My girlfriend said the most awful things unprovoked while drunk

My girlfriend said the most awful things unprovoked while drunk

My (28F) girlfriend and I (30M) just moved in together after being long distance for some time. We are both single parents. The beginning of our relationship was amazing, but about 3 months in she sort of pulled away.

Honestly I couldn't tell if it was a love bombing thing or reality setting in that this was getting serious and a move would be involved at some point. It was still obvious she was head over heels in love with me, but the dynamic had changed. Frequency of sex dropped off hard, the fun and flirty vibe was replaced with a serious only one, she went from being very touchy feely to not wanting to be touched at all.

Since we were long distance we used to sext and flirt a lot, that dropped off. She said she couldn't explain why she was feeling the way she was but in other ways behaved otherwise like a woman that was very much head over heels in love with me. I chocked all this up to the very reasonable stress that was related to the coming move and did my best to not take it personally. All of these details are relevant.

Yesterday I came home from work and she was pretty tipsy. We were playful with each other, worked on unpacking, and had about a 2 hour chat. She initiated some really intense sex that I obviously enjoyed. She's never really been in to aftercare but l'm a lover and I want to cuddle and chat afterwards for a bit. She tends to want to roll over and sleep.

We cuddled for a bit before she pushed me off of her and started talking nonsense. Something about what she needed to visit Europe and get through airport security, how she hates America, and how everything is a scam. It was very odd and I figured it was the alcohol taking even though she had been otherwise coherent. I played al with her for a bit and told her l'd make her a tinfoil hat .. that's when she went off the deep end.

She told me she didn't love me, didn't want to be my girlfriend, wanted to move back home, wanted everyone to fuck off and go back to it just being her and her daughter, said she only pretended to love me because she wanted her daughter to have a father but has changed her mind, that my touch repulses her and she's disgusted by me and she has to force herself to initiate intimacy with me and started crying. I honestly thought she was having the drunk sads and maybe a bit of a breakdown but she insisted she wasn't saying any of this because she's drunk and she means every word of it. She told me l was a huge red flag for asking more about her life story. I told her I wouldn't be spoken to like this and went to sleep on the couch.

I've always gone out of my way to be thoughtful of her, make sure she feels beautiful and loved, do small meaningful things for her, and I love her daughter like my own. I'm genuinely dumbfounded as to where all of this came from and I don't know if I can continue in the relationship. There's never been any signs of any of this kind of thing coming and I've been nothing short of kind and compassionate to her.

Do I chock this up to some kind of stressed induced mental breakdown fueled by alcohol or do I take the verbal and emotional abuse at face value and walk away before it gets worse?

TL;DR my gf got drunk and started verbally abusing me completely unprovoked

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* This article was originally published here

Rejected By best friend but still like him.

I got rejected by my best friend a few months ago, he said he respected me too much and that he wouldn’t date me because the last time he did date his best friend it ended horribly. (I know it was a nice way for him to reject me) He told me that after he said no that I would probably get over it, and that it was just a phase and that my brain decided that because he treated me nicely I liked him. Which is probably why, but I still like him which is the problem. Ive liked gim for 2 years and im embarrassed to tell him that its longer than a week 😭I have one class with him this year and he would always keep eye contact with me and crack jokes mid class. He sits In front of me and often has his elbow at my desk. These feelings I have are still there, and they won’t leave. There are other small things that he does that are sweet but I don’t know if it’s him being friendly or what? I really need help on how to get over this. 😭😭 I respect him so much and I don’t want us to ruin our friendship over this.

TLDR: my best friend rejected me 2 months ago very nicely, but I still like him, he thinks ive liked him for a week when it’s more like 2 years.He does small things like putting his elbow on my desk during class and keeping eye contact with me and talking to me more than usual, how do I get over him?

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* This article was originally published here

Yung Miami Says Diddy Never Abused Her During Their Relationship + Believes Romance Was Beneficial For Both Of Them - TheJasmineBrand

Yung Miami Says Diddy Never Abused Her During Their Relationship + Believes Romance Was Beneficial For Both Of Them  TheJasmineBrand

* This article was originally published here

[28M] My Height Disproportionately Affects My Ability to Date and I Need Perspective

I'm located in the United States, I'm 5'5 and Black. I don't generally ask for advice on things like this because mostly people give advice that makes them feel better about how they view the world, but is fail to engage with the actual point. Like if I said, "I think I'm being excluded from the social circle at work because I'm Black" telling me to be more confident would be both dumb and offensive. Similarly, talking about individual stories of success doesn't really get at the larger systemic issue. That being said, this is definitely a thing, and it's definitely a strong cultural norm and preference than an innate biological one. I've been to around 16 countries and this is only a thing in the United States and Europe. I have trouble understanding it, but I've isolated like the other factors in my life and gone back through my interactions for the past few years of my life to figure out if there are any other factors that could be hindering. It's definitely not my style because I get complimented on my outfits every time I go outside. It's definitely not level of fitness because I am definitionally more fit than 96 percent of people. It could be that people think I'm arrogant if I talk about my life honestly without trying to be self-deprecating, but on observation of how other talk about themselves the way I speak about myself isn't out of the norm. I'm also generally regarded as funny by my peers, and someone who can confided in by my subordinates. I'm a bit gruff on account of competing in combat nationally in college. I usually go the extra mile to make people feel both heard and understood, if they are someone I know is sensitive. Otherwise I will still help, but I won't be nice. I have my own experiences, but specifically what I'm looking for can fall into a few categories:

1. Selection: I have a few preferences at things that point towards a person's general work ethic and being able to keep up with me. I have generally fuzzier edges on things like physical attraction. I have no hardline preference for like height, race, or hair color. I measure by general fitness and not by weight. So if you're generally athletic but carry a few extra pounds, that's fine with me and also I can't deal with people who are ultra religious, or Conservatives. I had one instance in my freshman year of college, where I got set up on a date with a woman who was 6'1, and I acted weird because I thought I looked like a child next to her. Afterwards, I felt intense shame because that wasn't consistent with the type of person I wanted to be so I reoriented the way I perceive attraction, so I no longer have that particular weakness. My assumptions are that these are reasonable standards to have based on my personal values and traits I find admiral in people. Here, I am looking for feedback on selecting partners and people that I should pursue, within reason. Talk about what kinds of people you have seen dating shorter people.
2. Location: I think choosing location is important for finding partners. I am smart and charismatic. I am at a disadvantage at online dating and loud bars where people are judging largely based on looks, the other people there are 18-24, and where it is hard to hear. I am at an advantage in places like libraries, cafes, museums, art installations, and physical events that let you have down time like events at the park. If you have short friends who have done well with dating in the United States, where have they been successful. I am asking this question to understand if people have had success at places where I've struggled and if there are other places where I could be successful that I haven't considered. I've found that meet ups for a hobbies aren't particularly effective.
3. Connections: Women generally do not recommend short men to their friends. So it's fine to be friends with women, but with a clear understanding of the lack of utility those relationships will provide towards this specific case. I do not date anyone through work, that's a disaster waiting to happen. My family are first-generation immigrants so I don't have an extended network to draw on. Also while my family is quite wealthy, money isolates. I move states every 10 months for work, so my options in terms of friendships delivering for me are negligible. What I am looking for here is if you know anyone who is my height or shorter and in my age range (1993-2001) who was able to use connections to find someone.
4. Intangibles: These are things like chemistry, commonality, body language, shared history and interests. I'll reiterate, the go to the gym is not good advice for me I already go and for me putting on more muscles trends towards body builder territory. I have always been an athlete, I am extremely confident in the capabilities of my body and I go dancing every weekend. Areas where I struggle to connect with people, I am a first generation immigrant and struggle to connect with most Americans on shared cultural background stuff. I grew up Rich, I struggle to connect with people of a lower socioeconomic class at times. I have ADHD, at times struggle to put myself into the shoes of people who do not. According to others, I am funny. Like insanely funny. I do self-deprecating jokes about my behavior, but not about my appearance. In the past I've had 3 girlfriends for about a year, all were from online. None were from dating apps. The sites that I used to find them actively discourage dating or giving out contact information and it was a pandemic/post-pandemic happenstance that we decided to break the rules.

TL:DR I need dating perspective because I am short and Black in a country that denigrates both of those things. I am not insecure about my height, but recognize the social stigma around it.

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* This article was originally published here

Why does he make out with me very much?

I’ve (f20) been with my boyfriend (m22) for 1.5 years. At the beginning of our relationship we’d make out while having sex but now we rarely ever do. Nothing else has changed though, we still have other foreplay and sex just as regularly and I’ll kiss him here and there, occasionally with tongue, but never like a make out session. I feel like making out especially as foreplay or just because is what everyone does, is it normal we don’t? I wish we did more, but he always brushes it off when I keep asking for more kisses. Maybe I’m just terrible at making out?

TL;DR How often is a normal amount to make out in a relationship?

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* This article was originally published here

‘Grown Women’ explores complex mother-daughter relationships - The Atlanta Journal Constitution

‘Grown Women’ explores complex mother-daughter relationships   The Atlanta Journal Constitution

* This article was originally published here

I (24F) had soft-intimate situation with a friend (27M) while being in a relationshim with my bf (26M) - what should I do now?

Let's start with the fact - I know it's wrong what I've done.

We've had some problems with bf lately overall. And there has been a friend of mine who I could say used to be really attracted to me, but he had a GF over that time, so he didn't pursue it [that's a guess, I never talked to him about it tbh]. But we kept having contact because we share same friend group.

We met on a weekend beach party last saturday and we had pretty good time, I was alone because my BF went to a wedding with his family and he didnt take me because we had arguement. So that other guy asked me for a walk outside of a group just to talk, I agreed, we went like 200 meters away on a beach and sat together and had a talk about life, about his break up with his ex, n stuff, I also shared to him problems in my relation, and we kind of started getting a bit closer. He started touching my feet, i didnt tell him to stop because I liked it, it's something my bf never does. He then pulled closer to me, i hugged him and we kissed passionately. I lost control a bit there, he started touching my tummy and back, I'm a bit chubby and he started praising my body, I started touching him too, he took off his shirt and we still kissed, and then he said we should stop, I immediately pulled off too, but well - the kiss and touch happened.

And I started to feel attraction to him...

tl;dr hugged&kissed with another man after having an arguement with my BF, what should I do now?

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* This article was originally published here