Bf (53M) and I (51F) recently broke up. How do I hook-up without getting attached?

Tl;dr Due to my permanent mental illness, I don’t want to inflict myself on anyone, but I still want to have sex (with an actual human). How do I do this without getting attached?

My boyfriend (53M) and I (51F) recently ended our relationship after more than 23 years (our relationship has been cordial, but dead, for the past decade). He has a gf who is perfect for him (a much more fulfilling partner than I could ever be). I, on the other hand, have lifelong psychological issues and have decided that it really isn’t fair to inflict that on anyone, especially someone I supposedly care about.

I am 100% convinced that any remission of my mental illness is only temporary (because it ALWAYS comes back…. it will never NOT come back), and to let someone fall in love with the healthy version of myself is just deceitful and cruel (to both of us).

I will (do) miss having sex with another human being, though. I wish I knew I’d be emotionally capable of hooking up without getting attached. Any suggestions on how to have fun without falling in love?

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My (f29) boyfriend (m32) made a comment on my work ethic and now I don’t feel like going to his relatives birthday event.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and live together.

I’ve recently been struggling with my mental health. I have a history of really bad anxiety. I took a new job a few months back in the area we moved to (outside the city). I don’t drive yet but I’m trying! I failed my test before due to severe anxiety on the exam day. I live in the U.K. where they are pretty strict with the test so it’s not that easy either.

Anyway, I’ve been using extremely unreliable public transport and my standard journey is 1.5 hours and back. Sometimes the bus never comes so I have to wait an hour for the next one so it come take me over 3 hours to get home. I’m burnt out from the commute and can’t wait til I pass my test next year, and cabs aren’t an option as I don’t earn enough to pay for them every day.

I handed in my notice and my manager is trying everything to make me stay. He’s quite unprofessional and tells me about his mental health problems, how he cries on his bed and how hard life is as he hired someone else to make him feel good but now I’m leaving. He also said the main boss wants to hire an immigrant as they are hard working. So yes he made it about himself. This was super draining so I got back home last night and broke down in tears.

I couldn’t sleep last night due to anxiety about the job. I woke up and told my boyfriend that I want to stay home today as I’m on the verge of a breakdown. He then said that’s fine but it’s true what my boss said about immigrants being harder working (my boyfriend has immigrant parents). He apologised when he’s realised it hurt me but I told him that I’m pretty much done for today and I’m not in the mood to see ANYONE. So I’ve cancelled going to his house for his nans birthday. Hope I’m not being too harsh.

TL;DR: I’m taking a mental health day off from work (a job that I’m leaving) as I’m on the verge of a breakdown, and boyfriend made an insensitive joke about my work ethic.

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She’s confused on her feelings towards me and I have no idea what to say. M26 f53

Recently I’ve (26) been seeing a coworker. (52).

For the last two months. We’ve been I guess in a in the dark relationship. I’ve been trying to date her for two years. And two months she finally caved in and let me have sex with her.

She said it’s supposed to be light and airy. That’s our relationship. Well it turned into hanging out as much as we could. Staying the night.

She’s always said I’m too young. And she’s can’t get over the age gap. She’s confused on what we’re doing. She’s got deep feelings for me.

We got into an argument at dinner Saturday. About this. And I just got mad and told her it’s not fair to me that you keep stringing me along. If you can’t date someone half your age. Then that’s your answer and we can end it. She said I don’t get what’s she’s going through and she wants me to go find someone to have kids with. I said don’t worry about me. She said you’re 50 I’m 80. Doesn’t that scare you. I’m never gonna meet your family you won’t meet mine. We’re in the dark.

Then I take her home. She tells me to come in. Hugs me for 5 minutes. And tells me to stay the night.

Fast forward to last night. I said are we done. And she called and just said I’m confused. I don’t know what I want to do. I said well what do you want from me. She said I make her feel beautiful and loved and it’s perfect. But the age. And she said she feels like I pressure her when I ask what she wants. Maybe she needs space. She hates when I tell her I won’t be her best friend if we end it. Which is true. We’ll be friends at work but what would be the point in hanging out outside of work.

I just don’t know what to do and I can’t talk to anyone about it and it’s tough for me. I have no clue what to say or to do.

Tl;dr: she’s 53 I’m 27. She has deep feelings but can’t get over the age gap.

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A 15 year olds take on love lmao

The ability to love is a beautiful thing. You will receive smiles, laughs, moments to cherish and even tears. There is hardships and frustrations that come with love and I think it's the ability for two individuals to see the imperfections of another and accept them for it. Sometimes love wanes. Sometimes it leaks and you can't do anything about it but what makes love so beautiful is when it works. It isn't forced. It isn't perfect by any means but it's happy. Sure a pretty face and a nice body is nice but someone who can hold you through the yucky tears and the bleeding thoughts is what love really is. A true connection between 2 people no matter how big or small, stupid or smart, funny or not. The fleeting desire for this connection is what's corrupting this world and the lack of true matrimony plagues this world more so than war, greed or any of the sort. Loyalty. Honesty. Kindness. All traits a vast amount of people seem to be missing in the modern age and key requirements for love. So, do you truly love? Or are you living some deluded expectation of 'love'? Question yourself. What is love?

Love is the fragile bond between 2 people that at the least want the best for one and another. And at the most no war can be fought or not battle can be won to symbolize the connection between those people. To make someone your whole world is a dangerous game that will only end in tears. But that tiny percentage of the population that found 'the one'. Hats off to you. You were lucky enough to experience love in this degenerate generation.

---

**TL;DR;** : A cringe take on love by some teen.

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Not sure what i should…

I (24m) have been talking/exclusive with (20f) for about 6-7 months now who lives an hour apart from me. ive been in this sort of rut for a month now about how i feel and what i want to do with furthering our relationship. i know she wants to date and be more so official. i mean she loves me and i love her but i dont think im in love with her. shes great, awesome, and has the same kind of humor as me. where my mind goes foggy though is when i think about the future and if our lives can works together. she is still in college and will be for a little while. with saying that, she lives the kind of “college lifestyle” in a sense, but not to the fullest degree. i want to be a professional/competitive bodybuilder. with wanting to do that, i cant really be around all the partying so much anymore. this is kind of thing would really require my full attention.

i havent talked or mentioned anything about my feelings because i know its just gonna hurt her. ive always been the type to not worry about just saying something but this time its hard because ive never been in this kind of situation. how do i go about talking to her about it? should i wait and see if my feelings will change? i just feel so bad and wrong for what it seems like stringing her on.

TL;DR- i am having second thoughts/mixed feelings about my relationship and im not sure what i should do.

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Painfully ordinary man

Background: I(20M) am a student used to be very bright, nerdy so didn't go out much. I believe (or like to believe) that I can pursue social life(e.g. travelling, partying, such bigh things)after I become financially independent and get a job(tautological) for I don't have the resources to do so now.

Immediate context: had a good female friend(22F), she fell for me somewhat and since I didn't want anything serious for now, we agreed for a casual relationship. After some days of normal quarrel, she called me 'You're such a painfully ordinary man'. Nothing has hurt me more. I'm on the verge of crying and it's not normal for me to cry. I am out of my wits and emotions. I guess it's hurting even more because it's somewhat true. I don't know what to feel now. Help me.

Tldr: girlfriend called me painfull ordinary man and it hurts.

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I (26M) love my gf (24F) and find her very sexy, but I feel mentally blocked while having sex with her - any advice?

Let's start with this - before this relationship [2 years of it now], I engaged in casual sex only. I was having a problem to find a girl for relationship, so I went into sexual - based relations to fulfill my sexual needs and it was very physically arousing for me.

Now, in a romantic relationship, I find it hard to "unlock" myself to have really good, arousing sex with my gf. I love her and having sex with her in the way I used to have with my previous partners I find a bit... objectifying?

I read alot about madonna-wh*re complex and I'd say I think I'm suffering to it. I consider my gf pure, beautiful, and clean entity who I love by my entire heart, and I connect with it an inability to have free-minded sex with her which would fully arouse me and sexually release me. I feel terrible with it, but sometimes I think of other women and it makes me very aroused there [I hate it].

I feel as if I was unable to show love through sex, meanwhile I'd love to do that because I love my gf, but I feel totally lost there. Any advice?

tl;dr I love my gf but I don't feel sex with her as arousing as with other women even though she physically arouses me

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