there me 'M31' was in relationship for more than 2y with 'F27', despite our love and respect the relationship was somehow broken cause of trust issue and couple incompatibilities, she was lying and acting suspiciously when she's out socially, after 2 years of patience, I decided to cut off and break up last week.

It's really hard going through this, physically and emotionally. I still think about her and a small part of me is kinda waiting a reaction (a fight back, an honest discussion or something else), but no sign of her from last week, and deleted me from all social platforms.

what's your opinion ? What should I do ? I'm just sad and lost

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I (36m) caught wife (32f) sending nudes to another guy.

TL;DR Wife caught sending nudes, I don't think I want a divorce. I'm asking for advise on how to proceed.

Throwaway of course.

Don't think I can speak to anyone I know about this (yet). So here goes internet;

Married 5 years, together 11, no kids. I thought we had no martial problems..

Yesterday I (36M) went on to my wifes (32F) phone and was looking through her photos. I found one took the day before of her nude.. I was super surprised as I hadn't seen it before so checked her messages. She had sent it to a customer from her work (she works in a gym), the pic preceded a text from him asking her to "cheer me up". There were more messages too but I didn't read them, except for seeing they all ended with lots of 'xxxx' kisses. I confronted her straight away, throwing her phone on the bed. She picked it up, deleted the conversation and was super apologetic telling me she loves me, etc and that she made a dumb mistake.

She said she has been texting him for around 1 month, and just got caught up with the attention. Apparently he has a girlfriend, has never sent my wife a nude, and this was the first one she had sent him. She told me that she hadn't met up with him outside of work, never physically cheated.

She's currently at work and is due back in a bit, where I plan to ask her to give me her phone, because I googled recovering iPhone messages and it says it can be done within 30 days. If she refuses this I think I will seriously consider divorce. Part of me doesn't want to read the messages between the two of them but I feel like I need to see exactly what was said before deciding what to do. I don't think I believe her that it was the first nude she sent.

Afaik she hasn't done anything like this before, except for around 1.5 years ago when I got jealous because she was sending messages on instagram to a gym training partner in the early hours in the morning whilst drinking with her sister. The conversation was deleted by the time I saw it but the pic I did see and was innocent. I just didn't like the fact that she was conversing/messaging a guy in the early hours of the morning, but we moved on from this.

I know its easy to say just get a divorce etc but life is complicated. I don't want to just end my marriage and myself behaved a bit shitty when I had a crush on her sister, around 2.5 years ago. I got quite close to her sending messages/snaps but never did or said anything inappropriate, and neither did her sister. My wife eventually got sick of how much we were messaging and blew up at me. I now keep a distance between myself and her sister.

I would like to move on from this but not sure how. I think I want a clear understanding of an open phone policy. I want to know who he is, because I currently have no idea. He has no social media (..shock). I train at my wife's gym and if I saw him my blood would boil but I think if he was talking to me and I didn't know it was him that would be worse. Not sure what else I can suggest. Maybe relationship counselling? I have actually mentioned this in the past and she didn't want to do it. Is there any coming back from this? Does anyone have advise who has been in similar situation, and if/what they did and changed to make it work?

Feeling sad. :(

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My boyfriend (31M) doesn't seem to want to have sex with me (25F) much anymore, how can I talk to him about it?

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Am I jealous of our cat?

Am I jealous of our cat?

Me(22F) and my bf(23M) are 3.5 years in a relationship. We decided to get a cat about 1.5 years ago. The cat turned out to be quite independent in nature, he is not very affectionate towards both of us. I’m fine by that, I’ve had cats like him and it’s no problem. He occasionally shows us some love, so most of the time I’m just happy when it happens and thats it.

My bf on the other hand is really obsessed with the cat. He tries to cuddle the cat, even if the cat is not happy with it. He pets the cat all the time and carries him around(this the cat tolerates quite well). The problem is — he just gives the cat so much attention it drives me crazy.

There were several times when bf would call me to come cuddle and then the cat shows up close and he drags the cat in. There is nothing sexual or cute, just an upset cat and an upset me. My love language is touch and I love to just cuddle, but now most of the time the cat us just between us. He just think it’s cute and I’m overreacting.

I tried talking about it and mentioned several times that I want it to be my prime time and after he can do whatever. But the argument just stagnated in “i don’t see anything bad about it” and “he’s just so cute i can’t resist” state.

What do I do? Am I crazy and really jealous of the cat? Should we talk about it again? Should I just drop it and live on?

—-

TL;DR : My boyfriend drags the cat in when we cuddle. I don’t like it. What do we do?

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Am I being over sensitive??

Me [29F] and my boyfriend [28M] have been together for two years and we get on really well. We’re best friends, we love each other, etc etc etc His relationship history has been.. colourful, with his last partner extremely reactive, abusive, shouting constantly and just nasty.. so one of the reasons he says he loves me is I am sensitive and listen and take on board the things he says.

The one problem I have is he makes one too many “jokes” at my expense, and if I get upset he apologises by laughing at me and saying he obviously doesn’t mean it and he loves me, and calls me a baby or oversensitive or whatever. By contrast all I ever do is build him up and tell him how wonderful he is, and if I was to make the same joke back I get told I am rude and have to apologise.

He’s one of the kindest people I know its 100% definitely a joke, he says loving things too ofc and I know he adores me but he didn’t act like this when he was trying to get with me and now he’s comfortable and just is mean :( I tell him time and time again when my feelings are hurt by these “jokes” and he just continues to do it..

For context, these jokes aren’t like “oh you smell haha” they’ve been things like “yeah sorry I was busy I had 5 girls sucking my d!ck that’s why I didn’t reply” or calls me a super nasty name out of nowhere then laughs or just consistently calls me grumpy if I’m not 1000% all smiles and giggles (we live together god forbid I’ve just woken up and am a bit short with him)

TL;DR my partner makes mean jokes to me all the time and idk if I’m just being a baby or this is something I need him to work on?

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