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Friday, October 14, 2022

Bf read my words wrong, got mad, and now were arguing.

TL;DR : Bf read my words wrong, got mad, and now were arguing. What should i do next?

Okay so

He was in highschool and i just dropped out from the same school (personal reasons). I was playing this one roblox game on my ipad, I encountered something and wanted information about that said thing, I couldn’t go out of the roblox tab to google it up, because then it would kick me out of the game (sadly) and I couldn’t make splitscreen because google isnt one of the apps at the bar thing.

But i did had a splitscreen to telegram, who which i asked my bf and my friend, those because i wanted it asap, (my dad restricted my internet to 6 hours a day, sad) I admit i did kinda worded it wrongly (i was in a rush), “please look up the information about this” instead of “can you please look up the information about this” though my intentions was to ask for help, not force.

He has a busy schedule, but that time i ask was during lunch break, surely he has some time to help. He did, he said ok and told me to wait. He didn’t say no.. so I thought everything was okay! No, it wasn’t.

After helping he got mad at me and i was confused, like, i don’t understand. He said hes stressed and accused me of using him, when all i did was ask for help. And that was the only time i did, before this, nothing. I said if he didn’t wanna help he can just say no. But nah he was still mad.

Then he had to go, which left me confused on what did i do.

When he came back he apologised for being mad, and said he understands he shouldn’t. I was still confused and hurt so instead of forgiving, I decided to keep asking and justifying. I reminded him that he could’ve just said no. He said my tone wasn’t in the asking way, it was the commanding way. He has ADHD so i get where the misunderstanding of tones come from, but this is texting, he could’ve asked for my tone indicator or asked me what i had meant, or even told me to ask him more politely/word it better. My text wasn’t in all caps lock or anything, it just didn’t have a “can”.

He even tried to justify him blowing up because of him being stressed. Honestly we did have this conversation before, and we ended up agreeing every time he blew up or whatever, he has to apologise because at the end of the day, my feelings was hurt still. Like, “I’m sorry for blowing up/getting mad/getting stressed”.

In my views, being stressed out isnt a justification to blow up, but instead its an explanation, especially when all the other did was just ask for help. You may tell me your views on this, because i don’t know if its more justifiable or explanatory.

He says he feel mocked by me asking him to look up information about the game (highschool internet blocks games).

Now he had to go again and we can only talk the next day.

What should i do?

(If its important, my psychiatrist said i have autistic traits, and I’m still in the process of getting fully diagnosed.)

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* This article was originally published here

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

My BF called me loose out of nowhere

My BF (23M) and I (24F) were laying in bed while suddenly out of the blue, he told me if I know if there is a cosmetic procedure to tighten the vagina. I asked him why did he ask me this out of nowhere, mind you, we were talking about something else. And he told me that I was "loose". He then proceeded to reassure me that no matter what, he loves me and that he can put up with it because of how much he loves me.

I haven't had sex with anyone else besides him and my ex (my ex was my first) so it had me thinking how I became loose. I defended myself for a bit and told him that the "husband stitch" is painful for the woman and risks nothing for the man and his pleasure. He asked me if I don't want it, i became quiet and just dumbfounded by what just happened. I just said, if i am loose, then I will take the procedure when I get pregnant and gave birth in the future, for him.

Before I was about to get home, he asked me if we could have another round of sex but i was so put off by what he just said to me that I made an excuse to say that my abdomen hurts and that I gotta go.

I don't think i will be ever in the mood to have sex again. I feel disgusted with myself.

He treats me right, loves me, and is the sweetest bf i have ever had but what just happened earlier was shocking to me.

Tl:DR; Bf suddenly said i was loose and asks me for a cosmetic surgery for vagina tightening but then reassures me that he loves me no matter what i am and will put up with it.

submitted by /u/Forsaken-Day1586
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* This article was originally published here

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

What do you think of this situation...

Im a guy 33, been dating a girl 27 for almost 3 years. I love her and I am contemplating on proposing within the next 6-12months.

Last 2 months however, she started acting a bit colder, a bit snappy and irritated. She was busy at work a lot so I thought that maybe she is just tired and let her have some space.

Last week, she said she will to visit her hometown with her sister 3 hours north because her parent's home needs renovation and she wanted to see what needs to be done because she's been saving up. She said she has a lot of relatives there so she will stay there for around 5 days.

3-4 days before she left there, she wanted to do some shopping. She works hard, but because my salary is much higher than hers, I thought I would cover it. She bought 3 sets of Bras, some new make up (she kept consulting with her female coworker for some reason) even though I was right there. Then she went for a hair treatment and got her nails done.

Then she left. We usually text each other (and occasionally call) in the morning, throughout the day and in the evening, lovey type of stuff. We kept doing that the first few days, although she kept going to sleep earlier than usual because she was very tired.

As the weekend started she messaged me saying that her aunts and her sister are going to the beach town (a few hours west of her location). I told her to have fun and enjoy.

I really missed her on the weekend because we usually meet those days. So I decided to call her at night...as I am about to dial, I get a message like: I am going to sleep now, love you, good night...

I still dialed because she just sent the message...no response.

I felt kind of lonesome, so I decided to call her the next morning and I was getting a weird feeling. No response. Half hour later she messaged me with sleepy photo sitting on the toilet of the hotel she was at, saying she just woke up. I asked her to call when she can... and take some snaps of the beach :)

She replied that her aunt fell down the stairs and needs to go to hospital, so no beach today. I asked her how was her aunt, and that I hope nothing is serious.

Evening comes around and she said that it's rainy and her aunt is not seriously hurt. I tried to dial her phone...no response.

Maybe this is too early to tell, but I have been cheated on once before (a long time ago, but still) so maybe I am overreacting. I miss her a lot and I've been saying this in the messages, I don't understand why she won't give me a quick 10-15 minute call.

Any thought on what may be happening?

TL; DR: My girlfriend went on vacation, she messages cute things, but never picks up the calls.

submitted by /u/Recent_Mastodon881
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* This article was originally published here

Monday, October 10, 2022

Advice on how I (36M) can survive a visit from my parents (60s M&F)

Hopefully this fits this sub. I live an 8 hour flight from my parents, and they have come to visit me for the first time since COVID. However, I'm a very independent person, and having to spend every waking hour with them is driving me insane. In particular is car rides - my Dad insists on sitting in the front seat, and proceeds to fidget constantly and breathe loudly (due to COPD and asthma). This is completely unintentional on his part (as in, he does not realise he is doing it), and for some reason this just triggers a response from me. It's like nails on a chalkboard, and makes the drive excruciating.
I've managed to arrange a day off from them this week, but between now and then I have to survive a 3 day roadtrip with several hours of driving each way. This reaction of mine is entirely on my end, and there's nothing to confront my Dad about ("hey Dad, can you not breathe as loudly as you do?" Is not exactly going to work). Does anyone have any tips how I can manage my annoyances without having a breakdown which would sour their visit for them?

For some background relevance, my relationship with my parents is OK, not terrible but not super close either (I left my home country when I was 21 and have never wished to move back, to the slight disappointment of my parents). I have been suffering from mental health issues for the past 2 years, but I am slowly improving and talking to a therapist regularly. My parents know this, but don't want to talk about it (they're old and British - that's just the way things work there). I also have no SO to help out with the 'burden'.
I feel like this is a ridiculous thing to ask in this sub, but I would like to maintain my relationship as it is with my parents, and at this rate either I'm going to snap at my Dad for what are pretty minor things, or going to have an anxiety attack bought on by the thought of having to suffer through another several hour car journey. In particular I'm hoping for any healthy coping mechanisms when I'm driving and find myself starting to get annoyed but cannot remove myself from that situation.
Thanks in advance for any advice.
TL:DR: Parents visiting, some aspects of how they exist are excruciatingly annoying to me, need advice on how to survive another week with then.

submitted by /u/beardy_sage
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* This article was originally published here

Sunday, October 9, 2022

How, where and when do you tell a guy that you are not looking for anything serious?

Guess the title says it all, I(F29) don’t know how and when to tell someone that you would like your relationship to be only casual. I came out of a serious relationship in July and I am just not ready to commit to a new person yet. I also enjoy the freedom that comes with being single and lastly, I haven’t fully healed from the last relationship.

Last week though, I hooked up with a new coworker (M25) at an office party (just lots of kissing, nothing more) and it was kind of said between the lines that we would do more than that at the next party, which is about a week from now (office parties are a big thing where I work). We haven’t had any kind of talk about what we each are/are not looking for, but I just want to make it clear where I stand without ruining the fun and flirty vibe. When and where is the best time to tell him? And how should I do it without making it sound l assume he is interested in something serious?

TLDR: I don’t how and when to tell a guy that I am not insterested in something serious

submitted by /u/Specialist_Run_7374
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* This article was originally published here

Saturday, October 8, 2022

My boyfriend (22M) and I (23F) had a fight and he is ignoring me. Any advice?

I (23F) had a big fight with my bf (22M) on Tuesday. I’m going to give you a little background: we’ve been together for 2 years and now I’m in the process of changing a lot of things in my life, first of all my studies... bc I’m not happy with what i’m doing and doesn’t make me proud. Let’s say he isn’t very happy about that. He is a very busy guy he works a full time job and he has decided to attend night school to finally get his high school diploma. Nothing makes me more happy and proud. So when Tuesday he called me telling me he had be chosen to do something about work related, I was happy for him but i was concerned. I told him that if we try to do a lot of things simultaneously, we end up doing nothing. And oh my god, I released hell on Earth. He said: I’m not like you, that I can’t finish anything... he was referring to collage. He said that on purpose just to hurt me. We haven’t spoken since. Yesterday I texted him and called him, he said that he would call me back. He didn’t.

So you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to put my most beautiful dress, put some makeup on and hang out with my friends. I’m not stay here at home crying, and waiting for some child to grow up. I’m not going to cry today, maybe tomorrow but not today.

It’s going to be his bday in few days what should I do? I mean I have his gift plus I planned for him a surprise. Plus, I think we should confront each other.

TL;DR; : My boyfriend doesn’t want to talk to me, but I need to get to the bottom of it.

submitted by /u/EnvironmentalBed9028
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* This article was originally published here