tl;dr Feel excluded and lonely over lack of time spent with best friend.
So we’ve known each other for almost two years already. We hit it off rather quickly and at some point we were spending all our free time together. I moved to the same country K lived in for several years(she wasn’t the reason of the move). Now we live together.
When K visited it would feel rather awkward. Later we discussed it. So everything was cool ig?
I don’t celebrate my birthday but K said she will visit bc im her bestie. So me and my other friends threw a bbq. K had to leave wayy earlier even before bbq bc her friend she gave a ride needed to go back to their city.
Later, around May-June period I would get busy with working additional hours to make some extra for the moving and also got busy with university stuff. K started hanging out with our mutual friend A more often. It was fine, only in July I would start feeling more excluded. We still texted each other almost all day and K would stream for me and play together after my shift.
Then I moved in with her and her other roommate for two weeks before our apartment was ready. I felt soo excluded and lonely because she would spend all her free time with A. I didn’t want to be obnoxious and just waited if she’d invite me to play with her. It got to the point that I talked to K’s roommate more than I did with her. I had to pull “ohhh I would love to play(the game I bought for her and it was “our” game) with you guys” several times before K actually invited me. And when she did she yelled at me for some stupid shit. We talked about it and forgot. Then when I was interested in the game again she suddenly decided that she doesn’t want to play it anymore. But played with the mutual friend often.
When the invited me to play new game for me and I would try to talk they would rarely answer. I got lost in the game and had to figure out where I need to go for 15 minutes. Because they ignored me everytime I asked where I should go.
Also some other occasions that I can’t remember well enough to describe right now.
Now it just feels weird. Like I’m really jealous all the time and don’t think we’re each others best friends even. I don’t think K cares anymore about me. I don’t think K wants to spend time with me. Conversations feels forced.
K often leaves me on delivered bc she’s too busy spending time with A and her university. She is a good friend and was there when I needed her. But lately I just feel sooo bitter and I don’t know how to fix it.
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* This article was originally published here
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