TL;DR! - Difficult relationship with an amazing girl who took some time to do work travel. Wants me to come "pick her up" and then propose there to move forward with a life together. Not sure what to do.
I (31M) need some advice I'm not sure what to do.
I've been dating a girl (3 F) for the last 1.5-2 years. Things got really tough, my friends don't like her, there was no trust due to past incidents where I lied (we've been slowly rebuilding), and we often fight or don't see eye to eye. She is always trying to move forward and go fast for things and I am rather slow at doing things. This makes her on my case for a lot of stuff. But she is my team mate on a lot of things and is extremely supportive of me in my career and just general life stuff outside of that.
She has some anger issues... when she gets angry she doesn't care about my opinion and explodes at me. It used to really hurt but I've become numb to it and now I just let her explode then talk after and she is always reasonable and we can take steps forward. She is working on this.
She took some time to travel abroad for the last few months and we've really reconnected. We enjoy talking on the phone and things are good. She wants me to come to her last destination with her, travel around there together, and then move home together. She keeps hinting that the only way she'll come back is if I propose to her there.
I don't want to let her go... but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Also I feel like if I do it i'll grow distance from my friends (if not eventually lose them) and not be able to enjoy things I like to do with them anymore. Like going on trips, or nights out, etc. Obviously some things change with a partner but I'd want my partner to come with me, not stay at home always... which she probably would since we don't enjoy a lot of the same things (outside of hanging out together at home and seeing interesting places).
She always tells me shes extremely happy to have me in her life and that we're going to build something incredible together. This makes me feel I'm going to break her heart and destroy her whole life... shes really counting on me to come through. That makes me really worry... I love her so much and I don't want her to hurt in anyway.
Is it worth really investing in this, changing my life completely to get married to this girl? Attempting to fix things with friends and rebuild everything which seems like a big challenge but maybe not impossible? Am I just being afraid to move forward or when you find the right person you just feel that you can do it? Is this ultimatum a red flag or just something of how relationships
Basically I just don't know what to do and the day when I'm supposed to go get her is quickly approaching. What do I do? I really don't want to not have her in my life but I also don't know if I will be ultimately unhappy and that it would make things worse in the long run. Starting to date again seems like a scary task as well... I just want what we have now to continue.
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