My (19F) boyfriend (20M) recently became close friends with a person I used to be close to (19F) but now dislike due to roommate disputes and miscommunications. It has been affecting me ever since.

I (19F) recently fought with a close friend (19F) a few months ago after being roommates with her for nearly a year in college, Quezon City. We weren’t good roommates to each other but she left me to deal with the problems with the unit when she moved out earlier than the lease. My boyfriend (20M) of nearly two years went on a trip with her and a couple of other people right before the falling out with the roommate.

They’ve become super close and formed a friend group ever since, literally hanging out three times a week (apparently from what he told me) and see each other all the time because they’re all from the same course. It has been eating away slowly ever since and ive only been able to point it out now on why I was uncomfortable with it, which is that he would hide it from me just so to spare my feelings, knowing what happened between the both of us. They dont talk abt me, which i appreciate, but it has been killing me inside because 1) I was still being messed up over by her even after she left (forgetting to pay bills and stuff), 2) it has been a cause of misunderstandings between us due to the lack of communication from her end when she needs to go to the unit or not, and 3) my boyfriend not sharing this part of himself, making me feel insecure in the process.

Ive already brought it up with him earlier, but I dont want to make him choose between me and his friends. I understand that its something he needs to have. But it has just eating away at me since April because theyve been a big part of his life ever since, while I’ve slowly realized that while they are good people, they’re not good friends for me. And there are still leftover feelings from the roomie fight that i still harbor resentment for because it genuinely felt like she got to walk away freely while i got the short end of the stick towards the end of the friendship, which i had to feel until now. I dont want to mess up what we have but I genuinely dont know how to cope.

How can I navigate this situation without hurting my boyfriend and his relationships, while also with my feelings considered?

TLDR: had a falling out with my ex roommate/close friend and now my boyfriend has a friend group. Dont know how to cope without affecting him and my feelings.

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