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Thursday, September 28, 2023

My GF has a close guy friend who tried to make moves on her before. I'm not really comfortable. Is this being too overbearing?

My gf [23F] has a close guy friend [23M] that she met during the pandemic/online classes. They became study buddies and gaming buddies way before we met. This dude has tried to reach out and made moves on her a couple of time, and yet to no avail. Their friendship got cut off for a while but has recently been restored. And now that they're in med school together, they study together quite often in cafes.

I've confronted her with this and she has been nothing but reassuring on a positive note. It just ticks me that I sense her parents' approval of that guy instead of me. I'm just trying to find security in the trust that we have and our commitment to this.

Am I being too overbearing on her?

tl;dr

My gf has a guy friend who made moves on her before but he got rejected. I'm just honestly uncomfortable.

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* This article was originally published here

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

I'm (30M) planning a trip but my friend (28F) is unreachable

My friend (28F) and I (30M) have known each other for a few months and from the start we've connected really well.

My friends and her friends are separately planning a trip to the same country at the same time (by coincidence).

I recently asked her whether she wants to plan the trip together and meet up while we're there. She said we could but that she'll only be there a short time and will be in a rush.

A complication to this is that she's currently hiking and unreachable for days and I need clarity on plans soon.

I can't tell if she wants to plan and/or meetup or whether this is a nice way to say no.

Is she saying yes or a soft no? I could plan a trip without her input but I know she'll be really offended if I exclude her thoughts and organise it without her.

tl;dr - Friend (28F) is unreachable but I need her so I can plan a trip. Her last message was confusing and need to make a judgement call based on it.

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* This article was originally published here

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Girlfriend[f27] lied to me[m30]

Hey so I’ve been with my girlfriend 9 months and on her Snapchat this guy she knows from school messages her and replies to her stories often.

She said she never had any feelings for him and nothing ever happened between them.

I found in her conversation before we met that they were sex talking and she had sent photos, so to me she lied.

She said she never told me because she didn’t want me thinking bad of her and she was ashamed.

During our relationship she has sent me photos when I’m not with her, it just makes me think hmm how do I know she didn’t send him them too.

We argued and she said she was going to block him because of it but I found out she hadn’t a few days later and brought it up and she said she forgot and then she blocked him on Snapchat but before that he had also removed her on Facebook.

Can’t stop thinking about this 24/7

Does this mean anything?

She always seemed a little dodgy opening the messages from him when he messaged originally or going on Snapchat, but sometimes did open it.

She always leaves her phone near me or when she’s in shower next to me and I know her passcode.

Tl;dr

  • she said there was nothing between them before we got together
  • found out they sexted
  • not sure what to think
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* This article was originally published here

Monday, September 25, 2023

I (m18) am very conflicted wether my friend (f18) actually wants and cares to talk to me and continue our friendship

For more context ill explain: We met around 3 years ago in highschool

Id say even back then i cant seem to recall a lot of times after school (we were in the same school so naturally we would see eachother and talk) where she would initiate a conversation in like whatsaap The thing that makes this very conflicting is Every time we talk (well not every time but) She told me im one of her closest friends that she really like talking and hanging out with me

But it is genuinley messing with my brain a bit that not once did she think to send me a message (and i get that now even more then ever since we finished highschool and dont live in the same city and such)

In general the TLDR is Im getting conflicting messages from my friend and dont know if they want to keep the friendship going It feels to me as if im trying very hard to make a sinking ship float

If anyone has some advice or thought that would be nice

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* This article was originally published here

Sunday, September 24, 2023

Was I assaulted?

Hey Reddit! (English isn't my first language so keep that in mind!)
I (F21) was on a date yesterday with a guy (M22) I met through mutual friends. This was our third date, we had kissed but nothing else physically. We had some drinks at a bar and then another one at his place. After that, we started to makeout and things progressed (you get the idea). As he was fingering me, I asked him to stop but he continued. I told him repeatedly to stop and even tried to move his hand away about four times, but he was a lot stronger than me so I couldn't really do anything. After a while I just let it happen and I even orgasmed. The thing is that during it I wasn't really scared, I didn't really feel any strong emotion. Afterward, we had PIV sex, I stayed the night and we even cuddled. The morning after he was really sweet and we made plans to see each other again.
I'm really conflicted about it because, on one hand, I know that what he did was wrong and a crime in my country's jurisdiction. But at the same time, I don't really feel assaulted or sad about it. And as previously stated, during it, I didn't feel bad or something like that. I think he must have thought that I was only teasing and not really meaning it when I said: “stop”. I just want an outsider's perspective on it as I don't want to talk to my friends about it.

TLDR: A guy im dating continuted to finger me after i told him to stop. Was i assulted?

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* This article was originally published here

Saturday, September 23, 2023

I think my (18m) gf (18f) is depressed

As the title says, i think my gf may be depressed or burnt out and i have no clear image of anything I could do to help.

Basically we've been toghether for close to 8 months and so far it was good, with no problem that we couldn t find a solution to. She's a bit of a fragile person from an emotional pov but on all the other fronts she's the smartest, cutest and outright person i've ever got to know. Anyways, she came to my place some weeks ago and one of my relatives said in a joking manner that we have totally different career paths and passions and we ll also go in different cities for university so what will happen then, which she took as a joke initially ( as it was meant to be ) or so I tought.

Fast forward a few weeks and she started to get colder not only with me but with everyone in her social circle and started to have struggles with sleep, eating almost one meal a day and reasponding to messages after long intervals of time, which is not usual for her at all. I didn t think much of it since she also had some stressful situations in that period and a competition in another city to attend for 4-5 days.

Anyways, this week she texted me after classes one day and told me that she feels unable to do anything anymore and that if I d be ok with taking a break, but that she would love to meet up to express her feelings and see me. We talked about it and I reassured that if it s meant to be it ll work and it s of no use to stress herself out based on a problem that doesn t even exist yet, since we don t know what could change in eachothers career plans and uni choices. She seemed better after the talk, in the beggining she was crying and looked totally broken but at the end i managed to somehow put a smile on her face. After that she said that she needs some more time and asked me to wait a bit for her to sort herself out because she feels like a shitty person for not giving in as much as usual to our relationship, but without breaking up or taking a break, so we re still together. 

The thing is that i have no ideea how to help her or if I can even do that at all, except for giving her all the space she needs. Any advice would be appreciated. Also we still text daily since then, but she s still cold and responds after several hours and has a messed up sleep schedule. ( going to therapy is not an option since her parents believe that therapy is just a scam )

I also feel anxious since i don t know if anything will go back to normal or if it is me who caused the problem and she s saying i didn t do anything wrong just so she doesn t hurt me. I am overthinking all this so i wanted to check out eith others opinions as well. 

TL;DR! I think my gf is depressed and i have no idea how to help

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* This article was originally published here

Friday, September 22, 2023

My bf keeps jerking off to random women on the internet. Should I break up?

TL;DR My bf jerks off to random women on the internet. I asked him to stop, he says he will but doesn't. Should I break up?

So I've (30f) been with my boyfriend (30m) for almost 2y. I have complete confidence that he would never cheat. Or at least not physically. But he keeps jerking off to random women on facebook. Women with big breasts and bottoms and full makeup. And that makes me super uncomfortable. On one side for obvious reasons, and on another side because the women are the complete opposite of what I am physically which makes me insecure that my boyfriend is not attracted to me.

I know all this because one time I caught him doing it. After that, from time to time I check his facebook history and confirm that he keeps doing it despite me being clear that I didn't want him to do it. He just got better at hiding it but I always know that he keeps doing it because I keep going there to confirm. So I've been thinking about breaking it off for quite some time. First because me going into his facebook history is a complete lack of privacy respect and already a red flag that there's no trust in the relationship. And secondly because I've asked him many times to stop it and he always says he will, but I keep finding out that he continues to do it. He is not respecting my boundaries. This is really hard for me, because apart from this, our relationship is very good. He's loving and caring, we share the same interests, we are super confortable with each other and can completely see ourselves being together in the future. However, I feel like what I'm asking is not that big of an effort and the fact that he is not willing to stop it and keeps getting better at hiding it is a major red flag as well. Am I exagerating or should I break up?

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* This article was originally published here