How can I (27F) change my boyfriend’s (29M) relationship with his mom into a normal one?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He’s a very loving, caring, soft-hearted man who cherishes and respects me, and so many other amazing traits that made me fall in love with him and turn a blind eye to the issue.

Now to the issue: when we met he had no job, and he was fine with it. In our culture you stay in your parents house until you’re married, so he was living with his parents money, he was 24 at the time so i found it weird that he’s still using his parents money, but i kept finding excuses to him in my mind.

Later in the relationship, i found him a job suitable for his lack of experience, and he’s in that job ever since. He started to think about the future and how he can improve himself and find another job that pays much, but he only talks and never does anything to make that happen. I’m in HR so i have connections, and i tried to find him a job at a better place but he said he’s afraid he wouldn’t like the new place and he’s afraid they wouldn’t like him and eventually fire him and he ends up with no job.

When i finally woke up and realized something is wrong here, i immediately linked his behavior to his relationship with his mother. His relationship with his mother is so weird to me, and I can’t understand it, they’re attached to each in a way a 3 year old is attached to his mother, and vise versa. When he’s at his job, she texts him constantly, and he does too. Sometimes he screenshots the texts between them and I cringe reading it! She tells him that she misses him so much and that the house is so dark and depressing without him there, and that she’s crying because she misses him and can’t wait for him to get back. He shows the chat to me with pride saying that his mother loves him so much and that he’s so grateful to having her, but all that does to me is making me feel weird!

She cuddles and kisses him on the forehead and cheeks, tells him how handsome of a man he is, and how much she loves him.

He never goes to the doctor without her, even if it’s something minor, and whenever we’re on a date, she constantly texts him if the foos is good, and if he arrived to the place safely (WHAT?), and when is he coming back home. The last straw was when i found out that he doesn’t go to the barber and that his mom cuts his hair for

How can i change that? How can i explain to him that their relationship is not healthy, and that it will take a toll on ours, and that the consequences of their attachment to each other is harming his life and his future? Should i just leave him because he’s a lost cause? Or is here any hope that i can change him?

Tl;dr: my boyfriend’s relationship with his mom is like a 3 year old and his mom. They’re attached to each other in an unhealthy way, which made him grow to be a big child, not able to be responsible. How can i change him into being a man and make him detach from her?

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F19 and hypersexual

1, F19, have been in a loving and committed relationship for about 9 months now with my bf M18. I need help, it's been discussed a lot of times now and it's been object for most of our fights but I'm a hypersexual woman (due to past trauma) and feel the need to be wanted intimately in order to feel loved. He is a sweet, empathetic and emotionally intelligent man but ever since we had a big fight he completely stopped being sexual with me and that caused me some issues like overthinking etc. Once I confronted him about it, nothing changed. We had fights over fights and he said he was working on it but still, after a lot of months, didn't initiate anything. How can I even fix this aspect of our relationship? The rest of it is absolutely beautiful and I love this man more than anything but by not acknowledging my needs, I feel unwanted and miserable

TL,DR: I yearn intimacy in order to feel wanted and it causes fights between me and my bf

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Guy (23M) I’m (24F) casually dating is on a lads holiday, should I expect him to message me?

I’ve been dating this guy for just over 3 months now. We haven’t had the talk about what we are, as I knew he’s going on this lads holiday to Ibiza so didn’t want to bring it up before he goes. It’s an expensive holiday and notorious for partying so I know what he will be getting up to, so I didn’t want to pressure him before it.

He stayed over on Sunday night and was making jokes about how I’ll be at home missing him whilst he’ll be dancing, and that I can’t see him for a while now (he’s there for 9 days), and he was kissing me loads before he left to say goodbye. He’s not contacted me since he left mine that morning, and usually he messages me later the same day. He flies out today and I’m wondering if he’ll even message me at all whilst he’s away.

As we’re not exclusive or anything, I know I can’t really expect anything from him. But I can’t help but feel like it would be disrespectful if he doesn’t message me once the whole time he’s away, and that I should just cut him off and move on in that case? I guess I’m just in two minds and not sure how i should handle the situation. If I don’t expect anything from him and he doesn’t contact me the whole time then we just go back to normal when he’s back, would that just be me being taken advantage of and not respected by him? I guess I see it as him not messaging shows I’m not on his mind at all and he’s not being considerate of my feelings (as he acknowledged that I’ll be missing him)

Obviously we haven’t had the talk and I know that. A couple weeks ago he was being slow on his messages (as in a few days at a time) and I told him if he’s going to put no effort into speaking to me then I won’t be interested anymore. He apologised and explained he stuff going on, but agreed he shouldn’t leave it so long. I said he just needs to communicate and let me know that. So I have voiced how I feel about effort in messaging.

I just want advice really on what I can rightly expect and react in this situation, whether he messages me or doesn’t at all.

TL;DR Dating guy for 3 months but not had the talk yet about exclusivity etc. He’s just flown out for a holiday to Ibiza with friends for 9 days. Last saw him on Sunday night when he stayed the night at my house, and he’s not contacted me since. Don’t know if I’m right to feel disrespected if he doesn’t message me at all, or if I shouldn’t expect anything and be okay with no contact and continuing as normal when he’s back.

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I (23M) cheated on my long distance partner (23NB). What do I do now?

They have bipolar and they broke up with me a while back due to a manic episode. And we didn't talk for a few weeks.
It's a common event and it happens almost monthly.

They always come back and things get better only for another episode and then they break up etc.

This time something happened idk.

In that time, in a moment of self destruction I went to those subs where you can meet and talk to people.

I never did anything sexual there even though I could have. I really just talked to people and wanted someone's company.

We started talking again. Have been for a few days now.

They initiated the contact after another round of anger, shouting, blaming me for their episodes and things I have 0 control over.

And we had the same fight again. They're medicated but it's not working, they're still having the same issues but only slightly less intense. They're ignoring all the guidelines and therapist advice about stress and exercise. I tell them to stop putting so much pressure on becoming famous and making money. Please just get better. I've been doing this song and dance for 3 years now.

And in those three years, they never did.

The only thing they're doing for their mental health is watching motivational videos and taking their meds. They make big grandoise promises about how they'll make it this time. How this business will make it up and how they just need X amount of money to join some new MLM.

And this time something snapped in me.

I went did sexual things with people on those subs and the websites where you can do online exhibitionism.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know if I love them.

But I don't wanna hurt them.

But I'm so tired of them shouting at me and blaming me and never taking responsibility for their episodes.

I was lonely and I wanted someone to just appreciate me.

I fucked up.

That's not the way to do it.

What do I do now?

I want to breakup, and I mostly will. But how do I communicate that I'm not leaving because they have bipolar but because of how they make it my problem?

Tldr- partner with bipolar is negligent and takes it out on me. Fucked by going to Omegle like websites for sexual stuff.

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* This article was originally published here

I (19F) think my boyfriend (22M) is gay or bi

First of all, let me clarify I have no problem with any LGBT+ people. The issue here is that my (19F) boyfriend (22M) is extremely homophobic to the point that even if we are in public and he sees for example a gay advertisement or a gay couple he tells me that he is so disgusted by them, etc. He is a conservative in every way possible, however, I found transgender and male-only porn on his phone. Normally I wouldn't care about this but we never have sex, I'm the one that always initiates intimacy and he rarely wants to be with me, I feel like all the porn he consumes (6 different apps for it) is what leads him having a low libido and not even finding me attractive anymore. I don't know how to bring this problem up, every time we try to talk about this or if I imply that with his homophonic commentaries, he is in reality projecting he ALWAYS denies denies denies. He plays dumb and denies everything, I asked him if he uses Reddit to watch porn, and, sweared to god he didn't.

Should I bring this up? Should I confront him? If so how? What do you think?

tl;dr homophobic bf might be closeted gay/bi

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Don’t want to go to Europe

I’m 40m and girlfriend is 49f… dating for over a year. GF’s well-off friend is turning 50 and rented a villa in Europe for the occasion. It’s in a party town and we all like dance music. Four couples are sharing the cost of this villa.

I don’t want to go. Birthday girl and I haven’t ever hit it off because this whole friend group is selfish, vapid and money focused.

It’s also 11 days which is an insane amount of time to go anywhere (I’m not well traveled though)

The people sharing the villa are intolerable to me too. Problem is that if I don’t go, my girlfriend will likely be sharing our room with some rich dude (not guaranteed but i’m rarely wrong about things like this.)

Do I cough up like $10k to go on this trip? I feel like there’s a gun to my head and I’d be way anxious if she went without me.

TL;DR- I don’t want to go to a destination birthday with a bunch of lizards.

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Has anybody ever wondered if there partner might be too good for them?

Hi, I, a 60 ish year old male, once fell in love with a 57 year old lady. I possibley made the relationship difficult for both of us by being insecure about my own value and sense of self worth. I get compliments all the time and am regarded very highly by other people.

She was a fantastic person although anyone who knows her would say she is reserved. Make that very reserved. So although she was very affectionate, she would never verbalise it.

In any case, I used to wonder about this issue and I wondered how anyone else might have dealt with it?

tdlr Has anyone wondered about there parner being too good for them and how did you handle it?

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