Help! Cheating 53m on girlfriend 50f with me.

Long story shortened… I’ve 50f been separated from my husband 50m for four years. We had an agreement to separate, but stay in one household for the kids. We were allowed to date. I was not looking but of course that’s when it hits… I found someone. But not just someone, definitely my soulmate. He was also separated at the time. He was eager to move forward together and finalized his divorce right away. While I loved him, I wasn’t ready to finalize my divorce because of my kids. So we were on and off for three years. I finally felt ready this summer and of course at that exact time, he met another woman. They started dating and he kept saying as soon as I was in the divorce process he’d be there for me. We continued our relationship but the other woman didn’t know. And still doesn’t six months later. He said she was a Plus One for holiday parties, etc, but that was it. Well, his feelings grew and now he’s choosing her over me. I want her to know that he’s been lying and cheating on her, but I don’t want to be the one to reveal it. I have messages, cards, etc but how do I do this without her “shooting the messenger”. Anonymously won’t work bc it will be obvious it’s me based on all the texts. Any ideas? And no judgment please.
TL;DR my love got tired of waiting for me to get divorced and started dating someone I know. Yet he hasn’t cut things off with me. How do I tell her?

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Is it valid for me [25F] to want a stay at a hotel from my boyfriend [21M], because he did it for one-night-stands?

Yesterday I [25F] found out that my boyfriend [21M] of four months had paid for a night at a hotel with a girl he never did anything again with, and that he used to do it before we met. He never did it for me, and that makes me upset. He says he loves me, and that when he is in a relationship, he splits everything (which I have no problem with). To me, the issue is that I never got any sort of special treatment, but a one-night-stand got it. It makes me feel « less than ».

I tried to tell him this, but I could instantly tell he did not want to do it. He said yes initially, so I asked him more questions about why this change of heart. The conversation devolved into whether he did anything for me (nothing that wasn’t reciprocated, which is fine), and now he says he does not want to do it.

Am I invalid here? I know it sucks now that I had to ask, but it really is a dealbreaker for me, no matter my high opinion of him or the feelings I have for him.

TLDR: I feel disgusted by the fact that my boyfriend will pay for one-night-stands, but not for me. Is that valid ?

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Love Island's Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan prioritise relationship over fame - Yahoo Movies UK

Love Island's Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan prioritise relationship over fame  Yahoo Movies UK

* This article was originally published here

Sister has admitted to liking the guy who now likes me

My sister (24F) and I (27F) are really closed, we work together an have similar friend groups. I’ve recently gotten out of a long term relationship that I had physically and mentally left months prior. This last week at work I was told by a male co worker that his friend thinks I’m attractive and would like to get to know me but it to shy to make the fist move so k was just feeling out if I would be interested ( his friend wasn’t aware he was telling me this). I left it open and admitted I was attracted to him but didn’t know him enough to really tell at this time as we hadn’t had many conversations but was open to get to know him. A lot of fellow co workers heard about this and were talking about it, which eventually got around to my sister. My sister had admitted to me in the past she thought he was attractive, had good quality’s an would make a great boyfriend but never admitted to me that she liked him or anything serious like that. I figured she may have had a crush but a lot of the girls on the crew did for him plus she would talk to me about other guys she liked so didn’t think much of it. Once she found out about this she confronted me and asked about it. I was honest with her and she then admitted her feelings for him, saying she’s been trying to get to know him ( even during the time I was still with my ex) and had a couple of times messaged as friends about work and life. She knew it was a friends level but was hoping to eventually progress. So she was kind of hurt his feelings were expressed for me. Now, she’s known him longer and obviously gotten to know him more but he’s got feelings for me( he has yet to do anything about it though). I told my sister I would back off and let it play out for her but I feel after her knowing him for 6 months and nothing has happened it may not for her an I’ll loose my chance. I love my sister an she will always come first in this situation but I can’t help but feel a little let down that I have to step back when it’s me he’s interested in but I also understand my sister’s situation. What should I do, and how should I deal with it if the guys asked me out. I don’t want to hurt my sister an I don’t know this guy as well as her but he’s definitely the type of guy I would get to know typically

TLDR; Sister likes the same guy that likes me. She knows him more and has spent more time with him but feels havnt been shared with him or reciprocated so far. A male co worker shared with me that this certain guy likes me but is to shy to confront me straight away about it. My sister heard about this an told me she felt hurt an expressed her feelings for me which is wasn’t fully aware of. I have told her I would back off an see if something eventuates for them but I can’t help but feel a little hurt and sad I won’t get to know him now. What do I do if he asks me out and how do I get over feeling this way?

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* This article was originally published here

My GF (18F) is saying that I (18M) cheated because i was interacting with a girl she’s uncomfy with

My girlfriend of 1 year and 4 months broke up exactly one week ago, just a few days before our monthsary

now, this March i participated in a prom in our school, and i happen to be partnered with a girl (let’s call her Zoe) who has tons of issues at our school (issues being a sidechick and flirty even to guys who has a gf) know that i didn’t choose to be her partner because our school was the one who chosed it and the girls that my girlfriend is comfy with were already taken.

now little trivia about our relationship, ever since january, she’s been stubborn up until march, one of those things she was being stubborn about was her not telling exactly what she feels at the moment and playing mind games, note that she was the one who brought that up in the first place saying that, whenever we have a prob at each other, we’ll tell it right away and it bothers me so much when she lets me guess whats wrong instead of telling it right away.

now back to the prom thing, the day i got in a partner with Zoe i told my girlfriend right away that she was my partner for prom, at first she was upset but she didn’t tell it directly and i kept asking her what’s wrong but she says nothing, it got to the point where we argued because she didn’t follow our rules in the relationship, that being her saying what’s causing her to be acting that way instead of saying harsh things about the situation and she didnt reply to me anymore and i got fed up so i didnt talk to her too we edned up not talking for three days it was more like she gave me a silent treatmeant because she just seen mylast message

the next day it was start of practice, at first i was being distant to her, everything was smooth, but bit by bit knowing she’s very flirty around guys she find attractive, she starts interacting with me, do note i never initiate contact first and that whenever she interacts with me i keep it short and briefly. and as days go by, the way she interacts with me just keep increasing and increasing, to the point where we both start laughing at the same things. i’m interacting with her too because as a person who is very socializing at school and has lots of close friends in different grade levels, i try to not come off as rude because i dont like going to school that im in bad terms with. i never liked her nor was i interested with her, i was just being civil and just matching her energy but in a way that’s matchy matchy you know?

now when me and my girlfriend started texting again i just told her i had small interactions with Zoe i didnt detailed it all the way. she even said that i was laughing with her while she was holding me and such but in reality, we both know the music is gonna start for practice so we we’re already holding each hands, it just so happens that i was laughing with her while there’s body contact. again i’m interacting with her back not because i like her, but because i’m just trying to avoid issues around school and because i have anxiety when people talk about me in a bad way.

but other than that, there was no other interactions between me and Zoe outside practice and we didn’t talked in social media either. but i am wrong for thinking for myself instead of my girlfriend who is now my ex. i could have just avoided all her interactions knowing that my partner is uncomfy with Zoe, now she’s ranting on ig notes, stories, reposts and such that i’m a cheater mainly because i failed to think of my girlfriend feelings and that i was protecting zoe’s feelings not my girlfriend. there was also after prom that she followed request me on instagram and i followed her back another mistake that i failed to think what my partner would feel but ofcourse i cut off the mutuals and assured my girlfriend that there is nothing between me and zoe and showed our conversations which was nothing. what do you guys think? is it considered cheating?

tl;dr my girlfriend who is now my ex called me cheater because i interacted with a girl she is not comfy with and is ranting on social media that im a cheater.

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either they’re leading me on or i’m going crazy. i don’t know what to do

tldr; guy (i think) is leading me on but claims to only see me as a friend. not sure where to go from here, they’re the only person i’ve ever truly loved

never thought i’d have to come to reddit for advice but i’m desperate here. i met this guy studying abroad in england couple years ago, and we got really really close. even that is an understatement honestly. we both cared deeply for each other but as time went on we started talking less (distance and what not). eventually though i moved to his city (not for him just coincidence) so we’ve reconnected in ways.

when we started talking more i wanted to have a serious conversation to clarify what ‘we’ were. since throughout our weird relationship he’d say things like i love you, but then later would take it back. and then add that he meant it platonically. i’m oversimplifying since i don’t want to go super into detail.

as for how i felt about it, i was exhausted. it was such an intense relationship and i was always so confused by why he was saying or doing the things he did. it was honestly like a mental tug of war.

so i called them and explained my thought process, pointing out all the things he’s said and done that are making me believe that our relationship wasn’t just platonic. more importantly i needed to know who i was to them. they said i was their best friend.

ah yea. a best friend who has been your wallpaper screen for 2 years, your “best friend” who you invited over for thanksgiving to meet their family, who you bought a valentine’s day gift (with hearts chocolate and flowers might i add), buying them expensive gifts and paying for their meal, who you tell “you give me a feeling stronger than love”, and then says there’s nothing going on?

i brought up the valentine’s day gift. i told him it was making me uncomfortable, because (yes i clarified) he said it was 100% platonic and “a joke”.

he disagreed with everything i said. he said how love was sacred to me(?? how is that related) and he should have known sooner. and then said that i had an insecurity i wasn’t telling him about. said he grew up with valentine’s day being a time for him to give loving presents to his friends. he talked about how the gifts weren’t expensive. said something about how it shouldn’t matter if we were just friends. and then said i was priceless and my company was all enough for him.

i realize this is like. a million red flags in one. but i guess im still in denial. i really loved this person. they were incredibly smart moral and actually understood me. perhaps i’m naive. but i cant explain all the nuances that went down in a reddit post.

i guess my question is that is it worth it to try to communicate this more to work it out? or should i just cut my losses. or hell i dont even know maybe i did something wrong too.

sorry for such a long post. thank you for anyone who took the time to read it. any advice is appreciated :)

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I (19F) jealous of fiance (21M) going out with friends

My fiance (21M) and I (19F) have been together for almost 2 years. We did long distance for a year as i am from Chicago and he is from Bosnia. We have definitely gotten past the honeymoon stage and are talking about our futures more seriously. We are in the process of a fiance visa for him to join me in the states. Because of this big step, i decided to take advantage of my online classes and spend the year in Bosnia with him. My family has an apartment here and so I do not currently live with him.

Here’s the issue, he works full time and so we see each other 1-2 a week. He struggles to find time to see me as often as I would like given I am a naturally anxious person. I need constant affirmation and check ins not because I don’t trust him but because of childhood trauma. Because of this, I can definitely come across as jealous especially because I sometimes get upset when he hangs out with friends rather than come and see me.

I fully trust him and cheating definitely is not on my mind in the slightest but I feel like because we’re so close to the big step of marriage, he’d make himself more available for me.

Id also like to mention that I am fully aware that we are both very young for marriage but this is not the topic of this post.

In regards to his friends, many our my family members who we met through. The issue with this is that many of those family members talk to my fiances ex and so she makes appearances at hangouts. In a way she definitely makes me a little uncomfortable with him going out even while knowing they do not speak to one another or have a relationship.

Any advice on controlling my emotions?

TL;DR Insecure about fiance hanging out with friends rather than seeing me especially right before taking big step and getting married. We see each other about 1-2 times a week because he works and is often tired after. What can I do about being less jealous and insecure when I’m not his main priority?

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