Ex came back after reading the book I wrote

I (25F) met a guy (27M) almost 2 years ago. We were FWB. I fell in love. He met another girl and broke up. Then he came back last summer and left again. On Saturday night I received a text from him after a few months without talking to each other. He told me he had bought my book, that he read it and realized how he messed up with me. He wants to see me because he has questions. I told him I was busy with work until the first week of February but that I’ll answer his questions. I went through “complicated” things with men when I was younger. He knows it because he was my first relationship since what happened. There’s a mention of that in the book. I’m afraid he wants to talk about it. But I don’t get why he’d want to see me again just to talk about that. Oh and I’m still in love with him. What am I supposed to do with that? I’m so lost and confused.

tldr ; my ex who ghosted me wants to see me after reading my book

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I'm worried about our future together, am I right to be concerned? - RE Money

I've been with my girlfriend for around 6 years now, but at this point I'm struggling mentally as I really don't know if I'm overthinking things, especially as I was diagnosed with Autism and OCD during my late adult life. Here's the thing... Every weekend I drive 25 miles to pick her up, 25 miles to bring her back to mine to spend time with me, 25 miles back again for her work beginning of the week and 25 miles back to mine. She does drive as both her and her mum use the same car, but at no point as she ever come down to see me. ( I do what I do to spend time with her as much as possible ).

When my Car broke down I asked if she would come down to me, she was less than forthcoming and it was put off to the point my car was fixed and it went back to me picking her up again. But something has happened recently which has really hit home. A friend of her family recently passed away and for someone living at home with her parent, does a small job and gets benefits *at the time* she was given around £150,000.

Visiting her again this time in the week, she promptly asked me if I could "DRIVE" her to a town down her way which was around 20 miles, so she could sell something. I said no I couldn't, as that would mean I'd have to drive a total of over 100 miles in one day and why she couldn't use her car. I asked if she would pay for petrol and I'd happily do it, and all she said was I'd buy you lunch. Even her mum was a little put off by her driving the car. I mean seriously what does it take for her to drive? And what's wrong with helping with petrol, is £150,000 not enough?

She ended up driving because she had to sell something and I put it to her why doesn't she get her own car! She'd have the freedom to drive anywhere she wouldn't have to quibble over who was using the car at the time and she'd be able to visit me on occasions of a weekend ( We'd take it in turns ). The result was a resounding "NO" because she's put all money into other accounts ( to make interest off within the year ) and ONLY has £12,000 in the bank.

I'm really struggling myself financially, every time I have savings it's gone on bills and repairs, I pay all those miles of driving because I care about her and want to see her, I drive around my area too when I pick her up, 90% of the time I pay for dinner. Even though she has on occasions in the past asked if I wanted money towards something ( never petrol ) I'd say NO. Yet if I said the same to her, say she bought lunch or dinner she'd say oh just give me such and such money. Anything she does buy I'm always waiting for the just give me some money.

In fact there was one point she saw something really nice on Ebay and said would you like this? I said yes that looks cool, she said ok you can pay me back the £3 later. I've even been told I should GET another job if I'm struggling. While she was doing a small job, living with her parent(s), making money off commissions at times and on benefits ( medical reasons ).

I have around £1000 in the bank, get around £500- £700 a month and that's to go on such things as council tax, electric bills, food, water bills, internet, mobile phone, car bills and petrol. I spend around £30-40 a week on petrol. And can only afford to have the heating on at the weekends ( it costs around £11 a day by 7am in the morning ( 70's storage heaters ). While she lives with her parent(s), pays a little towards upkeep(?), has £150,000 or was it £12,000 now and is worried about spending any of it.

Her dad was a **** I overheard him saying be careful of that "bloke of yours" when you get the Money, yet I've NEVER asked for any of it, In fact even in the past before all this you'd hear me say I'll buy this I don't want your money. How can someone with £1000 in the bank be struggling as much as someone with £150,000 who lives at home with her parent, I don't understand it :(. I'm really worried about our future together, I love her so so much. But being Autistic this is pushing me to the brink!

**TL;DR; : Girlfriend has come into a lot of Money, but is it wrong to expect more financial input into the relationship especially when she acts as if she is struggling?**.

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* This article was originally published here

My (23F) LDR Boyfriend (25M) Breaks Up With Me and It's a Lot More Than Just a Breakup, I don't know what to do

A couple days ago me (23F) and my boyfriend (25M) just ended our long distance relationship. Just to give a background information we met on a dating app back at 2020, we had communication on a daily basis, and we began meeting each other in person in early 2022. Since then, we met each other a couple times, mostly him visiting me to my country, until December 2022 (our last trip).

Along the way we had a lot of arguments. I caught him once talking too over-friendly with a girl friend back from his uni - he denies it at first, telling me that he was just saying happy birthday to her, but long story short the chat was more than that. He got a bit nostalgic, used a lot of emojis on his chat - which made me jealous and disappointed. A couple weeks before coming over to my country to see me for the first time, he was also traveling to several countries as well and this is where the other problems start to arise. He also met a girl during this trip - in which he exchanged IG and phone number, but when I confronted him about it about this girl, he proceeded to block me from all of his social medias. I was reluctant to meet him at this point, but he apologized and convinced me to 'meet for the weekend to see where things go', since we've been together for almost 2 years. Even a couple days before meeting me, and even after I finally bought my tickets, after unblocking me there's another girl on his IG (which he said she was the one wanting to take pictures with him since he's a tourist), in which I was feeling extremely devastated. Months after, during our trip at his home country, and also after meeting his family too, I also found out that he's been talking to an ex coworker that he had, and he's been maintaining the chat, intensely and on a personal level, with her for over 6 months. They were exchanging photos with each other, even on the point after meeting me for the first time. He said he was sorry. In the last couple months, he'd also mention a specific female work colleague at his current place a lot of times, even meeting 1-on-1 for drinks, cycling trips etc, and he'd tell me to be okay with this new boundary of his.

I hold on to all these issues all along, since there's always a new girl everywhere he goes, until to a certain point I can't take it anymore and I became explosive. I'd throw temper tantrums, cry, and it shatters both of us. I, myself, has never felt this much "rage" and I kept being permissive since he kept giving me reassurance that none of these events will ever going to happen again. At times of angry, sometimes I'd also sometimes become shut myself down - I won't respond to anything that he'd say/ask, sometimes I'd walk out. Sometimes he'd walk out too, leaving me.

After these events I began to realize I became more interrogative, overthink, having more trust issues especially when he's out, and I do bring up these past events in arguments, which I know must've hurt him too in the process.

Weeks later after our last trip, which was a couple days ago, he finally came to a conclusion that we should break up because I'm still the same person and how I also cannot take his new boundaries that he wants to feel free in the relationship. Hours later after we broke up, he removed me from all social medias I know, except for WhatsApp. Which is justifiable due to breaking up, but then I realized there's a girl that he follows right after removing all the traces of us. It broke me to pieces.

Need advice(s).. What I should do?

TL;DR! What should I do after LDR breakup

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* This article was originally published here

How we met: ‘She was really intelligent – and the most beautiful woman I’d ever met’

Tertia, 58, and Adam, 57, met at an opera conference in Philadelphia in 1997. They now live together in London with their daughter

When Tertia was awarded a Churchill fellowship in 1997 to research music education in primary schools, she was delighted. The fund gave her the chance to travel to the US for eight weeks. “As an opera singer, it was a really exciting project,” she says. “There were lots of opera education programmes in the US at the time, which is why I wanted to go there and explore. I began writing to different companies to find out more about their work.”

As part of her project planning, she contacted Adam, who was the director of education at the San Diego Opera. “I asked him what was on and where I could stay if I visited,” she says. “He was very polite in his response, but didn’t answer my specific questions, which made me think he was a bit of an idiot. I later realised they just had so much on, there wasn’t a specific time for me to go.”

Continue reading...

* This article was originally published here

Girl I’m talking to slept with someone else, do I drop her?

Girl (20F) I’ve been talking to for about a month told me she hooked up with a guy at a party a couple nights ago and idk how to handle it.

We talked about how we don't think we should be exclusive yet about a week ago, since we live far from each other, also we hadn't been talking that long yet wanted to give it some more time.

Since that convo I feel like things have excelated between us, started feeling more like we were dating or should be exclusive at least. But we never had a conversation about it. She always talked about how upset she’d be if she found out I got with another girl, and how she's not interested in talking to anyone else etc.

She called me yesterday asking if we were exclusive, and if I want to be exclusive. I told her we weren't officially since we never had another follow up convo about it but that we probably should, which resulted in her bursting into tears and confessing that she got with someone else. But that it didn't mean anything and blah blah blah.

I'm pretty upset with her but I almost feel like I shouldn't be since like I said we weren't technically exclusive. Now she's telling me she wants to be exclusive, but idk it feels weird to me to just be like "yup alright, you f**ked another guy and I found out I didn't like that so I guess we're dating now"

I want to give it a chance, but part of me feels like I should just drop her and not potentially waste my time. Any advice?

TL;DR: The girl I’m talking to hooked up with someone else, but we weren’t officially exclusive yet so idk what to do.

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* This article was originally published here

I'm (24M) stuck in a situation-ship (21F) with best friends vibe and no intimacy

Hi folks,

I'm virgin,24M and I'm stuck in this very complex long distance relationship (21F) and at the moment I really don't know what to do anymore.

Full story:

I had a crush on a friend of one of my friends on Instagram and we occasionally chatted there till we got more serious and then we started to video call each other 24/7 for one whole month. She was giving me all kinds of sexy hints and also we talked about everything like we are best friends. We both live in Europe so I travelled there (3h) to finally meet her. But she was very cold in person and despite giving a hint about even showering together in the video calls, she didn't even allow me to touch her hands. I was so in love but I couldn't do anything so for one week I stayed there and literally did nothing but just go on dates with her and on each date she just kept talking about her exes and traumas and problems. When I asked her about us, she became angry and very defensive about it and said "we just met", And I was thinking to myself "then what about the whole fucking month of 24/7 video calls"

Long story short, I returned home and we're still going on everyday video calls and it's been 3 months. I help her with everything and Tbh sometimes when she is in a good mood she does seem to be interested in me, but she always talks about her problems, her depression and her past toxic relationships. I feel lost but also I love her and I know that she is really going through a really hard time now and she's suicidal, I'm always hoping that if she eventually comes out of this mess, we will become emotionally and sexually active. But I'm getting tired of waiting forever and also I don't think it's morally right to leave somebody when they're in their worst situation but that's also ruining my mental health.

She doesn't even give me a single compliment while I'm showering her with compliments and love and she always talks about her past sexual experiences and one-night stands with other boys which also makes me insecure because I feel like I'm not attractive enough for her that after all this time we still didn't have anything close to sexual. I even asked her recently whether she has friend-zoned me or not but she said no and she said we need to just wait until eventually we become bf/gf and don't want to put a label on it.

I don't know how much I should wait because I'm very emotional so I'm suffering at the moment. Am I really the one in a hurry?

I skipped lots of details because it's already very long but feel free to ask me any questions.

TL;DR: I'm in a very complex LDR with a girl with lots of personal problems for 3 months, I also met and stayed with her for one week, 2 months ago after a month of 24/7 video calls with lots of flirts but she didn't allow me to touch her hands in person. Nowadays she gives me a best friend vibe instead of a girlfriend because she always talks about her problems, past sexual experiences and one-night stands with other boys, and basically everything but doesn't give me any compliments or flirts nor hints of anything sexual/romantic so I'm getting tired but I feel like that I can't leave while she's in her worst situation.

Thanks a lot!

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26M struggling to keep up with 26F financial situations

Hi all, as the title says I’m struggling with money at the money due to being made redundant a missing a few months of income. I have since landed another job but am yet to recoup any loss of earnings. My gf doesn’t live a lavish lifestyle by any means but she doesn’t know how to budget. She works full time as do I, there always comes a time where she asks for money to help pay towards things - while I’m all for helping her where I can, some of these expenses are completely unnecessary (expensive supermarkets vs cheaper alternatives, tattoos, eating out and other luxuries).

I find myself having to go without just to send over the odd £50 to her, it’s starting to make me resentful as I’ve had to sacrifice basics to help her pay for her own expenses.

I’m not sure how to tackle this as I don’t want to seem like I don’t want to help, but when there’s no money in the pot it puts me in an awkward situation!

TL;DR girlfriends spending can be out of our budget and I’m having to pay the difference

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* This article was originally published here