I (33f) have been with my husband (32m) for nearly 14 years, married for 5, we have one toddler daughter together and I’ve slowly been feeling myself falling out of love with him.
I think it started after we had our daughter and I realized he isn’t the kind of dad I thought he would be. He’s always had a short temper and had irrational blow-ups but all of the sudden it was happening with my child, not just with me and I started to resent him for it. I always confront him about these anger issues when they surface and he always apologizes and agrees he needs to work on it, but they always resurface.
I think he also resents how I spend much more time being a mom to our child than being his wife, and I know I should try harder with him but if we have time alone I’m really hoping to be alone, not with him or with anyone. For two years I’ve been wrestling with feelings that we are completely disconnected and I don’t know that I can regain the love I once felt.
I also lost weight recently and have begun to have self-confidence for really the first time in my life and I’ve started to enjoy getting looks from other men. We were so young when we met and I never really experienced dating.
He’s a good person and he says he’s still very in love with me and can’t lose me. He’s agreed to couples’ counseling but has never followed through with therapy in the past. I’m afraid I’m just wanting a counselor to give me permission to leave or say we should separate because I just don’t want to hurt him.
Can counseling fix us or is it too late?
TL; DR! Falling out of love with my husband and wanting to know if counseling willful this or if divorce/separation is best.
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