My (34F) BF (33M) is angry because I told him I hadn't slept and missed work because he got sick in bed last night due to his own lifestyle choices. Am I wrong for this?

From time to time my partner goes out with friends and then he'll eat late, have late coffee that keeps him wide awake all night and he smokes half a pack a day. Last night he would be back by 11.30pm but it got to 1 am. I was a bit worried, so I stayed up til he was back. That night he kept turning and he said his stomach was hurting and he was hot and cold. I asked what he ate at the restaurant and he said kangoroo steak... He said he felt nauseaus. I told him to make some fresh ginger tea but he didn't want to try.

Anyway, both of us kept waking up all night. I missed work due to exhaustion. I told him in the morning that the fact that he was so late and his unhealthy choices had stopped me from getting proper sleep. It is like this at least once a month. He said that it was easy for me to blame him. I'm angry because who else am I suppose to blame? I couldn't sleep because of his poor lifestyle choices. I think he is angry because I asked him if he doesn't care about my job. Maybe I was a bit harsh. But I still feel disrespected. He said I could have gone to bed earlier if I wanted to. Doesn't seem to understand how sleep works. I called out sick from work. He felt fine. But came home for lunch all pissed off. I cried in the morning and now again because he is a avoiding me while I lay crying in the couch in the living room. Was I really wrong to say those things?

Tl;dr my bf's health choices keep him turning in bed some night. I wake up exhausted and miss work. He's pissed that I blame him. Who's in the wrong?

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Absolutely gated the gift my girlfriend(22,f) gave me(25,M).

TL:DR My girlfriend, got me a Kalimba as a birthday gift, and while i opened it up, she said "she's always wanted to buy one for herself but couldn't justify the buy, so she got it for me instead". I don't like music(especially the kind it plays, she knows all about it), I have fat fingers, and i have a tonne of other hobbies she knows very well about.

Full version:

I am turning to reddit because I didn't know where all to go.

My girlfriend(22,f) of three years, just got me a kalimba for my 25th(M) birthday. And I was very disappointed by it .

She likes listening to the extremely romantic, slow, melodious songs and I don't. Infact, when we are driving and if she plays it, I just ask her to not play them and we could just talk instead. She knows I don't like the music one bit. I don't mind her listening to it, I just don't want to listen to it myself.

And we just recently started long distance, since she had to move cities for education, i stayed back for work.but while I was opening it, and she was on call, she says that she has always wanted one, but couldn't, justify buying it, and that if I don't like it, I could give it to her.

Then she asks me to learn to play it, so that when she comes back for Christmas I can play it for her.

And the note she sent me, said, "it's a good gift buns(that's what she calls me), learn how to play it, so you can play it for me."

I mean, even on my birthday, I have to do something that I don't like to make her happy!!

I expressly told her to not get me anything, but then when she told me she'd sent something for me, then my expectations weren't of a little musical instrument that could play "you're my sunshine"

Shes been in a relationship with me for three years now, she knows i love reading history, I do bird watching & wildlife photography, i carve and Whittle wood and i have been learning how to sculpt with clay.

I told her I loved the gift and that it's super thoughtful to not hurt her feelings and ruin my birthday with an argument. But I really didn't like it, and i don't see myself in it one bit.

I just got her, her first vibrator for her birthday, and while she opened it up today, it kind of slipped out of my mouth and I said "and that's how you give awesome gifts" right after she tested it out on the call with me. She picke dit up, and has been mad at me about me taunting her and me not liking her gift.

What should I do?

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Feeling insecure

Hello, this is hard for me to post, even anonymously because this is something I've never dealt with before and I am having a lot of difficulty getting through it. Please delete if not allowed. I'm just hoping that hearing from strangers might help me a bit more since hearing from some of my close friends didnt do much for me. About a month ago curiosity got the best of me and I used my boyfriend of 3 years laptop to see his Facebook account. I went through his activity and saw that he had looked at about 10 very pretty girls in the last 4 months (i couldnt keep going because i felt sick). He didn't like their pictures or did anything beyond that and he was very apologetic and remorseful when i asked him about it. However, this hurt me so much because I've never had the curiosity to look at other guys on Facebook so I couldn't understand why he would do that unless he feels like I'm not enough. My close guy friends (all of which are in relationships) told me and reassured me that all guys are like that, but I don't know if they only said that to make me feel better. This is the first time I've cared about what my partner is doing on social media, I've never really been in love before I guess. I forgave him and he deleted fb on his own accord but this event left me feeling very insecure and paranoid. I feel like maybe he is getting bored with me or there's something I don't have that he wants. I keep feeling like I'm not what he wants, no matter how much love and reassurance he gives me. I already hated my body but now I don't even want him to see me naked. I know time cures all but it's been a month and I'm actually feeling a bit worse. I would like to know if anyone here has experienced this and what did you do to get over it? Please don't tell me to break up with him, that's not going to happen at this moment, maybe in the future if I feel like I can't get past this. He is an amazing person and has never done anything on purpose to make me feel inadequate. If all men do these things then I feel like breaking up would be a mistake if my next partner will do the same, or worse. I am truly in love with this guy and this is the worst thing he's done.

TLDR: boyfriend was looking at pretty girls on Facebook and now I'm feeling insecure about my body and our relationship.

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Jealous, bitter and salty at my best friend

tl;dr Feel excluded and lonely over lack of time spent with best friend.

So we’ve known each other for almost two years already. We hit it off rather quickly and at some point we were spending all our free time together. I moved to the same country K lived in for several years(she wasn’t the reason of the move). Now we live together.

When K visited it would feel rather awkward. Later we discussed it. So everything was cool ig?

I don’t celebrate my birthday but K said she will visit bc im her bestie. So me and my other friends threw a bbq. K had to leave wayy earlier even before bbq bc her friend she gave a ride needed to go back to their city.

Later, around May-June period I would get busy with working additional hours to make some extra for the moving and also got busy with university stuff. K started hanging out with our mutual friend A more often. It was fine, only in July I would start feeling more excluded. We still texted each other almost all day and K would stream for me and play together after my shift.

Then I moved in with her and her other roommate for two weeks before our apartment was ready. I felt soo excluded and lonely because she would spend all her free time with A. I didn’t want to be obnoxious and just waited if she’d invite me to play with her. It got to the point that I talked to K’s roommate more than I did with her. I had to pull “ohhh I would love to play(the game I bought for her and it was “our” game) with you guys” several times before K actually invited me. And when she did she yelled at me for some stupid shit. We talked about it and forgot. Then when I was interested in the game again she suddenly decided that she doesn’t want to play it anymore. But played with the mutual friend often.

When the invited me to play new game for me and I would try to talk they would rarely answer. I got lost in the game and had to figure out where I need to go for 15 minutes. Because they ignored me everytime I asked where I should go.

Also some other occasions that I can’t remember well enough to describe right now.

Now it just feels weird. Like I’m really jealous all the time and don’t think we’re each others best friends even. I don’t think K cares anymore about me. I don’t think K wants to spend time with me. Conversations feels forced.

K often leaves me on delivered bc she’s too busy spending time with A and her university. She is a good friend and was there when I needed her. But lately I just feel sooo bitter and I don’t know how to fix it.

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My boyfriend (27M) just broke up with me (22M), I still love him but we chose to be bestfriends, is it possible?

My boyfriend (27M) and I (22F) had been in a relationship for 2 years, however he broke up with me yesterday. Although we had a nice relationship, he unfortunately fell out of love and the guilt of not being able to reciprocate my feelings was obviously too hard for him. We had a really nice break up where we cried a lot together and spend the night together remembering our best memories and laughing.

Because here is the real issue, my boyfriend was my best friend and he still loves me as a bestfriend too. So while crying and panicking at one point I made him promise me that we would stay BFF no matter what. He accepted as he would probably have accepted any of my ask but I know he is genuine about wanting to be my friend. We have so much in common, we learned together on a lot of subject and just litteraly would have been friends if we hadn't fall in love since we enjoy each other presence so much.

However, we just broke up and clearly I am still madly in love with him. Our plan is to still talk on messenger everyday (as I'm used to him being my biggest confident and support and to talk to him about litteraly anything that annoys me), but we won't see each other for a month because he is traveling in Mongolia with a friend. Then we'll decide what we do but we definitely planned to see a movie and go for drinks to talk about his travel.

I truly feel that I want to be his bestfriend as I see him kind of like a big brother who makes me laugh and feel supported in anything (even a lot of trauma). But I guess my question is : do you think this is just an attempt to make him fall in love again (I know he won't) or is it genuine and most importantly is it possible ?

TL;DR! I am still in love with my boyfriend who just broke up with me, we both decided to stay bestfriends but I'm scared it won't work (eventhough we would be perfect BFF for each other)

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How much doubt is normal when deciding to have children?

My partner and I of almost 10 years got engaged last year. Throughout our relationship she has expressed her adamant desire to have children. I've come a long way towards wanting that goal, but I still have a lot of doubt surrounding the idea. Most days I think that having a child with her is the happiest possible future and something I would treasure dearly. But some days the thought of sacrificing so much of my personal life to raise someone else (when oftentimes it feels like I struggle just to take care of ME) fills me with worry.
How normal are these feelings? I love my fiance and want to give her the world, and I know we would do a great job parenting. But there is still this nagging sliver of doubt that often scares me shitless. Is the fact that I'm not 100% bursting with optimism and joy a sign that this is a mistake? Or is some level of trepidation just part of the program?
TLDR: How much doubt is normal when deciding to have kids? I'd love to hear from others who went through the same situation.

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I'm not sure what to do... lose a girl I love or get married and move on with my life and leave things I enjoy behind.

TL;DR! - Difficult relationship with an amazing girl who took some time to do work travel. Wants me to come "pick her up" and then propose there to move forward with a life together. Not sure what to do.

I (31M) need some advice I'm not sure what to do.

I've been dating a girl (3 F) for the last 1.5-2 years. Things got really tough, my friends don't like her, there was no trust due to past incidents where I lied (we've been slowly rebuilding), and we often fight or don't see eye to eye. She is always trying to move forward and go fast for things and I am rather slow at doing things. This makes her on my case for a lot of stuff. But she is my team mate on a lot of things and is extremely supportive of me in my career and just general life stuff outside of that.

She has some anger issues... when she gets angry she doesn't care about my opinion and explodes at me. It used to really hurt but I've become numb to it and now I just let her explode then talk after and she is always reasonable and we can take steps forward. She is working on this.

She took some time to travel abroad for the last few months and we've really reconnected. We enjoy talking on the phone and things are good. She wants me to come to her last destination with her, travel around there together, and then move home together. She keeps hinting that the only way she'll come back is if I propose to her there.

I don't want to let her go... but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Also I feel like if I do it i'll grow distance from my friends (if not eventually lose them) and not be able to enjoy things I like to do with them anymore. Like going on trips, or nights out, etc. Obviously some things change with a partner but I'd want my partner to come with me, not stay at home always... which she probably would since we don't enjoy a lot of the same things (outside of hanging out together at home and seeing interesting places).

She always tells me shes extremely happy to have me in her life and that we're going to build something incredible together. This makes me feel I'm going to break her heart and destroy her whole life... shes really counting on me to come through. That makes me really worry... I love her so much and I don't want her to hurt in anyway.

Is it worth really investing in this, changing my life completely to get married to this girl? Attempting to fix things with friends and rebuild everything which seems like a big challenge but maybe not impossible? Am I just being afraid to move forward or when you find the right person you just feel that you can do it? Is this ultimatum a red flag or just something of how relationships

Basically I just don't know what to do and the day when I'm supposed to go get her is quickly approaching. What do I do? I really don't want to not have her in my life but I also don't know if I will be ultimately unhappy and that it would make things worse in the long run. Starting to date again seems like a scary task as well... I just want what we have now to continue.

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* This article was originally published here