My Ex (X) Is Mad ab Something I Did After We Broke Up

Recently (about 2mo ago) my(23F) ex(23M) and I split up after about a year and some change. It was for the best as the relationship was toxic for the both of us. I'm horrible at breakups and probably have an anxious attachment style. For 3 weeks I did the whole nonstop crying and trying to reach out and be friends and even at times asking if we could just work it out. I know, bad OP. We would text, but no calls or hanging out. I asked if that would ever change, and he said he never wanted to see or speak to me again in his life. This was my sign that I was holding on to something that was clearly way beyond dead. I downloaded some dating apps and started meeting people, just to prove to myself that I could, and that I didn't just have to sit at home alone and sad. Around this time, an old fwb(Y) that I've known for years and had been friends with during X and I's relationship, started wanting to hang out. I kind of knew what was up and I told him I wasn't really looking for sex or anything else, but that we could hang out. One night, about 6 weeks after the breakup, things were getting steamy and I just thought "this is fine." It wasn't and I stopped it after like 2 seconds because I didn't feel ready. Some time later, X reached out to hook up. He directly asked me if I had been with anyone else and I was honest. The night progressed as he had planned, even after I told him, and we honestly had a really good talk about why our relationship had been so toxic. We both admitted we still had some unresolved feelings, and he admitted that he was trying to seem over it the whole time, to create distance. We've been talking for the last two weeks, and all of a sudden he says that he's so pissed that I had sex with Y so soon, and that it makes it worse that it was someone he didn't like while we were dating. For additional details, Y and I had a brief fwb stint a couple summers ago, have known each other for 8 years, and while X and I dated I saw Y once, in a group setting. I'm kind of pissed too. Pissed that he couldn't admit how he was feeling and instead told me he never wanted to see or speak to me again. What was I supposed to do, hold a candle for it forever? Do I wish that I hadn't had sex with Y? Sure thing, for myself. However, if X had been honest about how he felt, and talked to me about it instead of saying he never wanted to see or speak to me again, it would never have even happened. I'm just anxious and sad all over again. I know that the relationship should probably stay over just based on the feelings this is causing for myself but I uhhhhh am very bad at endings.

TLDR: my ex and I were thinking about getting back together, but he said he's angry that I had sex with someone else while we were broken up.

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* This article was originally published here

How do I (21F) tell my parents about my boyfriend (23m)?

So I've been dating this guy for 4 months and it's going well. I already met his parents and his friends, but my parents don't even know that I'm dating somebody. They're suspecting it, but I always kind of lie about it to them. I don't know why I'm so scared to tell them. I guess I just never even told them that I have a crush before or anything and it's so weird to bring this up. I feel like they would start looking at me differently if they knew that I'm being romantic/sexual with someone lol. And of course, I feel like they would judge him. How do I get over this fear? It's gettting hard to keep this relationship a secret.

TL;DR: I've been dating a guy for 4 mnoths and I'm scared to tell my parents about him. What do I do ?

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Mine (F38) isn't comfortable around me and I don't want to break up, but it's the best option at the cost of ending up like the bad guy

Before me, my partner had never been with a woman. We have been together for 5 years and have always had a good relationship. She didn't tell anyone about our relationship, and she didn't tell her children about my real relationship. To the children, my relationship with her mother was just friends.

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My partner refuses to organize anything, and one day when she sent me a photo of the two of them together, I told her that I would appreciate it if she told me they were going out so I could join. My partner gets mad and says to me that sometimes I make her nervous because I don't know how to present myself in public and those people are in a different category than me. I was rightfully annoyed and told her it would be fine if I didn't meet the girl, but there was no need to attack my character.

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From this I understood that it all had to do with the fact that she wasn't used to me as a woman and wasn't ready to accept it. I told her so. TLDR partner feels uncomfortable around me but blames me for it and is not ready to accept the fact that she is in a relationship with a woman.

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I (25F) think about endings things everyday after i broke up with my bf (35M)

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, 8 months ago and i've been thinking weekly, if not daily to end things. I really dont find joy anymore in anything, my favourite part of the day is when i sleep and i dont feel anything anymore. I cant stop blaming myself for everything I did wrong in the relationship, for being ungrateful, unexperienced while my ex is happy with someone else.

I just cant take it anymore. I cant forget the life i had before with my ex and i keep telling myself maybe if i would have been more patience, more understanding, less spoiled. I know it has more to do with myself, because im not happy with my life, but i dont think i ll ever come to he level of happiness i achieved with my ex, before starting to fight w him. He was my first boyfriend, and he was everything i wanted at first, i really thought he was a gift from God and i was so happy i found someone with whom i could be happy and who would take care of me, unlike my parent's relationship.

Im tired of living with this weight on my chest, im crying everyday and its exhausting for me and those around me.

Tl;dr: I (25F) think about endings things everyday after i broke up with my bf (35M)

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Unsure if I [21M] got rejected by her [21F], confusing signals

I [21M] have been talking to this woman [21F] whom I met online. We’ve been talking since sunday.

My plan was to ask her out, as the vibe has been good these last days. So that’s what I did yesterday. I asked if she wanted to go ice skating with me this Friday. She answered that she’s busy. I interpreted this as a rejection immediately as she didn’t give an alternative day, and answered: “No worries, let me know when you’re free”.

My reasoning behind sending this was that I did my part and that if she wanted to hang out in the future it has to come from her.

TL;DR: Asked a girl out and she is giving me unsure signals.

EDIT: She just answered that she loves ice skating, and is free Monday. Now I’m not sure anymore on how to interpret this.

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My (30M) gf (33F) is very insecure and I don't know how to save the relationship or if it's even possible

We've been together for almost 2 years and we have lived together for most of that time. Things moved really fast at the start. Despite being 30, it's my first relationship and I had no idea what's normal, expected, etc.

She has a lot of mental health trouble. She has PTSD from people in her life dying (said by her psychologist, not self diagnosed). She also has abandonment issues from when she was a kid and treated very badly by her parents. this leads to a lot of insecurity and jealousy.

Now, I am not a perfect person or bf by any means. In particular there are two main things that hurt my gf that I did. I watched porn and after a few months that we had a terrible discussion about it I caved in and watched it again. I don't think there's anything wrong with porn and the first time I could say we didn't have a discussion about it and didn't know, but the second time I knew it was not ok for her and still couldn't stop myself and it makes me very ashamed. I also confessed to her that I sometimes have thoughts about other women when thinking of sex. I confessed all these things to her myself, she didn't discover me. And I made sure to try and explain that they were only fantasies and I NEVER intended and never intend to have sex with another woman or anything of the sort.

So while you keep my failings in mind, I want to point out that many of the things below started before any of that even happened, so it's not just a kneejerk reaction to what I did.

She wants to spend every second together (even being in the same room but doing different things is not good enough for her, we have to be constantly interacting or doing something together at all times), doesn't want me to see people alone both because she doesn't want to spend time apart but also because she has to "control that I'm being proper" and I risk interacting with other girls without her being able to check on me. She doesn't want me to have female friends and interactions. She reads all messages from my phone. If she can't be there (mostly just when I am at work) and I am seeing someone, she wants real time accounts of exactly who I am talking with and what we are saying. When outside, she will randomly accusing me of looking at women all the time, most of the time I don't even know which woman she is referring to. It makes me feel very suffocated. Sometimes I PHYSICALLY feel like I'm drowning and I can't breathe.

So while I am not without fault, I feel like her requests and behaviour are over the line and my actions only gave justification to things she wanted or needed to have either way. And as I stated, they started before any of that even happened. I struggle with setting boundaries and she is very hard to set boundaries with. I have no idea how to approach a conversation about the subject. Every time I try she brings up the episodes above and she automatically wins.

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tl;dr

gf doesn't trust me partly because of things I did, but partly because of her mental health issues and makes unreasonable requests that I have been accepting because I feel guilty and I have no idea how to change it or if it's even possible

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Did my friend betray me?

Tldr: I asked my best friend to cut ties with her group of friends who have hurt me badly. She refused.

So to cut to the chase, there is this girl(Let's call her Sara) who I am really close friends with. We have known each other for a long time and in these times I had also developed feelings for her. After I communicated my feelings for her, I got friend zoned by her, took some time off and then became her good friend again. After that I felt really happy how this situation had turned out. All in all, at this point I considered her someone who I can trust a lot with almost anything. I had always helped her when she needed something and I knew I could rely on her for the same.

Anyways now here is what had happened. In our college mess, she, I, and a group of our mutual friends were having lunch. This other girl( let's call her Tricia) who was sitting next to me was also 'friends' with me for 6 years. (Emphasis on the friends part).

Anyways, in campus it is not common for guys and girls who are in a platonic relationship to often have some physical contact. I have seen Tricia have such contact with guys she deemed close friends. Having known her for 6 years and she having been really close to my family at one point I thought that she would also be ok with me having some physical contact with her.

I jokingly pocked her cheeks and she got uncomfortable. Then even after I apologized countless times she and her group of friends began to shout at me in front of everyone and called me a sexual harasser. All eyes of the entire lunch table were on me. I was humiliated to the core.

After that, I was pissed at them. I wanted to take some action against them for deliberately trying to hamper my image on campus but that is a different story.

Anyways, later I asked Sara to break all ties with Tricia and her group of friends who were all in on this bullying. Sara is also somewhat friends with that group.

She replied me on text saying that 'I can' t force her to act upon my will.' and that she 'has her won descretion.' She also said things like 'how her talking to them matters to me?'

I told her that I would have done the same for her if she was in my position and later asked her if she was still their friends. She hasn't replied to my last text but I am wondering if this was the right thing to ask.

Thoughts?

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* This article was originally published here