I (22F) found old provocative pictures in my bfs (25M) phone

I (22F) found old provocative pictures on my bfs (25M) phone

I found them by snooping on his phone but for context he told me I’m allowed to do it if I want. His phone broke and he’s using an old one so the pictures are from 4-3 years ago and it’s uploaded from Dropbox and has other random pictures in it, the pictures aren’t nudes but a past partner in bikinis or other stuff like that. I’m upset bc it’s in a folder that’s cover is a woman in a bikini so why didn’t he think of deleting them since it’s so showy, also what upsets me is my partner is an extremely jealous guy so if I put him in a similar situation he’d be very upset so I wish he’d think of me in his own terms too. I was upset with him for a whole day and I’m not sure how to feel now or what to do. I’m not completely innocent bc I have random nudes in my photos too bc I have so many pictures and they’re just randomly around there but for him it’s a specific folder he could’ve deleted. :/ I don’t know if I will be able to get over this.

TL;DR: I found a folder with some bikini pictures of a past partner in my bfs old phone that he didn’t delete and it made me upset

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How to tell my mum [70sF] that she's driving my sister [30sF] away?

I found out recently that my mum is sad that she does not have a strong connection with her daughter (my sister) and wants to be closer to her. The problem is that she often says things that are hurtful, especially about people's weight.

My sister is somewhat overweight and it is a sensitive subject for her; she blames my parents for causing her food issues in her teens, something she has been in therapy for. My mum has always been quite slim, and has her own issues with food that we trace back to our grandfather who was always teasing his wife about her weight. Mum is not that bad, she doesn't say things directly to my sister about her weight, but she will comment on other people being "fat" and "gross"; is quite obsessed with nutrition and will steer a conversation towards the subject; will make comments during meal times like "oh I could not possibly manage a dessert after all that" after a small main course.

My sister is not the kind of person who will directly confront her about it, but instead she keeps my mum at arm's length and never spends one-on-one time with her. In a group setting things are manageable but can get quite tense if the conversation turns to food, as it often does.

I think our mum is somewhere on the autism spectrum and doesn't quite realise how offensive she is being. I think my sister agrees but still can't bring herself to be direct about it.

Mum is only getting older and I worry that she will spend her final years without the sense of closeness that she wants from her daughter, and likewise my sister will miss out on being able to treasure her last years with her mum.

We're going on a group trip this weekend and I have some time alone with my mum beforehand, and I want to broach the subject but I have no idea how to do that without offending her or otherwise putting her on the defensive. In some ways it's not my place to interfere with their relationship but I also feel like I am the only person who can see what's happening and am in a position to try to make things better.

TL;DR What is the best way to put my mum in a receptive mood to take my advice ("stop offending your daughter with fatphobia/nutrition advice") in the way that it is intended?

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* This article was originally published here

Relationship Struggles: Seeking advice (22F)

Hello everyone, I'm a 22-year-old female who recently had a major disagreement with my 23-year-old boyfriend. It all stemmed from a Snapchat message from three years ago, and I could really use some advice.

Here's the backstory: We've been officially together for three years, but we were talking for a year before that. One night at a party, a question was asked during a drinking game that caused a huge fight between us. Despite my attempts to downplay it, my boyfriend had a hard time trusting me afterward. Another incident occurred when I reached out to a lecturer for help with a software issue. Even though I made it clear I was in a committed relationship, my boyfriend accused me of flirting.

To regain his trust, I went to extreme lengths, like blocking men on social media when they want to request to follow me ,to constantly reassuring him. But despite my efforts, trust remains an issue.

In the most recent argument, about three weeks ago, my boyfriend stumbled upon an old Snapchat message from three years ago probably just before our relationship or the beginning, might even be from the short period me and my boyfriend had a very small minor break up . Despite my explanation that I didn't even recall having the person on Snapchat, let alone a message, he struggled to believe me. This followed a situation a week prior where a this same man,who is somewhat of a local celebrity, liked some of my old Instagram pictures, prompting me to express discomfort to my boyfriend. Despite my efforts to be transparent, the trust issues persist, leaving us both at an impasse. He called all 3 of these fight infidelity based on my part.

I feel stuck. My emotions are being disregarded when i try speak to him , all he cares about is how i hurt him, and I'm tired of constantly trying to prove myself ,when i know i didn't do anything wrong. My boyfriend says he knows intellectually that I haven't been unfaithful, but emotionally, he struggles to believe it. He's asked for space, but I'm not sure if I should continue trying to fix things alone (per his request, that because i broke it i should fix it ) or consider taking a break. Because I'm angry and hurting too

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

TL;DR

Hey everyone,

I'm a 22-year-old female seeking advice about trust issues with my 23-year-old boyfriend. It all started with an old Snapchat message and has escalated from there. Despite my efforts to reassure him and be transparent, trust remains a problem.

I feel stuck and unheard when trying to communicate my feelings. My boyfriend struggles to believe I've been faithful, even though he acknowledges it intellectually. He's asked for space, leaving me unsure whether to keep trying to fix things alone or consider taking a break.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

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GF(21) just brokeup with me(22M) due to boundaries being constantly overstepped.

Hey Guys, im in a bit of pickle rn. My girlfriend(ex now maybe idk) and I had been dating for a year and 3-4 months now. We both were invested in this relationship for the long run with hopes to get married within 3-4 years after my Master’s degree.

This wasn’t your usual relationship with empty words and promises like those of teenage relationships. Her main problem is disrespect during arguments. I was raised very differently compared to her so stuff that was normal to me was incredibly hurtful to her. She said from day 1 she can’t handle disrespect and I reassured her I’d work on it, and I did improve quite a lot but it’s not nearly finished yet. Our main problem is when we argue, we’re unable to resolve things calmly and more often than not stufff gets escalated to the point where it turns into a bad fight.

I know communication is an integral part of a relationship and she’d been tolerating me working on this but seems to have given up for the time being. Our chemistry and vibes are off the charts and I don’t doubt for a second that what we have/had is real considering the fact that I’ve been in around 7-8 relationships by now. She’s basically asked for space and distance but has called it a breakup. It seems I took her for granted and thought she’d always stick around which was a huge error on my part and the fact that It took a breakup to make me realise this is pretty shitty.

Im genuinely broken without her and I don’t want to go on in life without her. I’ve respected her wishes and told her I’ll be taking time to work on myself personally, to make sure that I get rid or this problem completely and that I’ll wait for her however long she needs because she’s the only girl I want my best self to be with. The place where I need advice now is for the people who have broken up and gotten back together eventually, Did you all give your partners a fair second chance? How long before you guys realised it’s not worth letting go and should be atleast tried to make it work again before completely giving up? And if you did get back together, were things better than before? Were you glad you gave it a second shot? Thankyou for reading and I look forward to what you guys have to say! TL;DR: My girlfriend brokeup with me because of constantly overstepping boundaries and Im not sure she’ll be coming back.

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girl I’m dating suddenly distant, how should I respond to last text she sent me?

So I’ve been dating a girl for the past 2 weeks. Both of us are in our 30’s. We’ve had 4 dates, and I feel we have a genuine connection. We shared a lot about our lives, all the dates went well. She’s scared of commitment and super busy with work. She’s currently in medical residency. We’ve been intimate already couple of times.

All of a sudden she’s acting more distant. Called her last night and texted her after saying “hey I just called to say hello, call me back whenever.” and no response. She texted me the next day saying she’s been busy with work stuff lately and that she hopes I’m having a good week. She has anxiety and gets overwhelmed easily.

So it seems she’s pulling back. I don’t know why. Here’s my question:

I’m going to give her space. But Do I text her back to acknowledge her text to me?

Something like “hey, I completely understand- let me know if things free up for you this weekend, maybe we can catch a comedy show?”

Or leave it more open-ended? Something like “hey I completely understand, let me know if things free up for you”

Or no response at all to her text?

I’m planing on not reaching out after and respecting her space.

What do you guys think??

TLDR: girl I’m dating suddenly distant, how should I respond to last text she sent me?

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Dragon's Dogma 2 Romance: Is There Relationships? - Turtle Beach Blog

Dragon's Dogma 2 Romance: Is There Relationships?  Turtle Beach Blog

* This article was originally published here

[25F] Do I have conflict resolution backwards?

Two times I have been immediately dumped over opening a conflict. It did NOT involve yelling, verbal abuse or ultimatums. More like "Your (woman) friend is acting a little inappropiate towards you. Can we talk about this?". In both cases, I didn't want them to stop hanging out-or even hang out less, I just wanted to be reassured and taken into consideration. Not that I actually got to expressing the last sentence-they both went into overdrive "OMG OMG you're possessive, I need to get out of this ASAP " territory.

Now, when I look at other relationships around me-they seem to solve their conflicts in a much more emotional/primal manner i.e. He sometimes doesn't answer the phone? She will intentionally not answer the phone. I personally find this immature, but it seems to work. Also, one thing that makes me insecure is the fact that one of ex's exes would actually yell and throw things around the house whenever she got jealous. THAT you can handle without considering her possessive, but an attempt at a mature conversation drives you over the edge?

With another ex...whenever HE was upset about something, I would say "I never thought this would bother you. I will stop doing this in the future"(and I did). He HATED it. He called it lawyer talk. His ex would never, ever change behavior(at least not long term), but she would get guilty/sad/generally emotional if he brought up something she did that bothered him. He didn't say it specifically, but it was clear he much preferred it.

I consider myself an empathetic and emotionally open person. Maybe I don't show it enough? Maybe my experience is very particular and not applicable further than those particular people? Is there something deeper? I don't know.

TL;DR It seems like guys prefer you act over emotional rather than rational when something bothers you. It confuses me, since it seems to go against everything we would be thought in a, say, conflict resolution class.

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