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Thursday, June 13, 2024

What should I (F18) do about this situation with my boyfriend (M19)?

So pretty much we have been dating for around 5 months. We made a lot of promises to each other and promised that we’d stick together no matter what and eventually get married. But recently from about 3 months ago, I have been feeling a little distant from him. The passion in our relationship has just died down. In the nicest way possible, it feels like we’re an old married couple now. I’m a person that wants to embrace my youth and make everyday worth it, since we’ll be older soon. We’re both in the same high school, so I dont really know what to do. Im starting to love him as a friend more than a boyfriend, because the romance in the relationship has just died down and I really cant find the romantic type of love in my heart for him. It sucks, and I do love and care for him since he’s a great person, but I’m just starting to see and love him more as a friend. I dont wanna break his heart. He’s really dependent on me and doesn’t have many friends. He said it himself, and I hate that feeling. I don’t want anyone to be dependent on me, it just ends up feeling like a burden. I’m not saying he’s a burden at all, but lately I’ve been feeling like my energy is drained from all this and I just cant find my inner happiness anymore, especially in this relationship. It also just feels like he’s putting less effort in to impress me, and I like it when a guy tries hard to impress you and win your heart. For example, I get up early every single morning to get dressed to look pretty so I can impress him. I mean it’s a good thing thats he’s comfortable with me now, but like i said before, it just feels like we’ve ended up in the ‘old married couple’ routine, if you know what i mean. We also have very different interests and a regular conversation between us is often very awkward and unnatural, other people have noticed this too. Overall were two extremely different people. I know they say opposites attract, but I think there should be atleast some things in common. I often do try to make conversation with him, but I dont know why but he usually doesnt respond much in real life. Over text its fine, but I think he’s just a little awkward in real life, and thats okay because im also a pretty awkward person. But, I just want to be with someone that I can be myself around and that has the same humour as me, is that too much to ask for? He’s a really great person but Im just starting to feel that were two very different people. Also, we had gotten in a fight once because he said that I didnt spend the day with him since I chose to spend it with my girl friends in school. Since this argument, Ive just been feeling as if it is my responsibility to make sure that he is happy all the time and never alone, and im sorry to say this but it stresses me out and negatively affects my mental health too.

I feel like a bad person saying this, but I really dont know what to do and after asking my friends for advice, they have said that the best option would be to break up with him, since i dont really see him in a romantic way anymore. I love him as a friend and i think he is a great person, but just not the person for me. Even if I do break up with him, ill make sure i stay his friend because he needs support in his life and his social circle is very small, and like I have said before, he is quite dependent on me. But the thing is, I dont want to break up with him even though we’ve kind of grown apart because of all the promises I made to him before. I promised that we would stick together and solve any issues we had without breaking up, and thats completely fine but what do you do when the person has a completely different vibe, energy and personality from you? I just find it hard to relate to him and I’m sorry but i really cant imagine a future with him. I think he deserves a great girl that is more like him and has the same humour as him, which is probably not me.

So, what should I do? Should I tell him the truth or should I just suck it up and not overcomplicate things?

TL;DR so basically should i speak to him about it and should we move to being just friends again or should i just not overcomplicate things and stay in the relationship how it is and eventually get married?

submitted by /u/AdMelodic9826
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* This article was originally published here

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