Am I in the wrong to be upset?

I (F24) have been with my boyfriend (M23) for a year now and his family acts like I do not exist. I have two children, have been with him for a year and his family still refers to me by his “girlfriend”. no name, ever. When I have tried to get us to visit so I can try to mingle with the family there’s always a reason from his parents for us not to go.

They have categorized me with past girlfriends that were incredibly toxic, which these were all high school girlfriends who managed to happily be invited into the family.

Right after telling me they won’t mistreat me like my ex husband and others have. However they do NOT know me enough to make such a judgement call. All I ask is these people learn my name and maybe act like I am someone who is seriously involved with their son.

A “fresh start” has been offered and I agreed to said fresh start however it isn’t sitting right with me. I can’t for the life of me wrap my head around why a fresh start is required when I have done nothing that needs a fresh start. They’re the ones who have been disrespectful to me as a human being, as their sons partner.

Family is important to me and I love my boyfriend, a lot. But I can’t see myself with a partner who’s family is so disrespectful and insignificant to our relationship.

My boyfriend and his mother have basically blamed this on the fact that I am “going through alot” right now and I think that, that is incredibly unfair. No amount of anything else I am going through has to feel with the fact they make me feel like dirt on the bottom of their shoes.

Am I overreacting ? All I know is how I feel I have felt sick to my stomach for 24 hours now. And I don’t know what to do.

TL;DR - Have been with boyfriend for one year, his family acts as though I don’t exist, refer to me as “girlfriend” instead of my name. Lacking the basic respect for a human being. Am I wrong to be upset ?

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Giving closure.

Hi guys.

I, (23m), just ended things with my gf, (24f), after 4 years. To cut a long story short, I had been thinking about breaking up for about a year. I just always knew we weren't compatible on a lot of levels. She was a lot more in love with me than I was, including right up to the end.

This was my first break up and admittedly I was very immature in the lead up to it. I told her I needed to work on the relationship about a month before yet I just got really distant and eventually ended it.

The reasons I told her for the split was that I didn't love her anymore and that I don't know why but the feelings just left. I care about her more than anyone I ever have, and I want to make sure this breakup goes well for her. She needs to get some of her stuff from mine at some stage, so is there anything I can do to give her more closure, or is it just a fact that closure or not its going to hurt the same?

TL;DR: I want to give my ex more closure following a sudden breakup.

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My fiancé wants to take a break to have sex with other girls

TL;DR My fiancé wants to take a break to have sex with other girls. He said he’s bored of our sex

My fiancé (27y) and I (22y) have been together for 2 years. We got engaged 4 months ago. For the first 1.5 years, our relationship was great and we had the best sexual chemistry. He recently told me that he would like to take a break for a month because he doesn’t feel as sexually attracted to me as he used to. He told me he loves me deeply but he is getting bored of our sex. He thinks that I’m a good girl and will make a great wife. But he feels guiltily about having strong sexual urges for other girls. He told me the “spark” isn’t there anymore. He’s been thinking about this for months and never really voiced it to me. It’s only been two days since we started our break and he already went on a date with another girl yesterday. He is planning to sleep with at least 3 girls during our break.

He had told his family about our situation and his mum asked me to come over today for a talk. I spoke to his mum and his siblings and they were all on my side. They’re very supportive and told me that I deserve to be treated better. Everyone in his family will be try to talk him out of sleeping with other girls and taking this break. They are all very mad at him. They know he still has feelings for me but think he has commitment issues. They said he is known to never commit to a girl but they thought he changed when he met me. For the first time in his life he told them that he sees himself settling down with a girl.

I feel very stuck. I don’t know what to do. Everyone is saying that they think he will realise this is a mistake and will return to me. I love him so much and I want us to work things out. But I know I deserve to be treated so much better than this.

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What are some healthy boundaries for porn?

I’m a 24F married to 25M. If that matters. Been together 7 years married 1 year

What are the boundaries that you have that you expect from your partner when in comes to porn or looking at profiles on social media? Even if it is just fantasy, and it makes me super uncomfortable and it feels like a betrayal is that enough reason to make it a boundary?

I came across my husbands porn on his computer when I was going to order something online. I turned it on and there it was on the screen. 3 different pages of porn. I’m cool with porn in general. But the pages he was looking at made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe I need to reassess what is a good boundary to have. I’m also pregnant and hormonal, but he hasnt initiated sex with me for years. He said it’s because I kept pushing him away when he asked years ago. It’s all because we did it dry and it would hurt and its my first and only relationship so I didn’t say anything. I’ve been trying to solve this issue by wearing lingerie and actually encouraging him to ask for sex again. My first trimester of pregnancy made me sick all day so there was no way it was possible. Then he said that’s why he didn’t initiate sex because I was too sick. So he’s been watching porn and of course I knew that. So I’ve communicated with him that I want him to be sexual with me and initiate sex. He doesn’t even make out with me. We’ve had a conversations about it already but his argument is it’s just a fantasy and he doesn’t need to watch porn if we were actually having sex.

Yes this is also making me insecure. My body has changed so much since I got pregnant. I told him I want to feel wanted which I haven’t self in a long time. He’s also stated that it’s just porn and i should trust him. And I if I don’t trust him it’s my problem. Am I being crazy? Please ask questions if im leaving anything out. I’m not the best storyteller!

Tl;dr need advice on healthy boundaries

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3 months on from breakup and I’m still feeling low

I (27M) broke up with my gf (27F) just over 3 months ago after a very patchy few months and lots of ups and downs in our 1 year relationship. We had been friends for over 6 years prior.

Whilst I know why I ended the relationship, I struggle even now to get her memories out of my mind. There hasn’t been a day when I haven’t felt low because of this, and i think back to why my perfect story had to end. I was very close to proposing to her and she was excited about this.

I’ve tried lots of things to get my mind off of her - getting busy with work, a trip abroad, exercise etc, but eventually I fall back into the pit of those memories we had together.

There has been no contact since which has probably helped, but I don’t know what else to do and not let every little thing trigger me day to day. Any advice and support would be appreciated.

Tl;dr - broke up with gf 3 months ago, still struggling to get over her.

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I (35M) am unhappy in my 5 year marriage to my partner (43M) but afraid for him and his stability if I leave

So there's a lot going on behind that description. We are low income folks, we live with my mother so that all 3 of us can benefit from the presence of 3 incomes... or rather, that's how it started out. I've got my own fun basket of mental health issues that I maintain medication for and occasionally try to juggle therapy for while I wait to get insurance.

I'm also an alcoholic (started as a way to self medicate), but I'm trying to recover or at least not be a total idiot. I don't want it in my life anymore. My partner, on the other hand... I've threatened, I've cajoled, I've issued ultimatums. Several years ago I started a consistent campaign to get him to pursue any kind of therapy - there was a queer friendly clinic close by, but you needed to hop on the waiting list - and his alcoholism was apparent at the start. I didn't mind when our relationship started though because I was right there with him, that's the place I was at and it seemed like a good match. I'm not at that place anymore. Bless my mother for putting up with our bullsh*t when we moved in with her, but babysitting alcoholics was old hat - runs in my family. I think she was just happy she could keep an eye on my chaotic, broken mess of a life.

There's other issues with him not liking me pursuing my own hobbies (which I do in order to not drink) instead of sitting on my butt and watching movies or whatever with him. His main modes are playing games, or consuming media right now. While drinking. Always the damn drinking. If he has a day off, a 12 pack is going to be coming home. I've mentioned AA more times than I can count, but the religiosity makes that almost a no go. He was raised Mormon, you can guess how well that went over with the gay and all. He hates religion, passionately. Other issues with him not cleaning, mostly because of being drunk. It all usually circles back around to the alcohol.

He's codependent to me, in a disturbing amount. I think I'm probably on some pedestal, or the image he's in love with is the alcoholic he proposed to 5 years ago. I'm responsible for finances, I do the important stuff, I drag this relationship around by the nose. As I'm getting older I'm becoming concerned about how I will handle things like a real career, or retirement. I know what I want to learn and go back to school for... he has no aspirations, nothing. I don't have a partner right now, I'm taking care of an adult child. I love him, deeply. There is a kind and genuine person, under the alcohol, but he's also deeply unstable and full of self loathing. He's attempted suicide before(not related to any of this) and it's part of why I've continued to try for so long.

I want to leave this relationship, I'm deeply unhappy and angry almost all the time, and it's keeping me near a substance I can't control myself around. But I'm afraid for him and I know he won't seek help. How many years of someone refusing to help themselves is enough for you to leave an alcoholic, especially if it is a danger to you? What if it's a legitimate concern that this person could self harm?

​

TL;DR - My husband and I are alcoholics. I'm trying to recover, but he has no interest. I've tried multiple time to get him to try therapy or AA, and he's refused, so now I want to divorce/leave him but I'm concerned for his well being because he may self harm.

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I think my [f20] bf [m20] isn't interested in me anymore

Quick note: sorry for any spelling mistakes or formating mistakes, I'm on mobile so it's a little funky.

TLDR; My [20f] boyfriend [20m] of 3 years doesn't initiate anything romantic/sexual/etc of any sort with me and when I bring it up says he'll change then doesn't. Worried he might not be interested in me?

I [20F] have been with my boyfriend [20M] for 3 years. In those 3 years we have broken up twice for short amounts of time (both initiated by him, as was getting back together the first time).

When he and I first got together everything was absolutely wonderful. We met through a friend and clicked instantly and the beginning of our relationship was amazing. We both had a lot of fun, our sex drives were high, we couldn't keep our hands off eachother, etc.

A little bit of backstory; I grew up in a very rough household and haven't lived with my parents for 3 or so years. I've lived with my bf and his family for almost a year I believe. I know I have some issues with insecurity and also probably depression. My bf has been there for me through a LOT and I will always be thankful for that.

I think maybe us living together ruined something? Or maybe not since before we even lived together he would make comments about finding me somewhat unappealing.

I understand that people have different love languages, but it doesn't seem like he has one at all. For the past 2 or so years of our relationship things have slowly grinded to a halt. We don't hold hands, if I try to hug him he just awkwardly stands there with his arms at his sides (this happens whether I ask before I do it or not), we don't kiss, we don't snuggle/cuddle unless it's bedtime and I beg for it, he doesn't compliment me (ever. The last time he complimented me was probably literally before we started dating), he doesn't like giving/recieving gifts, he doesn't even say my name anymore unless he's upset with me, and he only says I love you if I'm preforming oral or I say it before I leave for work. I've tried to bring up going on dates or finding fun things to do but he brushes them off and tells me he isn't interested in those things and doesn't want to go on dates (like.. ever). Anytime I bring up doing like cutesy couple-y things he tells me he doesn't like doing that "dumb couple shit" (that includes literally just taking like selfies together).

We basically never have sex except for me pleasuring him. He says he doesn't like preforming oral or using his fingers, he doesn't like doing foreplay, he doesn't like having sex unless it's me giving him oral. If we do have sex he struggles to get and stay hard at first, there's no foreplay, he covers any part of me that has exposed skin except for my face and he looks away from me the entire time. We go until he's satisfied and then we stop no matter if I've finished or not. At this point I feel more like a living sex doll that cleans then a girlfriend.

I used to want to marry this man and have a family with him, now when I think about it I feel uncertain and sad. I do love him and I don't want things to end but I've talked to him about all of this and how it hurts me in several ways several times and he says he'll change but never does. The only thing he's gotten better at is saying I love you back to me. I don't know what to do honestly.

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