BF crosses my boundaries constantly

I've been struggling with something in my 3 year relationship and need some advice. My(21f) boyfriend(25m) often crosses my boundaries, but it's never been anything "major".

He'll make jokes about hitting me. He once threw a glass bottle at me (we were laying right next to each other, but still). He also grips my wrist too tightly sometimes, to the point it hurts, and has pinched me really hard in the breast after I made a joke he didn't like. There are times he pushes my head down forcefully, which makes me feel really uncomfortable or slaps my leg so hard it leaves a mark.

He apologizes and promises not to do it again, but it keeps happening which makes me really upset. I'm starting to wonder if I'm overreacting or if these are red flags. Has anyone else dealt with something similar? I feel like he really loves me because he keeps on buying me expensive gifts and cooking for me. And he is nice 95% of the time.

TL;DR: My boyfriend makes "jokes" about hitting me, grips and pinches me painfully, and pushes my head down sometimes. He usually apologizes but keeps doing it. Not sure if I'm overreacting or if these are red flags.

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* This article was originally published here

Can ‘dad jokes’ be good for your relationship with your child? - WTOP

Can ‘dad jokes’ be good for your relationship with your child?  WTOP

* This article was originally published here

My (24M) boyfriend cheated on me (22M) on holiday with a stripper and gave me herpes

For background information we have been together for 3 years and every year he goes on a lads holiday with his friends. In the beginning he kept liking pictures following girls like adding people even though we were together which hurt and I felt disrespected. I communicated this to him but he still kept doing things and making comments even publicly about other people or still liking pictures two years later. His friendship group, half are in relationships but I’ve seen in group chats they just talk about other girls in a really sexual manner and personally when in a relationship I think it’s disrespectful. They also degrade girls based on their appearance and say like mid or how ugly they are when they aren’t the pick of the bunch like I generally do not have a good impression of his friends: I went through an obsessive phase of checking his account and logging into things during this time due to the whole situation making me feel paranoid and anxious but I loved him and kept forgiving him thinking he’d finally change.

But fast forward to three years later every few months I feel like I find some new disrespect but I’ve lost interest in checking all the time and decided I just needed to trust him if it was ever going to improve. We were getting to a better place I felt like so when he went on his holiday this time we had no arguments I didn’t feel anxious and I trusted him. Yeah he’s been disrespectful on social media and done things I wouldn’t do to him but I never thought like physical cheating was something he’d do.

He comes back is acting really nice and like overly lovey but again I had no suspicions, I was even going to sleep before he got back from his nights out because again I trusted him to not physically cheat on me. We sleep together and a day later I start to feel pain down there but think nothing of it. It gets worse so I google my symptoms and everything that is coming up is STDs but I’m in disbelief and brush it off like it can’t be that. So I used a mirror to look and I was swollen and had bumps and I confided in my sister who told me what it sounded like - herpes.

So I booked in to the doctors and got tests done and messaged him saying we needed to talk. He proceeds to ghost me for 2 days and acts like I don’t exist while I’m sat here confused hurt crying like conflicted about what has gone on.

He finally messaged me the truth, well half a truth but I kept pressing cos his story of just being touched at a strip club and sharing a sponge and bed with his mates does not spread an STD. So he told me apparently she just like kissed the top of his dick and he was so drunk it took a while to register what was going on and he left. If anybody knows is that enough to like give someone herpes because I’m still conflicted whether to even believe that.

His reasonings for going to the club were he would be the only one not going in and his mates were robbed in a taxi the night before so he didn’t want to leave by himself, he also thought since I am the only girl he has slept with like he’d have this dance and then it’s out of his system - disgusting. And his friends in relationships too all went with him to this club.

He’s told me how sorry he is and how much he’s fucked up and he realised what he’s done and I feel bad for him because he seems to be so insecure about the fact he lost his virginity late and doesn’t have a lot of experience with girls so I feel like he just tried to fit in with all his friends. He does genuinely seem sorry but I know for a fact no matter how drunk I was I would not do that to him.

I feel conflicted because again he left and how apologetic and guilty he seems to feel like makes me want to forgive him. But at the same time I just feel like I’ve been going through a cycle of being disrespected and hurt for 3 years now. I feel like because we were so good in the beginning and I really love him I just want to see the best in him but surely if he loved me he’s make effort to change and my feelings would be worth more than fitting in with his friends.

I just don’t know what to do and he admitted he wouldn’t have told me what happened so I’m lucky in a Wierd way that I got try is STD even tho it’s made me feel embarrassed dirty and violated. I just don’t know what to do. Does anybody have experience of trying again after somebody has cheated? What was it like? I just don’t know where to go from here.

TL:DR - boyfriend has cheated on me in a stripper club on lads holiday and gave me an STD but seems to be very remorseful and regretful about it and I’m conflicted about what to do, can a relationship still function after the trust is broken like that?

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* This article was originally published here

Booking Same Wedding Venue as Sibling

I am 25F and my sister is 32F. Years ago my fiancé and I planned out our entire engagement and wedding plans well in advance. My sister unexpectedly got engaged a few months before I did and I was so excited for her! She began to plan her wedding for next fall.

After I got engaged there was this unspoken expectation that I would not plan my wedding until 2026 and I told her that I would wait although I was pretty unhappy in doing this. However, recently my dad almost died and had to have a big life altering surgery and I realized that I was the one 20 years from now who would regret it if God forbid my dad wasn't able to walk me down the aisle because I waited for two years. I reasoned with myself that I will not invite out of town guests so as to not impact her wedding and so the wedding planning began for next summer because that's when our anniversary is.

Okay this is where things get kind of messy. I already knew where I wanted my reception from years ago and we live in a town where there's not a huge selection of nice banquet halls and this particular venue is extremely popular in our town for hosting weddings. When my sister started planning her wedding she would go on about how much she didn't like this place, however, she did a tour and decided to book it back in spring. I personally do not see why having my reception at this venue is a threat; my guest list is less than a third of the size of hers, there are maybe 5 guests who overlap, the reception is an a smaller room tucked away in the lower level, and it is an extremely popular venue in our area where many people we know personally have gone. My parents support me as they know I’ve always liked this venue and I’m not booking it to intentionally upset her.

When I told her she completely blew up saying how upset she is that I'm getting married in the same year as her and how she's never felt more low and insignificant in her life. She then texted my mom saying that she's cutting contact with the family, saying my mom betrayed her by allowing me to make my plans, ripping her to shreds even though she wasn't involved at all. For context she has a dog that we take care of for her; my parents love this dog, he is literally grandson to him and they've cared for him for the past decade. Well she said she's not going to allow him to be taken care of by my parents anymore as some sort of punishment and that she'll only have him under our care when she's working.

I just feel really guilty that my mom was dragged into this for absolutely no reason not long after my dad had his surgery.

TL;DR, My dad became extremely unwell and I decided to bump up my wedding by a year and use the venue I wanted to use, but my sister is using the same one.

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A girl I Was talking to left me on Delivered

Can someone provide me with advice?

So I was talking to this girl and our conversation was good. The length of text we sent each other was quite even. Although that was the case it was short lived. She’s been on DnD for 2 days and the last message sent was from me. I haven’t hit her up yet and If I do I plan on setting something up ASAP.

She did seem quite interested and engaged with the conversation. I’ve tought up of what I should text her but I’m not too sure if it will come out right.

Here are a couple of them:

• why did u give me your number • you must have a man • let’s set something up They sound too direct for me

I’m actually quite interested in her and dont want to let things end so easily.

If you have any advice on what or how I should text her, please let me know.

For some reason I feel like I’m being tested?? Maybe I’m being too delusional.

I’m trying to get back to her some time today because I’ve done nothing for 2 days now and I feel like if I left it any longer I’d end up regretting it.

TL; DR; girl I was talking to left me on delivered after having good conversation what should I do?

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* This article was originally published here

Is it delusional to think he [24M] still thinks about me [22F]?

This guy ‘24M’ and I ‘22F’ talked for about two and a half months and it was going great. We were talking about being together and he said he wanted to make it official soon, but then he randomly told me that he didn’t think he was ready for a relationship right now but still really liked me. I was obviously devastated because he was everything I wanted in a partner, but ultimately understood. There is no bad blood and I’m not bitter about the situation since he was very nice about it.

He said he wanted to stay in contact but every time I text or try to get in contact, he was so dry. (we still follow each other on everything since it was a very healthy end) I finally gave up on trying to remain friends but I have noticed that he rewatches my TikTok stories almost every time I post (he usually is the first one to watch and I’ll see him at the top again later in the night). I’m not sure if I’m being delusional and hoping that he still wants me, but I just don’t know why else… What could possibly be going through his mind?

tl;dr Am I being delusional for thinking he still thinks about me because he rewatches my TikTok stories?

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My (21M) Gf(19f) told me that she wouldn’t tell me if she cheated on me.

So my gf and I have been together for about two months. We are in a ldr and I love her with all my heart. We were having a conversation about cheating, and I told her that there is no way that someone can cheat on their partner and still love them. I think that it is Bs, and if someone cheats on their partner, they are being selfish and must not love their partner at all. She disagreed with me saying that shit happens, and that people can cheat on their partner and still love them. So I asked her if she will ever cheat on me and she said, no, not intentionally. I asked her if she did, would she tell me, and she told me no. I asked her so she would just continuously be cheating on me and not telling me and she said no, she would feel terrible and would never do it again, but she wouldn’t tell me. When she said that, I told her that I would want her to tell me even though I would most likely break up with her after she told me. That was all I said then, but now that I’m thinking about it, I think that it’s a huge red flag, and it scares me to think that would cheat on me and never tell me. I feel very uncomfortable knowing this and I want her to assure me that if she ever cheated on me, she would at least tell me. How do I go about bringing this conversation up again, and make her see my perspective?

Tl/Dr: Gf told me that she would never cheat on me, but if she did, she wouldn’t tell me.

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* This article was originally published here