My (29M) Girlfriend (25F) Wants Kids and Says I'm Wasting Her Time & I'm Selfish

I have been with my girlfriend for a few years.

The topic of kids has come up a few times throughout our relationship. I have always stated that I don't want kids now and that I'm not sure if I will want them in the future. She has never had a problem with this that she has expressed to me.

I am starting to think that she may not have taken me seriously when I said I wasn't sure if I would want them. My opinion hasn't changed; I am still unsure as to whether or not I want kids. I see it as a very important decision that I don't want to make until I am absolutely sure, and I simply don't know if I ever will be.

The topic came up late last night and continued a bit today. She has suddenly expressed to me that though she also doesn't want kids now, but she is 100% certain that she will want kids in the future because it's the "normal" thing to do. She also said it's "just traditional" and asked me "What would your parents think if you told them?" I said they would probably be disappointed but they'd understand it's my decision. I think this is true.

She has also said that my opinion is "too unstable" — I think she just can't handle that I am unsure about the topic and wants a concrete answer right now.

Finally, she called me "selfish" and "self-centred" because I don't know if I want children. She can't explain why she thinks this, she just does. She is concerned that we might get to our 30s or so and I still won't want kids, and this would be "wasting [her] time".

Actually, I completely understand that. I can't see the future; I just don't know how I'll feel in a few years. Also, as a man, my biological clock is obviously far, far less of a factor than hers. Since she is 100% certain that she wants kids, it *is* a waste of her time to stay with me. I understand and respect her opinion in wanting kids at some point, I just don't share it. The idea of tradition doesn't mean much to me.

The thing I take issue with is that she called me "selfish". I really don't think that's the case. I'm not above giving up my time and energy for someone else; I do it for us frequently, and I really don't begrudge that at all. I value our relationship and try to put work into it. I just think that kids are a far bigger investment of love, care, time, and money, etc. Raising kids basically *becomes* your life for at least a decade. I don't feel an urge to sacrifice everything else in my life for that.

To be honest though, I don't hold strong opinions about rising populations & humanity's impact on the Earth, though I understand that this could be a huge factor in why others might decide to go child-free. This may be one way in which I could be considered "selfish" — my reasons for not knowing whether I want children *are* personal, rather than societal.

However, I still see the benefits to having kids. I do think it could be great to raise a child, see them grow, share my hobbies with them, see myself reflected in them to some degree, etc...

Anyway, my girlfriend and I live together and I love her, but I don't want to waste her time either. I feel like we're circling the drain at the moment with other recent arguments about unrelated topics, and a breakup may be inevitable.

I just wanted to get this off my chest and maybe ask for advice as to how I can deal with this. I suppose I'm also looking for validation that I'm not actually a selfish person, or at least that it's okay to be selfish, or something...

TL;DR: Although I have always been honest about my uncertainty around having children, my girlfriend seems not to have taken my opinion seriously all this time. She thinks I'm being selfish and that I might be wasting her time. I feel that she is casting a lot of judgement on me about this and I feel pretty upset and bad about it.

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Relationship advice

Hi I'm a 15 year old guy and I was just wondering if I could have some advice on getting out of the friend zone, I have only asked out 2 girls before and both said they just wanted to remain as friends and I have respected their decision and still remain as friends to them, and a girl who I have been chatting to for weeks and where I thought I was dropping decent hints towards her she still only sees me as a close friend which she has said many times while she talks about guys she is talking to currently, I just want to know if I'm at fault here and is there anything I can do to fix it

I also value my friendship o have with her so I most likely won't ask her out Thanks

tl/dr need relationship advice on getting out of the friend zone hopefully

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partner of two years left me while I was sleeping

Me and my partner have been together for almost 2 years and i'll have to admit not everything has been easy. We both have mental issues and sometimes that comes in between us. In the past when we couldnt agree on something he would threaten to break up with me until I begged him to stay or he would apologize after and come back to me. I would get upset that everytime something about me bothered him, he would just blow up and start saying mean and hurtful things like, that he "doesn't care about my meaningless problems" Or is "happy when I smoke weed so I shut up"

Even about a month ago he said he wanted to be alone away from me for a while to see if he still wanted me, so I let him and then when a week had passed he was very apologetic and said so many nice things. I used to have to try really hard to get him to go out with me or spend time with me or even see me as a priority and then all of the sudden he wants to come over all the time, do stuff together and honestly I haven't had the time to process the other times he's hurt me. And I'll admit I've grown a bit bitter towards him, i cant let myself fully love him anymore because I was too scared to be hurt like that again.

But yesterday was the kicker, we started drinking and everything was fine, I was really tired and a bit grumpy, I said something about him paying for booze next time (booze isnt cheap, high gov tax) ultimately I didn't care that much I just dont want to become a financial pushover. He got really upset at it and the gave me the drink and said "you drink it then!" I didnt want it so i gave it back and got mildly annoyed. Not too long after I fell asleep.

I woke up at 3 am with him missing, I checked my phone and saw he left me three long messages saying he's done with me and that I'm really annoying, always complaining and that he doesnt know why he spends time with me at all and said he's "been thinking about it for months" The sencond message got even meaner saying that I had become a privileged b**ch and that he deserves better. He said "There is a reason why no one wants to hang around with u, even ur family. The problem is clearly u and not me and i know u know that, but yet you dont do anything about and have the audecity to complain about litteraly anything" Then he started telling me that I don't really have ASD and that I just use it as an excuse (I have only ever had an informal diagnosis in childhood) Called me pathetic and added a middle finger gif at the end of the message.

I honestly have no clue what to think of this and haven't heard anything from him since. I wonder if I am actually that terrible. Altough the part about my family not wanting to hang out with me or friends is not true. I choose to be alone most of the time because I prefer it. If anyone can help me with just putting things in to perspective I'd be grateful. I've been anxious all morning.

TL;DR: partner of two years has a habit of saying really mean things and then comes back to apologize. He broke up with me over very mean text messages after leaving me at 2 am when I was sleeping.

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I've been ghosted [26, f] by a guy [28, m] I fell for and seemed really nice. Stunned and shocked.

I am really lost for words right now and in disbelief. I have experienced various abusive relationships and men who have been quite horrible to me. I met this guy in July who seemed like a dream come true. He was so lovely with a kind heart. Always checking up on me, concerned about how I was and really caring. We spent a lot of time together over the past few months and I couldn't believe that I had finally met a guy who seemed to be genuine and sweet. Well all of a sudden yesterday, I called him and he didn't pick up. I called on no caller ID, he answered and once he heard my voice, he said "I'll call you back I'll call you back" then swiftly hung up. I called later that day and he declined the call. I sent him texts asking if he's okay and he had read all of them with no response.

I am really shocked because this is very unlike him and I am confused. I don't recognise him and I feel as if it's a different person. I thought that I had finally found the one and then it came to this. I am very hurt right now and trying to stop myself from crying. Has anyone ever experienced this before? I don't know how I can recover from this and trust a man ever again. I've lost all faith and hope. Late last year a guy I thought was nice disappeared too, and it's happened all over again. I don't know how to process this :(

TL;DR Have been ghosted out of nowhere by a man I fell for and thought was really sweet and caring to me. Shocked and hurt. We haven't had any problems or arguments. How to heal?

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How do I (29f) get my husband (29) to stop being mad over everything?

we have been married for 10 years, I'm feeling stressed to be at home cause every day it's a new verbal argument and it eventually turns into me raising my voice at him and slamming a door in his face. The arguments consist of anything he can complain about like

A Facebook group i belong too to help women catch cheaters.

Having my child's, friends- parent numbers to work out sleep overs and play days for the boys (the man has full custody of his kids, so I have no choice but to have the dad's number) My husband is gone on weekends so i can't have him make the plans.

kids having friends over when Hes not home and i need to ask

someone said I was beautiful, and I replied thank you

an old male coworker from 2014 reached out to me and said it's been a long time it's time to have lunch soon! (I never opened it or responded)

I have male clients, I'm a hairdresser.

I do schoolwork while Hes's home (I'm working on my masters, and he can help me with the kids)

I'm a girl scout leader and boy scout leader (there are no scouts in our area giving my kids a chance to be a part of anything so i stepped up and formed troops)

And i went and signed up as a chaperone for my kindergartener's school trip (they needed more, or they couldn't go.)

Thats only from this week

this morning I blew up as he walked out to go to work when he said about my phone and how he went through it while I was sleeping, and he saw the Facebook group and my old coworker messaged me and it was in spam. I'm not even mad he went through my phone he can look anytime he wants. its the fact of him being mad over something i didn't see or reply to, or being mad at a group I belong to, to help women. How can I get him to stop arguing with me all the time? am i really being that shady like he says?

TL;DR My husband keeps fighting with me on things I feel like are not worth fighting about

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i need some guidance on my broken relationship

Hey ladies and gents

Im abit stuck in limbo here and need some guidance.

So to cut a long story short iv been dating a girl for nearly a year, at the start of the relationship she was pushing it too quick, after a month of dating i had her and her family questioning me about why i haven't made it official yet and also very early in lets say about 2 months she was asking me if i love her and i kind of felt forced to say it.

During our time together she has displayed many red flags which made me question her loyalty to me, she was liking pics of other men, she had sneaky convos with some guy on snap chat and then deleted the message thread in front of me, lied about deleting it but then when i threatened to walk knowing what i saw and then she confessed but said there was nothing wrong being said in the messages. She also came home from working in a club with a guys number wrote on paper which i found by her bed. The list just goes on.

By this time i was in love with her but lost attraction and sexual desire due to feeling disrespected and although i knew i loved her i didnt leave and stayed to work on things.

Over the course of the last couple months this changed me as a person, i felt insecure, not wanted and not respected, we argue about the smallests of things and disagree on certain things. She has a moody personality too which she admits too.

This time round, last week she ended it with me saying she doesnt feel the same, she says romantic side of things isnt gone completely but the feelings aren't as strong. I said ok and let her walk and didnt contact her for 3 days. During that time i reflected on everything, i felt like she abandoned me real quick but when i felt like she did i stayed to fix it but i do feel like when things were good they were really good and i didnt want to lose her so decided to fight a little for the relationship.

I spoke to her yesterday by video calling and we both agreed we have pushed eachother away, although shes willing to see if we can try one last time but she she wants to go back to dating and not in a relationship. She said dating is all she can offer. The convo was left at we'll go out on dates but theres no guarantee the flame will relight, we're meeting up tomorrow.

At the time of video calling her, fixing things is what I wanted but after thinking and feeling a real negative energy on the call i kind of feel im more interested in fixing it than she is. I feel im fighting for her to be attracted to me again and its making me feel like this isnt the right thing to do. Personally i dont want to go back to dating, i dont want to go about things wondering if she is attracted to me again. I feel like she doesnt value me although i bought more to the table than she ever did.

Should i let her go and say i dont want to go back to dating, we either fix the relationship or we don't or say that after thinking im also willing to go on a few dates but if i dont feel the energy from her then i think she was right about ending it?

Tl;dr Broke up with ex, she lost feelings but is willing to go back to dating to see if we can relight the flame. Should i leave or stay.

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Parker: Long-standing relationships key to success of Riddell Kurczaba Architecture - Calgary Herald

Parker: Long-standing relationships key to success of Riddell Kurczaba Architecture  Calgary Herald

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