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Sunday, February 6, 2022

Thursday, February 3, 2022

‘It stopped me having sex for a year’: why Generation Z is turning its back on sex-positive feminism

The movement championed the right to enjoy sex and was supposed to free women from guilt or being shamed. But now many are questioning whether it has left them more vulnerable

Lala likes to think of herself as pretty unshockable. On her popular Instagram account @lalalaletmeexplain, she dishes out anonymous sex and dating advice on everything from orgasms to the etiquette of sending nude pictures. Nor is the 40-year-old sex educator and former social worker (Lala is a pseudonym) shy of sharing her own dating experiences as a single woman.

But even she was perturbed by a recent question, from a woman with a seven-year-old daughter who had caught her new partner watching “stepdaughter” porn involving teenage girls. Was that a red flag?

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* This article was originally published here

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

My boyfriend (26) won't let me (24) have friends.

Throwaway because he knows my main account.

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for four years now and for the majority of it I haven't had any external relationships. I have a couple of friends, however I rarely see them because it visibly upsets him when I do. He doesn't want to have these feelings, but they never get better and I avoid spending time with people to not deal with his mood swings. He has tried clinical help and it has not worked for him. My family has visited me once in the last 4 years and he avoided them the entire time they visited. He can't handle being around my family and has never come with me on a holiday to see them. It's not that he dislikes them, he just can't handle being around people he "knows", strangers are fine though. He doesn't have any friends of his own and refuses to make them. He also has some pretty serious anger issues. I wouldn't call him abusive, but he has broken things and gotten irrationally angry at me over things that don't matter.

I recently asked him to go on a trip with me somewhere and mentioned I wanted to spend a day meeting up with one of my friends and he got mad and shut it down. He said that I would be wasting a day if I did that and it would be pointless to go. He can't handle me being gone for more than a day at a time or he can't be productive.

I have tried countless times to talk with him through his issues (I've glossed over some for the sake of brevity and identifying situations), but to no avail. I've urged him to talk to therapists or go through a program to work through his opinions of friendships and his feelings of other people in his life having friendships, but the times he has tried it doesn't work. I feel so lost, because I love him and I want him to grow as a person; but it feels like I can't do anything else to help him. I am really struggling over this and I hate feeling guilty everytime I start a phone call with my family or a friend. I don't know what to do anymore.

I am so sorry if this is convoluted or poorly written, I'm not in a good headspace at the moment.

TLDR: Boyfriend doesn't let me have friends or make friends of his own and it's damaging our relationship. He doesn't outright tell me not to have friends, but his body language, anger, and actions towards me say it.

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* This article was originally published here

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

How we met: ‘I was looking for new hair – new me. The salon booked me in with JP’

Iona, 27, and JP, 31, were both recently single when she went to the hairdressers looking for a fresh look in 2019. Now they are married and live in south London

When Iona stepped into the hairdressing salon in 2019, she was hoping for a fresh look after a break-up. “I was going for the new hair, new me thing,” she says. “There was a bit of summer left and I thought I could still be hot and sexy.” She had been going to the same salon for a few years, but usually had her hair cut by a female stylist. “She wasn’t working when I wanted to go, so they booked me in with JP instead as he was the only stylist free,” she says.

When Iona arrived, she was struck by how attractive JP was. They chatted as he cut her hair, bonding over their shared love of music. “I’d seen her around before,” says JP. “I remember thinking she was beautiful. We realised we’d been at the same small festival in France earlier that summer. It turned out we’d been in the same room quite a few times, but never spoken.”

Want to share your story? Tell us a little about yourself, your partner and how you got together by filling in the form here.

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* This article was originally published here