Throwaway because he knows my main account.
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for four years now and for the majority of it I haven't had any external relationships. I have a couple of friends, however I rarely see them because it visibly upsets him when I do. He doesn't want to have these feelings, but they never get better and I avoid spending time with people to not deal with his mood swings. He has tried clinical help and it has not worked for him. My family has visited me once in the last 4 years and he avoided them the entire time they visited. He can't handle being around my family and has never come with me on a holiday to see them. It's not that he dislikes them, he just can't handle being around people he "knows", strangers are fine though. He doesn't have any friends of his own and refuses to make them. He also has some pretty serious anger issues. I wouldn't call him abusive, but he has broken things and gotten irrationally angry at me over things that don't matter.
I recently asked him to go on a trip with me somewhere and mentioned I wanted to spend a day meeting up with one of my friends and he got mad and shut it down. He said that I would be wasting a day if I did that and it would be pointless to go. He can't handle me being gone for more than a day at a time or he can't be productive.
I have tried countless times to talk with him through his issues (I've glossed over some for the sake of brevity and identifying situations), but to no avail. I've urged him to talk to therapists or go through a program to work through his opinions of friendships and his feelings of other people in his life having friendships, but the times he has tried it doesn't work. I feel so lost, because I love him and I want him to grow as a person; but it feels like I can't do anything else to help him. I am really struggling over this and I hate feeling guilty everytime I start a phone call with my family or a friend. I don't know what to do anymore.
I am so sorry if this is convoluted or poorly written, I'm not in a good headspace at the moment.
TLDR: Boyfriend doesn't let me have friends or make friends of his own and it's damaging our relationship. He doesn't outright tell me not to have friends, but his body language, anger, and actions towards me say it.
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