How do I start from scratch?

Could be a long winded post. Sorry in advance.

I'm a 26yo man who over time has lost essentially all connections with past friends and family. Before I say I don't have anyone; I have one close interpersonal relationship with my GF who I cherish. We have lived together for the past 8 years. My concern is that I'm becoming emotionally overdependent on her because I simply have no-one else. I get on well with her family but the connection is not quite the same as having your own parents/ siblings etc. and I wouldn't say that I am particularly close with them. Although I love her and don't have a reason to think something would split us up, I am conscious of the fact that "life can happen" and things can be unpredictable. This was a sobering thought as I realised that if anything did happen, I would be utterly alone. I would have no-one to pick me up if I had to go to hospital, no one to help if I was sick, no one to call if I was having a bad day. The list goes on and it's scary. Moreover, one person cannot be absolutely everything and I don't want to place any burden on her she shouldn't have to shoulder. It is something I have become acutely aware of lately.

You might ask how did I get here? The primary reason is that I, along with my siblings were raised in a highly abusive household. As soon as we got old enough, we got the heck out of dodge. This is the short version of course and have only in the last few years gone n/c with my father as finally became too destructive (as much as I really didn't want to). I have some very infrequent contact with some siblings but for the most part we have scattered to the four winds. I think for some of us, seeing each other again reminds us of the past and would rather move on. As for extended family, they were never really interested or didn't want to get involved so buried their heads in the sand. Adversely, I had many friendships throughout high school and university. However, I lost them all due to constantly moving chasing work in distant cities with my GF. I had kind of a "run away" complex and maintaining friendships with people I grew up got harder to maintain from the other side of the state. Some close friendships I regret that I was also responsible for jeopardising.

Since then, I've been trying to network more with people and create friendships but wow it is difficult. I've tried local clubs, trivia nights at the local but people seem to already have a core set of friends or are simply on different wavelengths. I have tried meetups, friendship apps but they are a minefield of volatile personalities or have nothing in common. I have managed to make a casual friend but we are not close and I'd consider him closer to a drinking buddy than a good friend.

Has anyone been in this spot that could give me some advice? How do I become independent and gain grounding in creating a circle of supportive relationships that aren't just my GF?

tl;dr: My question is how do I create a network of supportive relationships from almost nothing?

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My (19F) boyfriend (20M) recently became close friends with a person I used to be close to (19F) but now dislike due to roommate disputes and miscommunications. It has been affecting me ever since.

I (19F) recently fought with a close friend (19F) a few months ago after being roommates with her for nearly a year in college, Quezon City. We weren’t good roommates to each other but she left me to deal with the problems with the unit when she moved out earlier than the lease. My boyfriend (20M) of nearly two years went on a trip with her and a couple of other people right before the falling out with the roommate.

They’ve become super close and formed a friend group ever since, literally hanging out three times a week (apparently from what he told me) and see each other all the time because they’re all from the same course. It has been eating away slowly ever since and ive only been able to point it out now on why I was uncomfortable with it, which is that he would hide it from me just so to spare my feelings, knowing what happened between the both of us. They dont talk abt me, which i appreciate, but it has been killing me inside because 1) I was still being messed up over by her even after she left (forgetting to pay bills and stuff), 2) it has been a cause of misunderstandings between us due to the lack of communication from her end when she needs to go to the unit or not, and 3) my boyfriend not sharing this part of himself, making me feel insecure in the process.

Ive already brought it up with him earlier, but I dont want to make him choose between me and his friends. I understand that its something he needs to have. But it has just eating away at me since April because theyve been a big part of his life ever since, while I’ve slowly realized that while they are good people, they’re not good friends for me. And there are still leftover feelings from the roomie fight that i still harbor resentment for because it genuinely felt like she got to walk away freely while i got the short end of the stick towards the end of the friendship, which i had to feel until now. I dont want to mess up what we have but I genuinely dont know how to cope.

How can I navigate this situation without hurting my boyfriend and his relationships, while also with my feelings considered?

TLDR: had a falling out with my ex roommate/close friend and now my boyfriend has a friend group. Dont know how to cope without affecting him and my feelings.

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* This article was originally published here

BPD gf breaking up with me

Hey all my gf 27F of 3 years is breaking up with me 28M so suddenly. It’s been a little rough over the past few weeks. Due to arguments and us needing some space from each other. The worst thing we’ve ever been through together has been some long distance at the beginning, and a miscarriage. But a few days ago, she texted me saying she didn’t want to talk that day, so I left her be. The next morning she texted me saying that she was done with me, and she was tired of waiting for us to heal. Of course, I begged and pleaded. And told her I would do whatever I needed to do for her to be happy and stay with me.

I showed up at her place uninvited and it was kind of sorted out, she also didn’t want to be physical, which is very very out of character for her. The next day, she flipped again and told me the same thing, that she was done. And she had felt neglected, which being the strong lover that I am, I can’t imagine was true. But I validated her anyway. Especially being that her ex bf verbally and physically abused her, which I have never ever come to do or considered doing. Shes saying there’s nothing that I can do/say to keep her. I’m just blind sided by this, and she swears there’s nobody else. She’s been unrecognizable, and cold, and treating me like I’ve meant absolutely nothing… she won’t answer my questions, I don’t get it. She’ll tell me to leave her alone but she won’t tell me if she wants me to leave her alone for good. I also said that if there is someone else, then she can tell me, and I’ll back off immediately. But she won’t say that either. I’m not sure how to move forward. Will she be back?I’m usually better than this when it comes to moving on from people. But this one cuts deep. Thoughts?

TL;DR: gf with BPD suddenly doesn’t want to be with me. Being extremely harsh and cold. She’s cut all communications and barred me from everything, despite everything we’ve been through I can’t sleep. I’m not sure how to move forward.

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* This article was originally published here

Boyfriend (21M) took my (20F) out of his bio after a fight

i understand how this may sound like a very juvenile thing for my age, but i am curious to hear opinions on this.

about 4 days ago my boyfriend and i had a very explosive fight. this was because of something i did, and i will say it was a big mistake on my behalf. not cheating or anything, but definitely a bad bad move. in this fight he told me that we were broken up, he was done with me and he’ll move on. a few days passed and he asked me to come over. we spoke more and he admitted he doesn’t want to break up but he was extremely hurt.

now, 4 days later, i can see he has removed my name from bio - which he did AFTER claiming he doesn’t want to break up with me.

there was an incident in the past where he messaged another girl, and i’m very concerned this has happened again. i don't see any other reason for removing people from your bio other then wanting to be appear available. especially if he was unsure on the breakup to begin with.

i don’t know if i should bring this up, because we are still on shaky territory, and i don't want to do anything that will push him away.

but, admittedly, this has brought up some extreme insecurities in me and i am almost desperate to know the answer/ask him to put my name back in there so he doesnt cheat again.

what should i do?

TL;DR; my boyfriend removed my name from his bio after an argument. days have passed and we have made up. hes been unfaithful before and im concerned its happened again. do i ask him about this?

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* This article was originally published here

Rooted in Relationships: Farm Bureau Bank Continues to Expand, Hires New Relationship Banking Market Manager - EIN News

Rooted in Relationships: Farm Bureau Bank Continues to Expand, Hires New Relationship Banking Market Manager  EIN News

* This article was originally published here

My (34f) bf (35m) doesn't want me to attend his sister's family birthday

Hello! First of all, sorry if there's any mistake. English is not my first language.

So, today is the birthday of the sister of my bf. On saturday she's celebrating with friends and she invited me. I am going.

Today, my (34F) bf (35M) of 6 years told me she also wants to have dinner with their family, since today is the day. And we asked me if It's ok IG he attends alone with our daughter (5 month old).

I asked if this is something her sister told him or if this is something he thought by himself. He told me he thought about it because we are not having the best time together (mainly because of the baby) and I am rather sad this days (I tend to be alonse when I am sad).

I felt super bad with this. I tried to tell me how ugly and cruel it sounds to me and that I feel excluded (I think is worth mentioning that they are a very united family and even tough they treat me well and they are nice to me, I never felt part of their family). He insist there's been a lot of time since they are alone together and that I Should understand that and not feel excluded.

So, I guess I am asking a bunch of people online. Am I wrong?

Thanks!

TL;DR my bf wants to attend alone with our daughter tonight to have dinner with his family for his sister's birthday. I feel excluded. He says It's not a big deal.

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Make it make sense

make it make sense

I’m 21F, hes 20 M

so I very shortly dated this guy and I genuinely don’t understand what his deal is. To make it short, he love bombed me like crazy , lost feelings all of a sudden , then kept breaking no contact, blatantly told me wanted to keep me around, but when I told him how I felt he called me psychotic LOL. He called me a few days after this “psychotic” incident talking as if nothing happened, I was kind but didn’t give much in. So in my head I think, okay we’re on good terms ,whatever, move on. I have not contacted this man once after expressing how I felt but now he’s out here weeks after the phone call reposting shady stuff on tik tok. So what’s his deal? I’ve left him completely alone, no contact at all, removed him off everything a while ago, I used to reach out here and there but definitely not after the “psychotic” incident. I’m aware he’s a clear narcissist who literally does nothing but sits at home all day on tik tok. I just wanna understand what in the worlds going on in his head.

TL;DR- got love bombed, went no contact and he won’t stop with the shady reposts online.

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* This article was originally published here