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Monday, October 23, 2023

How can I 18M move on from things my 18F girlfriend had done?

My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. It’s been long distane but now we’re in the same city. Since the beginning of our relationship, I’ve never laid eyes on another girl, texted or showed interest in any other female. But 4months into our relationship, we went through a tough phase of daily arguments where she always ends up crying. But I always fixed things even when i was in wasnt wrong just so we can go back to normal. She had a bestfriend (of 10 years) that i never trusted and that i was sure hated me. After over a month of arguments, she and her bestfriend got into a fight and i ended up getting texts from the bestfriend showing me how my girl has been talking to my ex behind my back and telling him about our problems and im sure a lot went behind my back while i was trying to be the best man for her and avoiding physical interactions with other girls even when she was away from me. I confronted her and she told me they recently met and she said she told him about us and that she wants nothing to do with him but she was feeling bad since she broke his heart. She also said that her friend used to meet him and she was manipulating her and telling her how he’s heartbroken and missing her everyday. But what i saw was the complete opposite. I couldnt believe a lot of things she said and i was aware that a lot went behind my back so i stopped talking to her. Meanwhile, she was begging for us to be back and crying because i didnt answer her calls, didnt go to school and she hurt herself just because of “the regret” of what she did. I still remember her losing almost 12 pounds that month since she barely ate. loved her too much to end things even though it broke me so i kept talking to her (badly) but she just kept trying and her treatment got so much better later. She posts me on her socials and gave me all her passwords (i never ask) she became the most caring, kind, supportive person in my life, and since june, she never even made a tiny mistake that would harm our relationship. She never goes out without my permission and she makes me feel like the most important person in her life. I can’t explain how but i know for sure she’s in love because its been 5 months and she’s the girl i’ve always wanted to have. So i slowly fell back in love with her and i think she deserves it more now. However, the overthinking never stops, i keep thinking of how she couldve done all that to me while i was in love with her, and if she ever cared back then. Sometimes i mention it and she immediately starts crying and tells me she doesnt want to be reminded of her past and shes a much better person now. Im trying so hard to completely move on but something keeps holding me back, i want to know how i can get over this and focus on the future. Thank you

(English isnt my first language so im sorry for the small mistakes)?

TLDR: how can i move on and focus on the future instead of feeling stuck in the past?

submitted by /u/cpanda_88
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* This article was originally published here

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