Help me(m22) pls, I can't stop thinking about her (f20)

I am suffering emotionally. I've been single for the past month, and I definitely have moved on from the end of the relationship. The problem here is that even though I'm not dwelling on the sad ending of my past relationship, I'm stuck on this wonderful lady I've known for a little over a year.

She's more than a lady, she's a DEAR friend of mine, whose conversations, attention, and time I can't ever seem to get enough of. In my bed on sleepless nights, I drift between various thoughts in my head; the thought of me being her man is a recurring one, and one I can't seem to suppress. I started folding origami cranes when I'm lost in thought about her. It's hardly been two weeks and I'm averaging 2 cranes a day.

I know there's a "no-date" window when it comes to recently single people, plus I KNOW that I need to focus on myself. All I can say is, it'll be months before I can see her in person; if she ends up in a relationship before then, no matter my circumstances, I will be HURT. I would be supportive, however.

I'm writing this post so I can avoid the urge to text her. It used to be that I could talk to her freely and look forward to chatting again. Now I fear she'll grow tired of me and will no longer want me as a friend. Once I find the date of when I get to see her again, it'll be marked on the calendar. Until then, I'll treasure her in my memory and in any brief conversation we have; so that when the time comes I can treasure her in person, like I couldn't do when we first met over a year ago.

Its times like these I hope to God women aren't lying to me about the friendzone being a myth.

TLDR: I have a massive crush on a distant friend. I cannot stop thinking about her; I know I'll see her in person soon. I just hope I can see her soon enough so I can tell her.

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* This article was originally published here

How we met: ‘She was bloody gorgeous. As soon as she said hello, I knew I was in trouble’

Andy, 46, and Shalini, 39, met six years ago at a Christmas fair on the Caribbean island of Curaçao. They plan to move in together soon

In 2016, finding love was the last thing on Andy’s mind. A scuba diving accident four years earlier had left him with a spinal cord injury, and his primary focus was recovery. “I am from Curaçao and there isn’t much social security here, so I’d moved back in with my parents for support,” he says. “I spent my time blogging about life with disability and I set up a business selling lanterns made from recycled cans, to make some extra money.”

That December, Andy was invited to a Christmas fair to sell his products. After he set up his stall, he saw a woman behind him, who had arrived late. “Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed she was bloody gorgeous,” he says. Throughout the event, he tried to avoid speaking to her. “I’m a sensitive person and knew I didn’t want to fall for anyone at that time,” he says.

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* This article was originally published here

He wants to convert to Islam

I (25,F) have been seeing this guy (25,M), who is a very kind and lovely person for a couple of weeks. He treats me very respectfully and we seem to have great chemistry. He even gifted me a sentimental necklace, which is something no man has ever done for me. I have been wishing to find a serious man who shows effort and commitment.

Now on to the issue: I am an atheist who left my church and has no plans on having religion in an active form in my life. He used to be an atheist as well until a few years ago (now he believes in god) and wants to convert to Islam. Part of his family comes from an Islamic country in Africa and he wants to fully connect with them through Islam. I have no issue with my partner believing in a higher power or being part of a religion especially if for instance his parents decided that for him as long as he is not practicing or a too devouted believer.

However, this is not the case here. The thing is, he told me that he is in fact planning on actively practicing Islam (No drinking, Praying, taking part in Ramadan, maybe stop eating pork,…). He would not expect me to convert or believe the same but that I respect and support his conversion and practice. What worries me is that he is very young and already so deeply motivated to becoming a part of a another religion and even would like to actively practice it. It makes me think it’s quite a bit a different scenario to beeing born into it and going along with it and I wonder if he could become more and more involved in the religion as time goes on.

Ultimately, I ended things with him because I do not think that I can support him the way he‘d wish/need me to. And I am very worried that since he will be a converted believer, who actively practices, his beliefs will only get stronger and stronger with time and age as I already mentioned.

However, I still regularly see him in our friends group and we do have great chemistry and I greatly appreciate the person he is. I am wondering if I overreacted and said goodbye to a possibly great match but I take relationships and religion extremely seriously and believe that it’s important to be on the same page when it comes to beliefs especially when actively practiced.

Would you have given it a serious long term shot if you had been in my position?

Tl;Dr I ended things with a guy I was seeing because he wants to convert and actively start practicing Islam

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* This article was originally published here

Am I anything to him? Im so confused

I (21F) have strong feelings for this guy (25M). Unfortunately i met him 2months ago, 5days before i moved abroad for studies :( When i met him for the first time it felt like i knew him for ages. We have had 10 dates so far. 4 days in a row before i moved. And 7 dates in a row last week when i was visiting home.

When im not around he doesnt text at all. I guess cuz there is no point. Unless i do ofc then he replies. He also never complimented me or expressed his feelings.

But when I was around, he already brought me to his office, introduced me to his colleagues, invited me to his friends hang out, trusted me with his house keys when i slept over and he had to leave early for work, he met my friends, and yeah he did go out with me days in a row...

TL;DR: We met very recently. He treats me like a gf but never unitiated or expressed anything...

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* This article was originally published here

Reconnecting with my EX

I dont want to hear that i shouldnt or things like that please.

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We were together for 1 year.

So obv we broke up...but not in a bad way she wanted to stay like a friend but i couldnt do that so i cut everything with her and then i started going on therapy that helped me change perspective about that. Now i can see that we can maybe rekindle our relationship and start again but there is small problem.

It was long distance relationship and we were connected through discord and i dont think that going to visit her is good idea rn. but now that we were not together anymore she found new friends on discord from diffrent contries so she is spending time with them and obv she cant just go and start doing all the activities that we used to do together again with me after few days(few days of texting her)...i need to reconnect somehow so we can talk more or text more but i dont know how to do that...i dont want to push her and spam her. I dont want to text her everyday so i dont feel pushy and needy + spamming her isnt good idea. But i kinda just dont want to text her once in a month. I would like to try reconnect slowly but im clueless how to do it

yesterday when we texted she said that she doesnt want to open to another person about her problems cuz others just refuse to "know her" ( i mean her fav things and so on) and that i was the only one who cared.

so i would like to ask you Reddit How should i proceed and not fuck up things? how should i not look needy and pushy and not annoying her with my texts?

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TL;DR! : We broke up i refused to be friends i cut all connection. i went to therapy and they changed my Prespective and now we are Reconnecting but i would like to ask you how to do it properly so i dont fuck things up,

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* This article was originally published here

Am I[28f] a bad person for cutting off my best friend[27f] for dating my ex[29m]

Earlier this year I had an opportunity of mine to see an ex at a bar he worked at, let’s call him Tom. Tom was a terrible partner but we had 8 years of on and off serious history and despite the fact a lot of it was bad he remains a very big part of my past. I had a lot of therapy following the breakup over the year after it stopped and have very much moved on in my life until he reached out.

Due to the nature of our relationship and how things ended I wasn’t comfortable seeing him alone at the bar he worked at and thought I’d run it by my best friend, let’s call her Louise. She offered to come with me and we would sit outside with our dogs and only really see him while he was serving so I could get whatever sort of closure I was looking for but so that I wouldn’t feel unsafe around him and I could use her as an excuse to leave. All in all everything was pleasant but after I left I had no intention of having contact again.

A few weeks later Louise causally mentions she was talking to Tom about a party she went to which completely blindsided me, I was curious as to why she had been talking to him as they had no reason to even be connected on social media and she made up an excuse about having some mutual friends. A few more weeks go by and it doesn’t get mentioned at all until all of a sudden it seems like every conversation Louise is bringing up Tom. At this stage I reiterate a TLDR version of the hell he put me through and advised that maybe he’s not someone she needs to maintain a friendship with and that it makes me uncomfortable hearing about him so much, but ultimately they’re both adults.

Apparently this wasn’t clear enough as a few weeks later she is still mentioning him and my old friend group and sharing stories to which I acknowledge yes I know all of these people they were in my life for years and hearing her talk about them and Tom made me very uncomfortable and that I wasn’t okay with her being friends with him or dating him. Louise says that she understands and that she will end it because I made it very clear that it would cost our friendship as I’m not okay with him being in my life even in the sidelines and she lets slip after much prodding that they were already sleeping together but that it would stop because she has too much respect for me to hurt me like that.

Louise starts dating her plan b and seems happy but in a conversation when we are hanging out I recommend she think about if she actually has feelings for him or if she’s just settling and using him as she seems very apathetic about their dates. After this I get a novel of a message from Louise after we had just finished hanging out. It outlined that despite my boundaries she wanted to continue to continue seeing Tom since she didn’t have real feelings for plan b but she hoped I could be happy for them. I tell her that our friendship is over because I don’t want Tom in my life and go scorched earth on social media.

The next day I get a message from h r saying she needs me in her life and she already misses me so much and that no matter if I let her back in or don’t she will get Tom out of her life because of the respect she has for me and our friendship.

I replied saying I needed to sleep on it and today I get a message saying she’s going to drop something off, and while I’m eating dinner she does. It’s a photo album of all of our adventures with our dogs and the last page says she wishes we can fill up with more memories. I take o a moment to process and send her a message thanking her for the book and asking how Tom took the friendship ending. She said she didn’t do it but she loves me so much and wants me back in her life despite dating Tom. I replied with no uncertain terms that the friendship is dead.

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* This article was originally published here

Married(37m) in love with my boss(55f)

Okay, here we go... I(37m) have been working for my boss(55f) for 5 years. Very intelligent woman, married, beautiful, mother of 4 and in a wheelchair for 15 years. I haven't stopped thinking about her since the first day I started working with her, I've been living with my wife (36f) for 4 years, we have a son (2), we have a good relationship but I see "us" more and more as a routine, I know that it doesn't help my relationship to always have my boss on my mind, and this surprises me, I've had a healthy dose of relationships, casual sex, friends with benefits and even compared to my current relationship I've never been in love to this extent.

It is planned on January 2nd that I will go to work elsewhere within the organization, a promotion to use my new degree, I have been miserable, I will earn more salary, but I am sad that I will no longer see and talk to her every day, that she wont be confiding things in me, asking me for kisses and hugs when she is sad or when the spinal injury gives her even more pain than usual. I can only imagine myself with this perfectly imperfect woman and my son.

TL;DR - Married in love with a much older women that i can't take out of my minde and it's destroying my relationship.

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* This article was originally published here