I (20f) have a crush on my manager (20's?m)

Now, I'm not sure how old he is, but I suspect he's maybe mid twenties. I have quite a few managers, two which are horrible and creepy old men, one nice lady, and finally my crush. He's assistant manager. We don't work together super often, but when we do, it makes my day. He's the kindest person there. Instead of scoffing or rolling his eyes at me like all the others, he patiently teaches me everything while throwing in some silliness. He's encouraging and so sweet.

I was passing him something one day, and our hands touched. I felt that zap of electricity you get from touching someone you like. I find myself thinking about what he's doing on my days off, wondering what he thinks of me, always looking at the schedule to see if we are put together.

But now I'm afraid he will sense my liking towards him and become uncomfortable. Or what if he thinks I'm weird for it, and he stops being so nice and friendly? I've never had a crush on a superior before. I'm embarrassed and not sure how to act with him anymore. I forgot how to be normal.

TLDR; I have a crush on my manager and I don't know what to do about it.

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Why would this guy [35 M] want to know my [35 F] business?

This guy has a girlfriend *he and i did actually sleep together once while he's been in the relationship* five months ago when I asked if I could massage him. (I wasn't implying anything sexual I've actually gone to school for Massage Therapy) He told me he would love to but that he doesn't think it's a good idea. And that he's trying to be a good boy. I guess saying he doesn't want to cheat. So I started talking to another guy and when he saw me talking to the other guy. He was trying to get my attention. When he saw me talking to the other guy the first time. He walked by us saying he liked my scarf. The second time he saw us talking he walked over to where we were and started talking.

I don't get why he was trying to be in my business when he has a girlfriend.

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Husband (35M) refuses to budget, am I (27F) crazy?

My husband (35M) makes a very good income, very comfortably covers our private health insurance (I live in a country where that’s an extra cost you can choose above the national care), our very nice spacious house and garden and some extra things every month. Extra expenses involve gym, clothes for our small children, donations to various organisation. I (27F) also make a few extra thousand a month and use it for my dinners out with friends, sporadic holidays with friends, our cleaning lady at home and a babysitter for when I need a rest.

However, we have twice now run out of money at the end of every month. Or rather, he has. If I am spending a lot, I’ll just budget the rest of the month and eat more cheaply or wait a month for my new jacket or whatever. Husband just doesn’t understand this concept. He spends about $300 monthly on Ubers. Another $300 on fizzy drinks he likes, maybe $1000 on eating out, ordering in. If I suggest cutting down he just ignores it and continues.

He doesn’t deprive us of anything, he pays for our food and gives me extra cash if I’m ever lacking for the month. I have no problem cutting down my things when needed. The problem is, if we ever need extra money he would have to cash out shares that are not ready yet. In the Event that happens, what then? He has no contingency plan and I honestly find it fucking weird.

Help! Am I just too cautious? We do live somewhere where we cannot really get a large unexpected bill for something but regardless it makes me uneasy.

*English not my first language sorry.

TLDR: husband won’t make any kind of concessions or budget when he overspends and I am uneasy about it.

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Am i being crazy or is this a normal relationship thing?

My partner (26M) and I (26F) have a long history - we have been together since early high school. I am genuinely obsessed with this guy, I love him more as the years go on. I obviously cant speak for him, but he is obviously hanging around for a reason… must love me too, haha. Weird for me to say that, given I have spent most of the time being needy for constant reassurance (have been working on this).

Anyway, we have been through, overcome, swept under the rug, fought through (basically every scenario) A LOT of different things. So my concern today isnt a “do we break up or do we not” situation, more just a plea for outside perspectives!

We have a unique dynamic, my partner is severely un-empathetic and I am extremely (often debilitating’ly) empathetic - we are a good balance when it comes to situations outside our relationship, but as you can imagine, often causes us some conflicts when it comes to communication inside our relationship, lol.

We recently had a huge, almost relationship breaking, breakdown - mainly because we were growing apart and I wasnt included in a big part of his life. I actually refer to this as death week, because I honestly have never felt that numb, empty, physically sick, broken, in my life. But death week ended up bringing us closer together - way better than we were before. We acknowledge it needed to happen.

Its been a few months now and something has just come up that I feel my kind of crazy, unstable self coming back and I dont know how to do the mind voodoo witch business (AKA just normal mental health lol) to keep it at bay… haha.

I have been getting closer with his friends and I’m now quite good friends with the only girl in the group, and I have been out with the whole group a few times now - all going well!

Tonight my partner brought up something he had been thinking about, basically just touching on the topic that sometimes there will be times where he wants to go out with his friends and that maybe I’m (me) not going to go to everything (I am butchering the delivery here, he really did say it in a healthy way.)

Basically this has my mind racing and spiralling a bit (please dont roast me about being toxic, I am working so hard on this in so many different ways).

I guess I am spiralling because to me, for him to explicitly say this means there are scenarios that he doesnt want me to be around / doesnt want to be with me.

When I express a bit of apprehension, he says “isnt it normal for couples to not do every single thing together” and I get it! I do. I mean… I understand the concept. I know this is a thing for people/couples - I am just really struggling with it because I have never thought “oh I want to go out without you”.

Thoughts? I know I will be in the wrong, I have been working excruciatingly hard on fixing a lot of the toxic characteristics that I had - I am still struggling through a lot, but the key word here is through, I’m loving and appreciating myself for every little better I do.

Additionally, a situation has just come up that I will be having to house sit for a month, but he doesnt want to come and stay with me. To me, this is huge red flags. That being said I know for a fact that he would come if I specifically said it would really hurt me if you didnt want to stay with me - but when I consider doing this, I feel controlling and manipulative.

How do you find the middle ground? Communicating your feelings but not being a toxic partner?

Anxious yet excited… here we goooo.

xx

TL;DR my partner says its normal to not want to do everything together

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My 6 years old long friendship is starting to drain me out

TL;DR: The friendship I have with two friends is really getting boring and stressful. They always talk about the same things and don't really care about me. What can I do?

I am a 20F that has been close friends with two other girls of my same age since highschool. In highschool, we had two more other friends, which, for other reasons, happened to leave our group. I always found myself enjoying the time with my two close friends but, lately, I feel like something has changed. It has already been two years since the end of highschool, but everytime we go out they are still talking behind the back of the two other girls, or other people. Literally everytime. It obviously getting boring, but they always talk about the same things. I always wonder "Aren't y'all tired of it??" Moreover, they always talk about the same subjects, talk behind other people's backs or brag about money. One of the girls even made comments and judged the relationship I have with my boyfriend and told me how I should "manage" the relationship. I told them stories about a really bad experience I had at work (a worker touched me) but they answered "you should have done this..." "you should have done that...", when obviously I was too scared to react. When I tell them about my small successfull moments in life, they seem not to care. When I ask them to hang out, they are always busy. They don't even have a free afternoon to eat an icecream, just once in a week, but they have time for their boyfriends. I feel like they are stuck in a middle school mentality, or i'm either too old mentally. The only thing I know is that our friendship is really starting to drain me out, but I don't know how to take a distance from them, since they are always texting. What should I do?

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I recently asked my ex (F22) to get back together, she rejected me before sleeping with someone else and then asking for me (M23) back. I don’t know what to do.

I recently asked my ex if she wanted to get back together after spending a few months getting closer again after a few months apart ( we dated for 3 years) , to which she said she didn’t feel the same but she still loved me and wanted me in her life as a friend.

It hurt but I ultimately accepted it and decided it was too hard to be her friend so I focused on moving on with life.

Fast forward a month and she reaches out to me, saying how much she misses me and wants to talk things through, and also tells me she’s slept with another guy while we weren’t talking. I don’t have an issue with either of us sleeping with other people when we aren’t together and while we had a few months apart we both did sleep with other people, but the person she slept with was someone she had previously told me she wouldn’t sleep with for personal factors, and that ultimately they just had sex because they wanted to and it wasn’t anything nothing more because he’s madly in love with another girl. But I don’t understand why she would deny a relationship, sleep with him and then ask to rekindle things.

I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if I was just an option and she doesn’t have any respect for me. Please help me.

TL:DR; Ex rejected me, slept with someone else and asked for me back.

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My (29F) partner (25M) lied about his connection to some random women on Instagram

Hello! Me and my partner met at Instagram around 1,5 years ago. Long story short we fell in love and are now living together. However his instagram activity is making me feel very insecure and hurt and I would like to hear advice how to proceed forward.

He seemed to be following several attractive women (normal everyday women with max 1000 followers) from around the globe who share few same interest as him and I brushed it off thinking that he must have met them during travelling or so. Around six months ago I got curious about the women and asked him where does he know them (he openly talked about his friends and instagram profiles but alway avoided talking about the women). He got kind of apologetic and said he would unfollow the ones he followed during his single era. Then he said rest of the women she knows from gigs and parties and I accepted that. Few months ago I noticed he followed some new ones from other side of the planet and I got suspicious. Fast forward to this weekend I decided to confront him again and turns out he lied to me; he actually knew most of the women only from instagram. However he made me believe he has not messaged them. At that point I was having hard time trusting his words so I asked if it would be ok for me to check his instagram DM's and he let me take a look. Well, turns out he was lying again. He had long chat histories with the women and even messaged one of the woman he followed only few months ago. He had even suggested video calls with one of the ladies. I didn't scroll too much and not all of them since I got so hurt about him lying. Sure now that I think back, they were not sexting or anything, just friendly chatting. However the lying and trying to hide the connection to the women is what is so hurtful to me. He said he lied about them because he was worried I would get my feelings hurt. And I cannot understand why would he do actions that he feels that would hurt me and he needs to hide the actions from me. I would be completely fine with him having online friends if he would openly talk about them but he chose to lie on top of a lie about them. That's why it's very hard for me to believe that he just wanted to be friends with cool people with similar interests (all the women in this case were young, good looking bodies, cute faces. Yes it seemed like his type in women which I also fit into. He said he followed themfor their art etc. but several of them had only revealing, pretty selfies and general life pictures. And he was mostly liking the face selfies and revealing bodyshot pictures. He said it is just a coincidence that he is not following any unattractive people).

I try hard to understand his point of view. We come from completely different cultures and in his cultures it is worse thing to hurt someones feelings than speak the truth. In my culture it's seen as very negative to avoid telling the truth, and people are brutally honest even if it hurts feelings. He says the women know about me, and it would be fun to party together if they ever come to our country and expressed to some of the women it would be nice to visit their cities someday. He is also very friendly and cute guy, and easily gets attention of the women he likes. I guess I'm afraid he was using the random women for boosting his ego because before he has been kind of bragging about how much girls numbers he would get in the past etc..

Anyway, now we are lost how to proceed. I obviously feel hurt and like trust issues are forming and he also feels hurt and tired. How could we build better communication and intimacy between eachother? I wish he could feel open and safe enough to talk with me about anything, and wouldn't need to feel like he needs to hide something from me.

TLDR; partner following random, regural attractive women from around the globe and I recently found out he was lying about who they are and what kind of connection he has to them

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* This article was originally published here