friends and family telling me i’m 30F unaware of red flags in 30M. what did i miss

I 30F Went back to a man 30M who previously chose another woman over me and now regret it

A few months ago I was on a dating site and I matched with someone. We had several phone call conversations over many weeks and they each lasted hours at a time and we agreed how rare it was to have someone you get along with so easily. We were compatible in pretty much everything. The only thing that concerned me was that he brought up the importance of physical attraction a lot more than anything. He told me he had told his friends about me and how he’d shared things he’s never shared to others before. I noticed he lied about a few lifestyle practices on his profile but otherwise nothing. As we were long distance we were scheduled to call again but then he suddenly told me he’d met someone new he was pursuing. I was disappointed but moved on

Recently I saw he was still on the site so without thinking much I swiped again on him. This time he asked me out and we talked for a few weeks before meeting up. again our talks were easy and compatible. When we met up the chemistry translated into person and he extended the date himself for a total of 7 hours. He kept saying how nervous he had been and how easy we get along and a few flirty comments. he’d told his friends again. One thing that was a bit concerning was that he mentioned women and friends in the past saying he had led them on because he was vulnerable with them. i’m not sure why he said that. After that time we left and I thought it had gone really well so I messaged him saying it’d be nice to do this again sometime. He then told me he just sees us as friends. I’m very good at gauging things normally but I really didn’t see this coming.

I need advice to move on because I didn’t see this coming. I am cordial with him and said goodbye nicely but I really regret going back to him - I felt quite insecure because it felt like I was a backup choice and his comments about attraction and looks made me quite self conscious.

TL:DR: 30F 30M What did I miss and how do I prevent situations like this happening again?

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