Singledom, friends and contentment

I currently have a gf (28f) but she isn't the one (or a one) and I need to end it. It will destroy her, but long-term she'll be better off. This post isn't about that though.

My core group of friends involves 3 married guys and 1 who I'm 95% sure will marry his current gf. 1 of the mates just had a baby, another mate has one on the way. They all seem to do exciting stuff with their partners, go on holidays etc. I currently have 9 weeks annual leave saved up because I never go on a holiday. Feels increasingly like I have little in common with them.

I basically just work (which includes a lot of travel). I personally wouldn't date me, I'm fairly shut off, have what would be described as an avoidance attachment style and I'm not good at expressing my emotions.

I love hanging out with my mates occasionally, but part of me also thinks I'd be happier/consistently neutral if I just worked and watched TV on weekends and cut them out.

I just needed to vent. Feeling lost after catching up with them on the weekend.

Tl;Dr: do I cut out my mates from my life so I can live my life in neutral?

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* This article was originally published here

My [23M] partner [23F] is going travelling for a year - feel hopeless and anxious

We [23M and 23F] have been together for 1 year, and in a few omnths they will be moving country for a year for a working holiday.

The distance would be huge - a 20 hour flight and an 8 hour time difference, which makes it even harder to communicate via call/message

I am very upset by this and it's hard to not feel a bit angry at being left behind

My GF wants to stay together during this time and do a long distance relationship, and believes it can work. I am much more hesitant, but at the same time it feels impossible to break up as our relationship is so good otherwise.

I don't hopeful at all that we would manage to stay happy during this time. I know I will struggle with the lack of physical connection, be worried about her meeting someone else, and overall just find it very hard.

But we love eachother a lot and enjoy being together so much, that I can't end things

The best we can hope for is to see eachother once the entire year. Me going with is not an option unfortunately.

I am not sure I believe long distance for this length of time could work, but they feel otherwise, and say they know many people who have done it - so why can't we?

Its something they have always wanted to do, which I get, but I can't help feel that they are abandoning a relationship that is going very well

This is incredibly hard because a breakup is hard as it is, but that normally happens due to relationship issues. Here we both love eachother and are our enjoying our relationship so much that if it weren't for this we would definitely continue

TLDR: Partner leaving in a few months for a working holiday, for one year. She wants to stay together during this time, but I am unsure. I cannot go with and the distance will be huge, so we could only hope to visit once the whole year. I don't want to break up, but also don't think I could cope with long distance (struggle with needing physical connection, and I would be worried about her meeting someone else). I know I struggle a lot with long distance, and I also can't help but feel a bit rejected. Our relationship was going so well before this. I feel hopeless. Any advice?

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* This article was originally published here

Am I overreacting for being angry at my boyfriend for not messaging me while he was with his friends?

My boyfriend (16M) is a bit of a drinker when he’s with his mates and occasionally alone. I (18F) am absolutely not, I’ve never been drunk or surrounded myself with drinking culture, so I don’t know what’s normal.

Last night he sent me a message around 7pm telling me that his friends dragged him into a night out. I told him to have fun and to let me know he’s alive every now and then. He knows that I worry if he’s going to be out late, especially if I know he’s drinking. In the past he’s always, always told me when he got home so that I know he’s safe, because I usually stay up and wait until he’s back home before I go to sleep.

This time I had nothing all night. I sent him a message at about 10pm asking when he was going to be home, and another one at midnight jokingly asking if he was alive. Around this point one of his friends posted a blurry photo of someone on the ground very clearly not in good shape who I recognised to be him because of a bracelet he wears. I sent another message about this an hour later asking if he was okay and saying that I hadn’t expected him to keep me updated every second, but something would’ve been nice.

I grew increasingly worried as I continued to receive no answer from him, nor from the friend who posted the photo who I eventually sent a quick message to. I gave up and went to sleep with my notifications on loud at around 4am having heard nothing and with nothing else being posted.

I didn’t get a message until 9:30am, at which point he told me “fine don’t worry lmao” and explained that he’d gotten blackout drunk. None of his friends had been as drunk as him, as there are videos from the night of them literally holding him up because he couldn’t even walk. He’d crashed at one of their houses for the night. I’m not happy with him at all and I told him so. He apologised more when he realised I was actually upset.

Am I overreacting? Part of me feels like I should be able to trust him to handle himself for one night out with his friends without worrying, and another part is just pissed off.

TLDR: Boyfriend went on a night out with friends, got blackout drunk, didn’t answer any messages all night, had a photo of himself looking passed out on the floor posted to a friends story at 1am, told me “don’t worry lmao” in the morning

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* This article was originally published here

Here's What You Need To Know About Karmic Relationships & How They Work - Indiatimes.com

Here's What You Need To Know About Karmic Relationships & How They Work  Indiatimes.com

* This article was originally published here

Anyone found happiness after being with a toxic avoidant partner ?

So I am [M33] and have been involved in a long term relationship with a avoidant [F35] who was very damaging to my overall mental health and physical wellbeing. That said from being with her for 7 years I cannot think how I will love anyone as much as I loved her. I am aware of the trauma bond which exists but it is so hard to let go of her. I feel we were each others person and she told me I was her person. It feels like we got caught up in all the drama we created in each others lives and that was addictive it was even fun at times. But very painful also. There could be a sado masochistic element to this but who knows. Anyway I want to here from people who have got into new relationships after feeling like they lost the person they always thought would be there for them and they loved and adored with every fibre of themselves.

TL:DR looking to hear from others who have been in toxic relationships and how they found there new person who they loved and adored.

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* This article was originally published here

Is this okay?

My boyfriend (28M) and I (21F) are in the same friend group and I learned that when we were still flirting, he told our friends about us. The problem is I am a very private person and when we started dating, we decided to keep it from our friends for a little bit and we told them after a month. It turns out they knew it already. I know this for 2 months and we’re dating for 10 months now. Now I feel like they treated me like an idiot. It hurts me and my bf doesn’t think this is a problem. Is it a problem? I feel like I’m way more sensitive than I should. What do you guys think? Also, I lost trust for my friends and I started to think that if we break up, they would cut me off from the group. I feel not connected to them as I was before.

TL;DR! My bf (28M) told our friends about us and I (21F) tried to keep it a secret like an idiot

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* This article was originally published here

My strict family is ruining my life

not really sure where to start.. age (25f) with (28m) length - 1.5 years please be kind

been with my loving and supportive partner for the past 1.5 years i am muslim therefore we have to be engaged / married to live together etc

he tried to ask for my hand a few months ago but my parents were very rude & straight up rejected him so we kept it quiet and carried on as normal.

now, we are trying to make our rship more formal and serious but my strict family is being incredibly difficult on the grounds ‘i deserve better’ -family have spoken horrible to me and i got told to choose whether i want him or my family

feeling so lost, confused, heartbroken and just overwhelmed - can anyone please advise me on what to do? - i don’t want to lose either side

tldr: family are saying i have to choose between my partner or my family - how do i handle this situation?

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* This article was originally published here