Me 25M and my 28F Fience. How to take care of the baby when both parents work? [UK]

Hello everyone,

Overall our relationship is quite healthy in our opinion. We didn't had a single fight for nearly 2 years since we started dating/living together. We do communicate we just don't get angry with each other.

She is really too optimistic(that she thinks there will not be much issue with sorting out time for the baby and she will be able to get a job from home after the birth) and I'm totally opposite

The issue is my Fience is working in a factory so she needs to be in office all the time and her PhD will not count as she done it for her mum and don't want to do anything relating to it.

All that means she really don't have work experience so I'm quite nervous about her having chances of getting remote job as well as the fact that she stutter quite a lot that i personally don't mind but i know how jobs works and they wouldn't really want like custumer service having issue speaking with cosutmers. She knows English perfectly but her stutter kind a underline it.(Maybe I'm wrong about how jobs operate due to my pessimistic way of thinking)

I'm perfectly fine with her decision about not wanting to have job in the carried that her mum has chosen for her and overall i don't mind what job she does as long as she is happy about it but sadly full time in office will not work for rasing baby in our situation.

I currently work remotely as IT support but i will need to change my job in couple months due to agency contract.

I do try my best to find another full remote work but doesn't seems to be able to find anything. Meaning that i will have to be in office like 2/3 times a week.

My mum is working full time as well so she will not be able to help us really with taking care of the baby and my fience mum is not living in the country nor speak the language.

That said our families cant help us with this. After the age of 5 of the baby it will be easier as she will be able to even work part times and drop off/pick up kid from schools. The issue is before that age on how to deal with it.

She earns minimum wage and i earn slightly more. I don't earn enough for her to just leave her job so that option is out of the question. I do trying to quit smoking as i do spend nearly 1/3 of income on it that is insane and i know.

Only one thing is that she told me lately that she still have her own house in her country as due her father inheritance(He passed away when she was little) her mum bought 2 houses for herself and daughter(my finece). My Fience is trying to sell her house now so i can get a bit more mortgage and buy house in the country we live in (UK). She would get around £100,000 for that house. If we buy a house we will want to buy a bigger one to don't have to move in a future so i was planing to get like 50,000 mortgage that with our current earnings it would be no issue paying it off but now I'm thinking maybe it would be better to hold that money for the time she will not be able to work?

TL;DR; : Fience work in factory and i will have hybrid job. How to take care of the new born baby utill age of 5 when family cant help.

​

I would really appreciate any advises!

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My [19F] best friend [23M] likes another girl but continued to be affectionate with me..?

I wanna come on here to vent and get your guys' input on this...did I make the right decision? Any thoughts would be appreciated :)

But basically, I met this guy at the start of uni in September and we've been best friends ever since. I started to like him early on but that didn't make the friendship awkward or anything. Actually, we're so very close it almost feels like...soulmates. I don't want to be cliche or anything but that's really what it feels like.

We both express our *platonic* love for each other and we're so happy we met. We say I love you and he expresses how much he cares for me and how much I mean to him. I'll never forget when he told me that he doesn't know if he can have a life without me in it, and that I complete him.

So that's the thing...he says these things which, from an outsider's POV it might look like he's in love. But he's always just been so affectionate and I can't help but fall for it. We've been clear with each other on how things actually are though. He broke up with his ex around 2 months ago so he's not ready to emotionally invest in someone else.

The thing is we've been physically affectionate with each other for some time now, and almost regularly exchange texts about cuddling, kissing, and generally just doing physical things with each other. But to him it's just physical and a good time and I understand that so the fact there's no emotion to it stopped bothering me and I was just having fun myself.

Recently though he started to like a girl from our uni, and it had me raising questions because of his recent breakup, I thought he didn't want to be with anyone yet, and we've known each other longer and have shared so much, connected so much and feel super comfortable with each other. So I guess it made me feel like...why not me? But I understand it's not intentional and we simply just feel things.

Anyway he revealed to me that they recently started to be physically close as well, like holding each other and a few kisses here. Though I've been preparing myself for this time it still hurts and it's been bothering me. Today, he started with the usual cuddly/physical texts and as much as I want to engage with them, it makes me feel weird because he already likes someone else, so I feel like we're in no position to be doing this. To add, they're not in a relationship because the girl is kind of unsure if she wants to be with him, though she does like him back.

So I suggested that we take a break from speaking to each other for like, 2-3 days? I just feel like I need to remove myself from this situation for a bit. I told him he might be okay with being this way with multiple people but it just makes me feel weird/uncomfortable, and he said that I'm the only one he does it with. I don't know if I made him feel bad by saying that.

At the back of my head I'm wondering if this will make us grow apart? If things will be a bit different later on. But I just know this space is something I need, idk what else will follow after. He likes someone else, after all, I'm not the main focus. But in the past, anytime we don't talk for a while he'll come looking for me. He literally becomes restless and just HAS to talk to me. He tells me he can't sleep without me saying goodnight. I don't know if it will be the same now.

TLDR; taking a break from talking to my best friend who i like, who likes another girl, because boundaries are blurred, did i do the right thing?

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Boyfriend (28M) of 6 years doesn't want to marry me (26F) so I fell in love with someone else.

Hello everyone!

I (26F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for 6 years already. We met in college, and it was a wonderful relationship from the start. We formed an instant bond, and both fell in love. When I saw him for the first time, I was sure that I found "the one," and he said he felt the same. We lived together for a year while we were in college, but as soon as we finished, we moved back home and have lived separately since. He found a job with his university degree as an engineer offshore, so he would be at work for a couple of months then back home. I was hopeful that we will move in together soon and start living like a couple again. This was in 2020, and nothing has changed since. He lost his job in the meantime because his eyesight has been getting worse, and he can't work if his health is not perfect. He is now unemployed, living in his parent's house and doesn't even look for a job, and I work as a manager on a project. Even though he lives only 17 miles away, we see each other once a month for 5-7 days because he cannot drive due to his health issues and has to take a bus. I've been unhappy for a long time, and the fact he won't put an effort to see me is making me very sad.

I've chatted with a friend I met online. This guy (33M) is someone I share interests with, but I never saw him as a love interest. When this guy was in my country in November last year, I met up with him, and I felt an instant bond forming. I've told my boyfriend about my friend, and he said I can meet up with him because I would never go behind his back on something like that. Then it was December. During the Christmas period, I was at home, and my family was here, so, naturally, I asked my boyfriend to join us and celebrate Christmas with me because I can't be with his family due to my work. He declined my offer, said that it's boring to celebrate Christmas with me, and that he wants to be with his family. I felt devastated and figured out he has been avoiding holidays with me throughout our whole relationship. He always prioritizes his family over me. Then it was New Years, and I asked him to come so we can spend it together. Again, he declined the offer and spent the night drinking with his buddies in his town. My birthday was recently, in February, and my boyfriend said he would definitely be there. I waited until evening, and then he said he won't be here for the weekend as planned because it might rain later on, and he can't travel by bus in rain. So he missed my birthday and arrived a day later, even though I asked for a few days off from work weeks before that to properly spend the weekend with him. He arrived when I had to work until 9 pm, then complained how he is just sitting alone in my apartment while I'm at work, and that it's boring. Other than that, when we are together he is kind and caring.

I was devastated and felt very lonely. I started chatting more with my friend I met in November, and during the Christmas period, we even video-called, which became a regular occurrence. He advised me to ditch the guy. We talked more, and I told him how unhappy I felt, and I never talked about my relationship problems with anyone. I opened up to him completely about these problems. He said he wants to be with me and that he was in love with me for a long time. Due to my loneliness, I think I fell for this guy too. I dream about him often, and I think about him all the time. The problem is I am afraid to leave my 6-year relationship, and a part of me just wants everything to be just like it was. Even though he has been neglectful and made me feel bad, I am still hoping he will come back to his senses, sort his life out, and everything will be fine. And yes, I did talk to my boyfriend about everything that has been bothering me, he just says that everything will be fine if I just wait for a bit more. I don't want to lose more time waiting, I want to live my life and have a family of my own.

Please advise me on how to solve this mess. I would like a fresh perspective. Thank you.

TL;DR - Boyfriend of 6 years is neglectful towards me, refuses to find a job, refuses to spend important holidays with me or my family and refuses to try to work towards a goal of having a family. I fell in love with someone else due to the loneliness I feel. Now I am afraid if I am making a mistake by leaving this guy for someone else.

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Am I (25F) overreacting if I am anxious that my guy (24M) has a dummy account where he accepted friend requests from a few random hot girls but he “never flirted with anyone using the account”?

I’m aware of my guy’s dummy account (he used a fictional character’s name) that he created when his main Facebook account got banned for 3 days for some reason in 2021. I found out he had a few random hot girls as friends on the dummy account all because one day I saw those random girls as Facebook’s Friend Suggestions and his dummy account was a mutual friend.

He rarely used the dummy account after he got his main account back.

But today, I saw him online using the dummy account, and when I chatted him there, he immediately unfriended and blocked me saying he needs to use the dummy account for a business in which he needs to protect his identity.

Now he’s insisting that he isn’t doing anything wrong and that he removed all friends from that account. He even defended himself further saying he never added the random girls — he only accepted their friend requests. I am anxious now and I pointed out that he wouldn’t accept those girls if he really didn’t have any plans to flirt.

He said I am just overreacting.

Am I?

—

TL;DR My guy has a dummy Facebook account where he became friends with random hot girls. I pointed out that he wouldn’t accept those girls if he really didn’t have any plans to flirt.

He said I am just overreacting.

Am I?

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My (32 M) gf (26F) (ex) cheated on me with a white guy who is supposedly her bf now. Should I ask her if she cheated on me before this also?

We were in live in relationship since past two years. She was the love of my life. It's been 4 months since breakup and I'm devastated to be the understatement. I would prefer to die than bear this pain.

Anyway, she went to Europe for further studies. Did her first year, came back to me for three months break from university, we fought and everything and she was very hard on me during that time, but I knew she was always problematic but she's my baby and I tried to make it as best for her as it can be. She went back for second year, and after 15 days fought with me for no reason and told me that I'm worst bf and everything and she's going to go out on dates there now. After 7 days she posted on Instagram a photo with this new guy calling him love of her life.

She says that she did it all after she fought with me and told me we broke up. I told her she cheated on me, but except for above excuse once or twice she never denied it. She'll cheat is the last thing I expected from her.

Now I'm thinking if she cheated on me before as well. When she was in Europe in first year. Should I ask her this? I wanna know because I would like to know the truth and get a closure, otherwise I'll die in pain. But is it okay to ask this? Will it yield any result?

I am still the nicest to her, and we are in touch. Should I just ask her. I came here to ask you guys because I'm very high and I'm not trusting my judgement at the moment.

tl;dr - she cheated on me when we broke up. I wanna know if she cheated before as well.

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How to not be resentful of your partner making a lot of money?

For context, my partner was fresh out of flight school when we met, I was just starting my associate’s degree. We supported each other through financial hardships for a couple of years until he got his CFI and attained enough flight hours to join an airline as an official pilot (well, FO). Anyway, I took some time off of school and coasted on the money we were making while he was flight instructing and just recently decided to go back. Well, he would rather I get a job and pay half the rent so he can put money towards his credit card debt he accumulated a few years back that has been gaining interest (which I understand), but has since started moving his money into another bank account and insisted we separate our finances… I can’t help but think this is his way of pulling away from the relationship and am resentful of the fact that he is hiding money now that he makes an exponentially higher amount than when we were together, meanwhile I am trying to figure out how to get enough money together through loans to go back to school. I am currently living in an apartment he is paying for but have not seen him for almost a month due to the fact he is on reserve. Though, he insists we are still together yet cancels any plans we make to see one another. How do I deal with feeling like he is being avoidant and waiting for me to leave? I am currently working part-time as a security officer and making close to minimum wage, meanwhile he is making what I believe to be around $80k/yearly… I am both embarrassed and ashamed to say I am envious and spiteful of the entire situation. Am I wrong to feel this way?

tl;dr: partner got a job as a pilot that makes almost $100k 5 years after we met and is never around anymore and I feel left behind while they fly around staying in nice hotels. trying to get into flight school to catch up…

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Relationships with Pisces: Compatibility and dynamics with other Zodiac signs - Times of India

Relationships with Pisces: Compatibility and dynamics with other Zodiac signs  Times of India

* This article was originally published here