help:(

i (f27) met my fiance (m39) almost two years ago. we hit it off immediately and had an amazing connection and to this day, we have a few differences, but are mostly the same person. ive never felt so loved and close and intimate with anyone else. i love him more than anything.

we lived in different cities however and a year ago he asked me to move in with him. i was very unsure as i hate his city, though he has a lovely house and farm, and i absolutely loved the city i was in. all my friends are there, and its a bit bigger so more events happening etc. i also had a very good job there.

anyway i didnt want to lose him so i moved, but a year later now ive realised how miserable i am living there, i still havent made friends, and i have a shitty job bc its hard to find something here.

he is the love of my life, but i cannot live here and i dont know what to do.

if i stay, i will have him. if i go i will be in my favourite city, have my friends, more job opportunities.

but also if i stay i have to live in this poo hole, where i dont feel comfortable and at home. if i go i have to work full time and support myself alone (im mentally ill and my capability to work is greatly hindeded by it, and i fear managing on my own).

tldr; should i choose the love of my life and live an uncomfortable life, or my friends, favourite city, freedom and comfort?

any words of wisdom? 😭🙏

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Academia relationships

I've been following some threads on reddit regarding couples in academia, with one or both parties being post docs who constantly have to travel internationally between positions (especially in science fields but I've seen it in other fields as well).

I'm in one such relationship myself so I really would like to hear from people who are in the same boat. Like how do you manage the uncertainty this career path brings, like potential prolonged periods of LD and no clear future time or place to settle?

Is it very difficult to stay in one place as a post doc if your goal is to stay in academia? And is becoming tenured really the only option for stability? What does the road look like for such a relationship if the struggle for tenure means enduring uncertainty sometimes lasting into 10+ years?

To give some background, my (29F) bf (33M) is a post doc in nuclear physics, I'm a high school science teacher. Together 5 years, LDR for 4. Each research post takes him to a different place internationally and we dunno how long it will remain this way. We have discussed him entering industry and leaving academia, but he finds that idea saddening... He really has a "pure scientist's spirit" if that makes sense, I admire him for it. And I will never ask him to abandon his dreams, I love the nature of his job too. He similarly supports my career as a teacher and encourages me to go for further education on that even though that means I have to stay put for a few more years.

TL;DR I'm here asking for some insight into academia relationships. Like how to consolidate between the need for stability in relationships and the uncertainties that often come with post doc positions, like moving around internationally while trying to get tenured. Long distance etc. What does that road look like for you and your SO?

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* This article was originally published here

Guy I'm seeing says he likes me but doesn't want to continue dating I don't know how to deal with it or how to feel about his reasons why

I (F25) have been dating this guy (M28) for over 3 months now. I’ve had a crush on him for a long time and we’ve been friends for almost 7 years before this. Recently we told eachother that we’re both falling in love with eachother. But he doesn’t want to continue dating because of (mental) health problems. He is chronically ill and spends a lot of time in the hospital, and often has to undergo surgeries and other treatments. I know that I don’t care and that I want to be there for him, he recently had surgery and I supported him through all of it and he told me how grateful he was for it and I felt very connected to him through all of it. But I feel like he’s trying to create some distance between us.

We both have feelings for eachother but he says we should distance ourselves from eachother because he doesn’t want to continue dating. He says that he has too much problems and doesn’t want to put them on me. I think it’s a stupid reason because I know I can handle it to be there for him and I don’t think this should be a reason to not date. His past relationship of 4 years failed because of this, when he was in a really bad state his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and got pregnant which was traumatic for him. So I can understand that he’s scared to get hurt. I don’t want to push him either. So I don’t know what to do now but I just don’t know how to accept the fact the we both like eachother and to just throw away the amazing connection that we have.

My friends say that I should give him space and that he will change his mind but I am scared to get hurt as well and I don’t want to continue waiting for someone who isn’t ready or too scared for anything. I just feel so bad to be in this situation.

Tl;dr: guy I'm dating likes me but doesn't want to continue dating because of personal problems. I don't know how to feel about it or how to deal with it

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* This article was originally published here

'Love Island USA' confirms Same-Sex relationship in the villa - Hindustan Times

'Love Island USA' confirms Same-Sex relationship in the villa  Hindustan Times

* This article was originally published here

I am korean(24M) and my girlfriend(21F) is Ukrainian Having a problem about where to live in the future what should i do?

Hello, I am a South Korean male, and my girlfriend is Ukrainian. We met at a language school in Japan, and my girlfriend is currently unable to return to Ukraine. My visa is expiring in January next year, and I have to return to South Korea, which inevitably means we will be separated. However, I love my girlfriend very much. She is my first and special girlfriend who makes me happy. Due to her difficulty in adapting to life in Asia, she will be going to the United States next year. I am aware of how challenging it can be to obtain a visa in the United States, so I applied for the Canadian Working Holiday Program (4 years) to find a compromise with my girlfriend. However, it appears that Canada has suspended visa issuance for Ukrainians, (my girlfriend has consulted with the authorities) and I am completely unsure of what to do. We are both in our early twenties(24M 21F) and not financially well-off. It will take at least a year or more for me to graduate from college to go to the United States, which my girlfriend doesn't want. She doesn't want to be apart for a year. I am getting more and more scared. How should I handle this situation?

I actually keep asked to her live with me in Korea

but she definatealy doesn't want to stay in asian country

ps . I used Chat gpt for this. Please understand my bad english.. XD

TLDR: Idk where to go and what to do. please help

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* This article was originally published here

I (24F) recently found out my bf (36M) frequently paid for sex in the past before meeting me. I don't know how to feel about it and have a hard time moving forward from this. Any advice on how to tackle this and what type of conversation we need to be having?

I'm not overreacting in the sense of freaking out and I won't break up due to this but I find it gross to say the least. It was something we had previously discussed and he denied having done things like that. I forgive him for it because he's very open about everything now and I understand why he initially denied it. I'm a virgin and I will remain one till marriage and I've accepted his history of having slept with many women.

This, however, is making me feel very icky. I have trouble just accepting it somehow. My bf is quite avoidant as well so talking to him about it is difficult. At the same time i'm not sure what I would even need to be talking about. After all, i'm the one who is having trouble with this.. so how do I accept it and move forward?

TLDR: I (24F) recently found out my bf (36M) frequently paid for sex in the past before meeting me. How do I move forward from this?

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* This article was originally published here

My 22F boyfriend 23M had sex with me non consensually

Hello everyone,

My original post got taken down due to the edit I added so I attached it here! The link in the comments is to the post and it has some comments that are relevant to the situation if you’re interested or you can find the original post from my profile. I’m reposting this because the advice I got so far has really been helpful in navigating this situation and I’ll share some of the comments with my boyfriend which will help us navigate the situation.

ORIGINAL POST: Hi everyone I’m looking for some advice. My boyfriend and I had something traumatic happen and I’m unsure what to make of it. We’re both in our early 20s, I’m 22 he’s 23, and are high school sweethearts (we’ve been together for 5 years).

The other night we were hanging out, we grabbed food and talked. We began to fool around and I told him I didn’t want to “do it” that night but was okay to keep doing other things. Normally when this happens we either stop before we reach that point of doing “it” or I change my mind because I feel into it, but he always makes sure it’s what I want before it happens. I think as the foreplay continues I become more receptive and turned on which is why I change my mind.

During this instance I did say I wanted to in between during foreplay and when he asked if I was sure I said no and this happened a couple of times (yes I went back and forth during our foreplay which was an hour long). After a few times of this happening the next time it did he told me to grab protection and I said “I don’t want to”, I’m not sure if he thought I meant I don’t want to use protection or if he understood that I didn’t want to “do it”. He ended up doing it anyways and I fell into a state of shock and completely froze. His face was in my shoulder so he didn’t see my face. I didn’t say anything except “whats going on”, I’m not sure if he heard me say it because I didn’t get a response. The actual act was pretty quick( probably under a minute) and when he got up he saw my face and realized I looked upset and hurt and began to ask if I was okay and I told him I didn’t want to do that. He immediately apologized and looked genuinely horrified over it. I think I was still in shock so I just asked to go home, he told me he wanted me to stay but would take me home.

It’s been a few days and he’s apologized more times than I can count and brought my favorite foods and flowers to apologize. I asked him to not touch me since I still haven’t fully processed what happened and he respected my boundaries completely.

He genuinely seems remorseful and wants to make things work but I don’t know how to process this. I’m looking for advice on how to proceed from here. Is this something we can get over?

Other than this our relationship and sex life is great. We were both virgins when we met and lost our virginity to each other and have only ever been with each other. We’re very serious about our relationship and are talking about marriage soon. We’re also very integrated with each others family.

EDIT: after reading a lot of comments and thinking about our sexual encounters it may be more of a kink for me to tease him and almost edge him and then he gets to dominate. It’s both of our first times being sexual with a partner so I’ve never realized it’s a kink and I doubt he did either. Some of the things I’ve decided to discuss with him are safe words and talking out how this was a miscommunication. I’ll keep replying to comments as I can!

TLDR: my boyfriend had sex with me non consensually and I’m unsure how to proceed

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* This article was originally published here