My bf (32m) won't stop groping me (30f) during the night and I'm losing sleep and starting to feel avoidant

Firstly, excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile.

We've been together over 5 years and whilst I love him, this is an issue that's always been somewhere in the relationship. When we first started dating he would be very handsy and always try to initiate PDA, which I'm really not into. He'd ignore my refusals to sit on his knee or try make out with me in public, thinking I was just shy, which I was, but also just didn't want to because it feels awkward in public. I'd tell him no, but he'd still persist.

As the relationship has gone on he's always been a person who can't stay still in bed, he fidgets a lot, and hell tend to grope me when I just want to sleep, or I'll wake up to him groping me when again, I just want to get some rest as I work pretty hard jobs. If he's not groping me he's moving me around trying to get me to lie on him or putting his arm under my neck. I tend to wake up cranky and with a sore neck most of the time. I've lost my temper a few times and he will stop, but ultimately he goes back to his ways.

Currently the situation seems to be getting worse. We currently are only living together partly as we are selling our house and moving in with my parents temporarily until we find a new property. So I only see him for half the week until our house sells. I've currently took on a new job and am working double the hours I originally worked, so I'm quite tired due to my body adjusting to these extra 15 hours a week, as well as other external issues, including my mental health. I don't know if it's because he misses me with being apart more now, but it's really starting to drive a wedge between us for me.

I feel reluctant to be intimate because I'm so tired of constantly being treated like a doll, being picked up and moved around and groped, despite me rejecting this. It's a huge turn off to wake up constantly with someone groping you before you even know what day it is. I feel like an object.

Despite all this, I love him and he is a great partner. He treats me so well, cooks, pulls his weight around the home, takes care of me when I'm sick, it's just this one issue and I don't know how else to get through to him that it's really putting me off the relationship. I've flat out told him to stop, I've sent articles of the impacts of this, I've sent tiktoks of people talking about how they feel when it happens to them. My only other option is to tell him it's making me want to pull away more, which I'm sure I probably have done, but it doesn't sink in for long.

I'm just stuck.

Tldr: My bf is constantly groping me or moving me around when I'm trying to sleep despite me telling him not to, and it's putting me off the relationship

submitted by /u/LumaBones
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here

How and where to break up with my (16F) boyfriend (16M) of 6/7 months?

He has much stronger feelings for me than I do for him, and I think it's not fair to him and will hurt him even more if I stay. I also don't really want to be in this relationship anymore in general, because I've lost a lot of enjoyment in talking to/spending time with him. How much (if any) of this should I be saying?

Also, I'm not sure whether to do it in person or over the phone. I know that breaking up over the phone is generally a bad idea because it's considered disrespectful and low-effort. The problem is that I can't think of a suitable place to break up in person. I'm definitely not doing it in school, and we've never been to each other's houses, so that's not an option either. I don't feel comfortable doing it in a public place, because I feel like there's a lack of privacy and we might not be able to talk openly. Also, neither of us can drive, and while my place is near public transport, I'm not sure about his. In the past, dates have also required a lot of planning effort, because of our schedules, our parents, and having to share the car with family members. In this case specifically, we would have to agree on a place and time, at the very least. I don't know if it's worth going through all that planning, and he'll probably be suspicious (though that might be a good thing, at least he wouldn't be totally blindsided). So I'm not sure what to do.

TLDR: I think I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know how detailed my reasoning should be and how I should do it.

submitted by /u/Sea-Engineering9132
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here

How to stop relationship anxiety?

I feel like anxiety is ruining my enjoyment of my relationship

Me (M22) and my boyfriend (M22) started dating 5 months and everything always went super well.

In the beginning as normal we would talk much more than nowadays. We started off by texting eachother every 2 hours.

But in about a month or so the replies started taking longer to come. I talked to him about it and he said that he believes that it is normal for couples to talk less after a while because in the beginning we are getting to know eachother and everything is so new. Plus he said he doesn’t wanna force a conversation with me, he wants it to be natural.

I actually agree with him, I don’t want our conversations to be forced and I don’t wanna change him. And it’s also not like it is a major difference, instead of taking 2 hours to reply he now takes between 3/4 hours.

But I can’t shake off the anxiety, even if rationally I know the relationship is going great, I am sure of his feelings for me, he is meeting my parents for the first time tomorrow and we already have plans for the weekend.

I just spend my days checking to see when he texts me, making mental notes of how long he takes to reply, checking if he is online and not responding.

It’s very draining and I feel like everyday it’s the same.. everything is fine, then he takes longer to reply and the rest of my day is just full of anxiety.

Any tips on how to control my anxiety and overthinking?

TLDR: Everyday I feel anxiety regarding my relationship even though I rationally know everything is fine. How do I stop this?

submitted by /u/mtvalexszn
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here

First year of being married and already in the brink of divorce

My husband (30M) and I (25F) recently got married after 5 years of LDR. We’re an interracial couple. He’s from Europe and I’m from Asia. Things were already pretty rocky before we even got married but it just seemed like the best decision at the time. We didn’t live together for more than 2 months prior to getting married. I love him still, don’t get me wrong. The problems in our relationship just seem to stack on top of each other. This will be a long retelling of our issues so get ready.

First, he’s been suffering from a plethora of illnesses since the start of the pandemic. He has photosensitivity (extremely eye sensitivity to light of any sort), misophonia (sound sensitivity) and just recently, he started having excruciating back pains. So you can already tell how much suffering he has endured for years now. I love him dearly, but he can’t control his reaction to everything. He gets heated up and critical about things. We can’t watch tv or even look at phone screens cause it’s too bright for him. I can’t make sudden noises cause it startles him and makes his ear painful. We don’t even have dinners at home because chewing sounds and cutleries hitting the plates trigger his misophonia. On top of that, he barely does the weight lifting in the house, literally. He can’t carry heavy stuff cause his back hurts so bad afterwards. Mind you, we live in a block of flats and we’re on the 5th floor so carrying stuff up and down the stairs can be a real struggle for him. These are all real pain and we’ve visited the doctors so many times. We don’t know why he has all these illnesses. It just came out of nowhere.

Second, I want to go home. I miss my family so much that it hurts. I moved from Asia to Europe to be with him and meet his family for the first time. This is my dream to be here and boy was I wrong. I didn’t know I would miss my mum so much. We’re really close and I miss our bond so much. I told him I wanted to settle down in my country, and he hated the idea. We got into this huge fight just last night. He told me I should just go home and be with my “mommy” as he sarcastically said it. He said that apparently being with my family for 24 years had not been enough for me and I should just be with my mum forever. He doesn’t understand the concept of being Asian and having really tight knit relationship with their families. Of course, I feel that it’s a bit selfish to ask that from him. He travelled 3 times to my country just to be with me when we were still LDR. He has sacrificed a lot – his job, his money, his life. And he said that he’s not dropping this flat that he loves so much and his life once again to appease me. It hurts a lot when he said that but I understand. He feels that he’s a failure for bringing me to Europe and I’m not even happy here. He said a lot of hurtful things and I did too. He wanted me to come back to my country to be with my mum but took it back when I finally gathered up the courage to call my family in the middle of the night. I seriously thought that was it. I thought we're done for.

Right now, I’m in shambles. I love this man a lot but this is not how I imagined it would be. I’m finally here in Europe where I dreamed I would be a few years ago. He said I don’t appreciate it enough and many people would want to be in my position. My heart is torn cause I just want to be with him and with my mum nearby. I want to have his love and comfort and my mum’s presence in my life. I surely sound like a mama’s girl right now but I can’t help but feel this way.

Another thing is that I wanna spend more time with him. We’re both introverts and work from home. I realized that me needing his company so much is my way of coping with the fact that I miss my family. I’ve lived with my mum and my sister all my life and I miss that feeling. I miss that there are people walking around the house but now it’s just the two of us, working in separate rooms. I told him that he doesn’t spend that much time with me, he doesn’t watch movies with me, he doesn’t have dinners with me and he took it as an offense. Telling me how insufficient I make him feel.

I know he tries. He’s sick and he can’t do all of that. I’m just tired of overthinking our relationship. I’m tired that I have to ask these things. Something in me silently wishes that the guy I dated in the first 3 years of our relationship would just come back, without all his illnesses. He was the kindest, most wonderful man, almost like a dream. Somewhere along the way, that guy disappeared, and I miss him so much.

I guess I also just wanted to rant here. I don’t tell anyone about our relationship problems. I also don’t have any friends that I can hang out with in this city. I don’t speak their language and I just feel like an alien here… I just want some clarity in all of this. Maybe some words of encouragement, maybe a way to fix this, or maybe just someone to tell me that I have to end it.

Tl/dr: Constantly fighting and marriage is slowly collapsing. I want to settle down in my home country but he wants to stay.

submitted by /u/ConsiderationThis880
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here

The 3 Zodiac Signs Who Want An Exclusive Relationship During The Moon Conjunct Venus On October 25, 2022 - YourTango

The 3 Zodiac Signs Who Want An Exclusive Relationship During The Moon Conjunct Venus On October 25, 2022  YourTango

* This article was originally published here

My (18, NB) friends (varying ages and genders, 17-18) are still friends with my ex (M, 18) and it bothers me.

I know you can’t control people, obviously. They can be friends with whoever they want but it doesn’t change the fact that i’m still hurt and confused.

For context, my ex was a cheating, abusive, and narcissistic jerk. These friends even agree to this and often call him a jerk too, saying what he did to me was awful and unforgivable and they’ll “protect” me if he ever tries anything.

The problem is… for the amount of shit talking they do they STILL hang out with him. They’ll literally tell me to my face “Ugh he was such a jerk today, so sorry you had to go through that” or “He threw up at the party we went to without you, he’s so stupid.” THEN WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH HIM?? Literally WHY are you agreeing and telling me these things along with my complaints and still hang out w him. It comes off as so fake and disrespectful to me.

These people are my only friends but it’s so aggravating to come out of a vent session about my feelings and codependency on him for them to go “I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that. Just know we fully support and seen everything he did to you if he tries to do anything” and then two hours later see them playing together on overwatch.

(If you want an example of how shitty my ex was, overwatch is a perfect example. When me and my ex were dating I begged him to play overwatch w me, I even offered to buy it. He said it was completely stupid and I’m stupid for liking it. Now that we’re broken up, hes now playing it because he saw his favorite twitch streamer play it.)

I asked one of them, let’s call David, why they still talk after he explained how pathetic my ex was. He said he “felt bad” and “didn’t want to be mean.” But what I don’t understand is they have the nerve to say all they want behind is back and then acting all buddy buddy with me. Who knows if they’re doing the same to me.

I feel so hurt yet numb at the same time. I just want to start over with new friends and a new environment but it’s impossible.

It’s so frustrating that the only thing I can do is sit through it. I’m currently in online community college right now and it is so lonely and I’d be even more lonely without them. I have no way of making more friends for at least two years till I’m able to transfer. My best bet is dealing with it but I don’t know if I can take it anymore. What do I even do?

TL:DR! My friends still talk to my ex despite constantly dogging on him and agreeing he was horrible to me and his horrible to them. I have no idea why they would do this. I’m also confused and left wondering if I’m better off being lonely, or if there’s any other options?

submitted by /u/susiesvent
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here

My bf doesn't do anything all day. He has no job and doesn't go to school. Idk how much longer I can put up with this.

(Throwaway because he follows my main)

So my bf and I are both 18, which makes us technically adults but really we're both basically teenagers, since I am still in high school, he should be, and we both still live with our parents. We've been dating for a little over a year, and we're long distance. (Only have seen each other irl a couple times.)

I love my bf so much and he's perfect to me in almost every way. He's a huge support system to me and I don't think I can handle losing him. But at the same time this has been going on way too long and idk how much longer I'll put up with it.

He has no job. He doesn't go to school. He's not even really working on a GED, and overall he seems to have basically no motivation.

His parents pulled him out of school in mid-9th grade because of COVID then just never sent him back. (His parents SUCK and do absolutely nothing to help motivate him.) He did an online school program for one school year, but after that summer just never went back to it and he hasn't been in school the entire time we've been dating. He keeps saying he's going to get a GED but he hasn't even studied for it and he doesn't have any way to pay for one, so who knows if that will ever even happen.

He doesn't work and never has. He claims he's looking for a job but I don't know how much effort he's * actually * putting into it.

So, between dropping out of school, having no job, and not actually working towards a GED, he does nothing. He sits around and plays video games and talks to me, that's it.

I go to school, work, and have a lot more responsibilities/chores at home. I'm actually putting in effort every day and it sucks to do all that then call him and realize he has zero responsibility. Im just so tired of him doing literally nothing at all, it doesn't feel fair to me since I'm actually putting in effort.

And now at this point I'm worried about him holding me back. I'm ready to start my adult life in less than a year. I have money saved up, I'm about to graduate high school (I'm graduating half a year early), and I have plans for a career. But him? He probably won't even have a high school diploma or GED by the end of the year, and he has zero money at all and no job in sight.

I'm certainly not paying for everything. So I'd have to put living with him off until he saves enough money which at this point will take forever. And I'm not about to be 18/19 with him still not at the very least graduated from high school. We. Need. Money. And he needs to help make some of it. It isn't realistic to be able to move on with my life like this.

Also, it just bothers me. He talks about my job and school like they're so easy, and he doesn't value the hard work I'm putting in at all. I'm tired of him acting like he has any ground to stand on even remotely, because he has literally zero clue what responsibility is.

I know that if it gets to the point where I am graduated and moving onto trade school and he still hasn't even gotten the job, I'm gonna have to leave him. It'll suck and probably be the worst Day of my entire life but I really can't stand to be with someone like that.

But the way he talks it seems like he's actively looking for a job and he'll get his GED as soon as he has money for it. That's what he says, and the way he talks about it makes me want to believe him. And if he just got a job and started saving money, everything will be okay. Our relationship would be basically perfect.

But it's been a year now and still nothing has changed. I don't know what the right thing to do is, should I wait around to see if he does it or just go now? I don't know.

It's such a hard thing to deal with because I love him so much, but this is causing me a ton of stress and realistically I can't keep going on for much longer.

Yes, I have talked to him about this. I bring it up all the time, at least a couple times a week. But he always just tells me he's trying and no one will hire him.

PLEASE HELP ME. What do I do??

TLDR; my bf has no job and doesn't go to school because he dropped out. He claims to be trying but after a year there's no change and I can't wait around for much longer.

submitted by /u/throwaway047473
[link] [comments]

* This article was originally published here