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Monday, October 16, 2023

Feeling insecure

Hello, this is hard for me to post, even anonymously because this is something I've never dealt with before and I am having a lot of difficulty getting through it. Please delete if not allowed. I'm just hoping that hearing from strangers might help me a bit more since hearing from some of my close friends didnt do much for me. About a month ago curiosity got the best of me and I used my boyfriend of 3 years laptop to see his Facebook account. I went through his activity and saw that he had looked at about 10 very pretty girls in the last 4 months (i couldnt keep going because i felt sick). He didn't like their pictures or did anything beyond that and he was very apologetic and remorseful when i asked him about it. However, this hurt me so much because I've never had the curiosity to look at other guys on Facebook so I couldn't understand why he would do that unless he feels like I'm not enough. My close guy friends (all of which are in relationships) told me and reassured me that all guys are like that, but I don't know if they only said that to make me feel better. This is the first time I've cared about what my partner is doing on social media, I've never really been in love before I guess. I forgave him and he deleted fb on his own accord but this event left me feeling very insecure and paranoid. I feel like maybe he is getting bored with me or there's something I don't have that he wants. I keep feeling like I'm not what he wants, no matter how much love and reassurance he gives me. I already hated my body but now I don't even want him to see me naked. I know time cures all but it's been a month and I'm actually feeling a bit worse. I would like to know if anyone here has experienced this and what did you do to get over it? Please don't tell me to break up with him, that's not going to happen at this moment, maybe in the future if I feel like I can't get past this. He is an amazing person and has never done anything on purpose to make me feel inadequate. If all men do these things then I feel like breaking up would be a mistake if my next partner will do the same, or worse. I am truly in love with this guy and this is the worst thing he's done.

TLDR: boyfriend was looking at pretty girls on Facebook and now I'm feeling insecure about my body and our relationship.

submitted by /u/klennon__
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