Girlfriend (24f) called me (27m) selfish for wanting to relax during our 10 days off

I have been with my gf for 3 years. The place I work closes over Christmas so everyone gets 10 days off. I have to complete exams through work and I have 3 in December. I have 3 study days a week from mid September until the week before the exam and this is alongside still doing my job the remaining 2 days of the work week. I had 2 exams last year and my stress levels got really high and by the end of it I was burnt out.

There are quite a lot of video games coming out in the autumn and winter that I'd normally buy straight away but I just won't have time to actually enjoy them so I'm planning on getting them over Christmas and playing them then. I live with my partner and for Christmas, she will be going to her parents for christmas eve and christmas day then coming home boxing day and I'll be doing the same with my parents. This gives me 7 days off. I was talking to my partner and said I'll book us a nice restaurant and cocktail bars for new years eve but apart from that I mentioned that I was thinking about us just spending the week relaxing in the apartment.

I'll have the games I want to play and my gf will have gotten games for her Nintendo switch, I'll have gotten some comic books to read and my gf will have gotten some other books to read so we'll have plenty to do. I explained that I know I'm going to be burnt out after the exams so I think a relaxing week might be nice for both of us since we rarely have time to just focus on our hobbies.

She said that's not what she wanted and she was thinking we could have a holiday for 3-4 nights. I refused and said there's no way I'm going to be up for going away when I can pretty much guarantee I'm going to be tired. I said we can possibly do a night away towards the end of the week but I want the majority to be relaxing since I'll need it. She said I was being selfish by refusing to consider her idea but I pointed out I've offered a compromise and explained why I don't want to be doing much over that week.

She just repeated that she thinks I'm being unfair and selfish by not going away for 3-4 nights since it would still leave me with 3 days to relax at home. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?

tl;dr I get 10 days off work over christmas and I have 3 work related exams in December that are going to be stressful so I mentioned to my gf about using our time off to just relax and enjoy what we get for christmas etc she said no because she wants to go away for 4 nights on a holiday. I tried to compromise by offering a night away but she said I was being selfish and unfair since I'd still have 3 days to relax if we went away for 4 nights. Does anyone have any advice on how they would handle this?

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My 26M boyfriend called me 20F fat

We’ve been arguing pretty much everyday for the past couple months he’s done with it and I’m done with it and it feels like we can never get on the same page, we break up frequently and he treats me horrible but I can’t find it in myself to leave him because of how low he’s brought my self worth. Tonight he called me fat ( I’m literally not fat I just have big boobs and a little tummy barely anything because I do work out ) he told me to “ shutup you fat b**** telling me he’s going to drag me out of the apartment by my hair if I don’t shutup I said I’m not fat while I’m balling my eyes out and he’s saying “ could’ve fooled me “. He just told me “ im tired of this negative relationship “ too and he’ll say the most hurtful things you could think of call me a “ dirty*hore” etc. I don’t know how to describe it but I feel stuck it feels like I’m losing so much more than just some random guy I’ve been with for 3 years, I’ve completely lost myself. it feels like before all of this he made me feel so protected and loved ( I didn’t have a dad growing up and the father figures I did have that my mom had around tall ended up leaving ) i don’t know if it’s related but it really feels like was healing me and also being older it’s so hard to leave him but I know I shouldn’t be with him. I have no self esteem left I’ve never felt so horrible in my life

and it feels like that was what he was planning to do all along ( it feels like at least )? in the beginning he was the perfect man but he was always talking about how I was too beautiful for him telling me he doesn’t deserve me he’d always tell me how beautiful I was etc. but overtime ( around a year) the compliments stopped and he started to say nice things like that less, and he started being horrible during our arguments. I find myself holding onto that man he was before.

I feel horrible about myself now. I’ve always been known for being beautiful and especially in high school. I didn’t believe it within myself but I know I looked good, I can’t get the things he’s said to me out of my head all my self esteem is gone and I know I need to leave him but it feels like I can’t. Please someone help me I feel so attached to this man but he’s absolutely horrible.

Tldr; my boyfriend calls me names

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Singledom, friends and contentment

I currently have a gf (28f) but she isn't the one (or a one) and I need to end it. It will destroy her, but long-term she'll be better off. This post isn't about that though.

My core group of friends involves 3 married guys and 1 who I'm 95% sure will marry his current gf. 1 of the mates just had a baby, another mate has one on the way. They all seem to do exciting stuff with their partners, go on holidays etc. I currently have 9 weeks annual leave saved up because I never go on a holiday. Feels increasingly like I have little in common with them.

I basically just work (which includes a lot of travel). I personally wouldn't date me, I'm fairly shut off, have what would be described as an avoidance attachment style and I'm not good at expressing my emotions.

I love hanging out with my mates occasionally, but part of me also thinks I'd be happier/consistently neutral if I just worked and watched TV on weekends and cut them out.

I just needed to vent. Feeling lost after catching up with them on the weekend.

Tl;Dr: do I cut out my mates from my life so I can live my life in neutral?

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My [23M] partner [23F] is going travelling for a year - feel hopeless and anxious

We [23M and 23F] have been together for 1 year, and in a few omnths they will be moving country for a year for a working holiday.

The distance would be huge - a 20 hour flight and an 8 hour time difference, which makes it even harder to communicate via call/message

I am very upset by this and it's hard to not feel a bit angry at being left behind

My GF wants to stay together during this time and do a long distance relationship, and believes it can work. I am much more hesitant, but at the same time it feels impossible to break up as our relationship is so good otherwise.

I don't hopeful at all that we would manage to stay happy during this time. I know I will struggle with the lack of physical connection, be worried about her meeting someone else, and overall just find it very hard.

But we love eachother a lot and enjoy being together so much, that I can't end things

The best we can hope for is to see eachother once the entire year. Me going with is not an option unfortunately.

I am not sure I believe long distance for this length of time could work, but they feel otherwise, and say they know many people who have done it - so why can't we?

Its something they have always wanted to do, which I get, but I can't help feel that they are abandoning a relationship that is going very well

This is incredibly hard because a breakup is hard as it is, but that normally happens due to relationship issues. Here we both love eachother and are our enjoying our relationship so much that if it weren't for this we would definitely continue

TLDR: Partner leaving in a few months for a working holiday, for one year. She wants to stay together during this time, but I am unsure. I cannot go with and the distance will be huge, so we could only hope to visit once the whole year. I don't want to break up, but also don't think I could cope with long distance (struggle with needing physical connection, and I would be worried about her meeting someone else). I know I struggle a lot with long distance, and I also can't help but feel a bit rejected. Our relationship was going so well before this. I feel hopeless. Any advice?

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Am I overreacting for being angry at my boyfriend for not messaging me while he was with his friends?

My boyfriend (16M) is a bit of a drinker when he’s with his mates and occasionally alone. I (18F) am absolutely not, I’ve never been drunk or surrounded myself with drinking culture, so I don’t know what’s normal.

Last night he sent me a message around 7pm telling me that his friends dragged him into a night out. I told him to have fun and to let me know he’s alive every now and then. He knows that I worry if he’s going to be out late, especially if I know he’s drinking. In the past he’s always, always told me when he got home so that I know he’s safe, because I usually stay up and wait until he’s back home before I go to sleep.

This time I had nothing all night. I sent him a message at about 10pm asking when he was going to be home, and another one at midnight jokingly asking if he was alive. Around this point one of his friends posted a blurry photo of someone on the ground very clearly not in good shape who I recognised to be him because of a bracelet he wears. I sent another message about this an hour later asking if he was okay and saying that I hadn’t expected him to keep me updated every second, but something would’ve been nice.

I grew increasingly worried as I continued to receive no answer from him, nor from the friend who posted the photo who I eventually sent a quick message to. I gave up and went to sleep with my notifications on loud at around 4am having heard nothing and with nothing else being posted.

I didn’t get a message until 9:30am, at which point he told me “fine don’t worry lmao” and explained that he’d gotten blackout drunk. None of his friends had been as drunk as him, as there are videos from the night of them literally holding him up because he couldn’t even walk. He’d crashed at one of their houses for the night. I’m not happy with him at all and I told him so. He apologised more when he realised I was actually upset.

Am I overreacting? Part of me feels like I should be able to trust him to handle himself for one night out with his friends without worrying, and another part is just pissed off.

TLDR: Boyfriend went on a night out with friends, got blackout drunk, didn’t answer any messages all night, had a photo of himself looking passed out on the floor posted to a friends story at 1am, told me “don’t worry lmao” in the morning

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Here's What You Need To Know About Karmic Relationships & How They Work - Indiatimes.com

Here's What You Need To Know About Karmic Relationships & How They Work  Indiatimes.com

* This article was originally published here

Anyone found happiness after being with a toxic avoidant partner ?

So I am [M33] and have been involved in a long term relationship with a avoidant [F35] who was very damaging to my overall mental health and physical wellbeing. That said from being with her for 7 years I cannot think how I will love anyone as much as I loved her. I am aware of the trauma bond which exists but it is so hard to let go of her. I feel we were each others person and she told me I was her person. It feels like we got caught up in all the drama we created in each others lives and that was addictive it was even fun at times. But very painful also. There could be a sado masochistic element to this but who knows. Anyway I want to here from people who have got into new relationships after feeling like they lost the person they always thought would be there for them and they loved and adored with every fibre of themselves.

TL:DR looking to hear from others who have been in toxic relationships and how they found there new person who they loved and adored.

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