i need an advice

i need advice

Myself 22m her 24f been in relationship for 7 months

There are two cases,

1. I had a female friend from school, who happens to be a model by profession now but her profile is not a thirst trap. I never talked with her but we follow each other on insta. My gf is pissed about why i follow her and once also got angry over me cz i had liked some of her pics.

2. I had a female friend from college who might have had something for me.(although she didn't clearly express it,) My gf blocked her in WhatsApp when i told her this. although I didn't talk with this female friend for more than 2 yrs and still now we don't talk she is just a friend in my fb.

After my relationship,i had no interaction of any kind with these 2 females.

Yesterday, my gf asked me why are this females still in my fb or insta. She tells me she feels bad seeing that i follow them on social media. She feels bad that i follow them cz they post something like that sort.. Should I unfollow/ unfriend them? TL;DR gf pissed cz of me following some female friends

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My sister(18F) acts like she hates me(M19) for dating her bestfriend(F18) but insists she’s happy for us

So i (19M) started seeing my sister’s (18) best friend (18F, let’s call her sarah) a couple months ago now. my sister was totally cool with it and even encouraged me to make the first move with sarah apon hearing that i was thinking about it. she promised me she wasn’t worried about it and she trusts both of us to treat each other right.

everything has been going amazing between sarah and i, we are taking things slow but she is over very often anyway so we see each other heaps, and love every moment of each others company

the issues started only in the past few weeks, when my sister brought up the fact that sarah spends so much time with me that she’s scared of losing her as a best friend. i felt so guilty, and i try to always put my family’s best interest first so i offered to end it then and there, but she made it clear that she doesnt want that at all, and she’s extremely happy for us, she just wanted sarah to hang out 1 on 1 with her more often. so sarah did exactly that, she goes out 1 on 1 with my sister just as much as they used to and all seemed well for a few days

but then almost out of nowhere, my sister started acting quite hostile to me, saying extremely hurtful stuff, trying to embarrass me in front of sarah every time sarah comes over, rants to sarah about me any time her and i have a classic sibling argument. even once told me sarah said she doesn’t like me anymore during a heated argument which she later took back and said she made it up to hurt my feelings because she was angry. it’s causing so much stress for me and i dont know what to do.

i spoke to my sister about it again just now and she said she still wants sarah and i to work out and i really want that too but i dont know how to do that and maintain a good relationship with my sister at the same time if it’s already hurting me this much

my feelings are definitely growing quicker than i thought and i care about sarah very much, hence why i’m asking for advice here.

TL/DR: Sister acts hostile and uses the situationship between me and her bestfriend to hurt me as well as acting upset by it despite insisting she’s happy for us and it’s growing harder to deal with

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My husband (39m) lost sensual intimacy in me (33f) after putting birth to our second child.

Please i really need an urgent advice as things are currently getting out of hand,ever since I put to birth to our second child my husband has suddenly lost intimacy with me, he doesn’t make advances to me anymore but when I try to go to him he always complains of being tired and work stress, it wasn't like this before please how can I make myself attractive to him again as I don’t want him to start looking out please. thanks for your advice all. Or will everything go back to normal after a while?

TLDR: my husband lost intimacy in me after giving birth to our second child how do I resolve this.

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I have a hard time believing my gf ever wants me sexually

Me (m20) and my gf (f19) have been together a couple years now, with the first year not having sex (both virgins) and the last year and a half or so with sex. The problem is that I always want to do it more than her, everyday, even several times a day, and she doesn’t. I actually don’t fully know how much she would want to if I never initiated, haven’t been able to fully see how long it could go, but I think in all the times we have done it, she hasn’t once been the one to really initiate it. I have discussed this with her with no change. I mean like every step of the way it is usually me, but occasionally she will ask if I want to, but this is after we have literally been already kissing and groping or whatever for a while to where it’s obvious(that I almost certainly started.) And I would say we do it probably 25% of the time I ask if she wants to and far less recently as we’ve both been a little busier and fighting more. Another thing is she is basically unwilling to try anything besides regular sex, usually missionary position only. I can convince her to get on top, facing me, for a little while but that’s it. She usually always refuses to try other positions I want her to, and has never once let us try a bj or let me go down on her, despite lots of asking and discussions.

A couple things about this I find weird, and I kind of want to know if there’s a possibility of her being asexual? Or possibly just a very low drive? 1. She actually told me early on after we started trying to do it that she never thought about sex until we started discussing trying it.(I brought it up obviously.) Naturally I was like “oh yeah, like just didn’t think about it too much? Or like you mean you didn’t know what to fully expect right?” No, she clarified that she never once thought about or was curious about the idea of sex EVER until I literally discussed it with her. Never once watched any porn, touched herself, or even just imagined it. I kinda also feel like this goes along with this but the whole first 3-4 times we tried it literally just didn’t work, like straight up wouldn’t go in. And there was plenty buildup and kissing and such, and she acted like she was into it, but kind of weird.

1. She has never had an orgasm. I try and do what I think helps her feel good, I have asked several times for her to communicate with me about what could work or not with no avail, and it’s like, it just doesn’t really happen. I have definitely been closer some times than others, but never all the way. And I am a decent above average size, I can last for 20+ minutes with a little focus and if it hasn’t been forever, and I am more than willing to try using my hand or going down on her etc to try to help her since I know penetrative sex alone doesn’t allow even a majority of women to finish by itself, but she always refuses. Except there is a weird phenomenon where she gets grumpy after I finish. Like, genuinely just gets agitated and in a worse mood fairly often right after we get done. Is that not sexual frustration from not reaching climax?? She swears it’s not, and says it’s nothing I do wrong, but like with healthy sex that’s not the correct feeling one should get afterward no? But yet still nothing else to help her further is allowed. And I mean in my logic, I can imagine frequently having sex only to basically edge and not finish… every time. And I would certainly feel grumpy afterward, AND want to do it far less often, so kinda seems like that’s potentially a root of the problem but idk.

Finally just some other little details that feel weird to me and kind of want to know if I have sort of been on both extremes or what. My last and first gf before her was very much the opposite in this way. I had absolutely no difficulty believing that I was very much wanted in that way. I used to believe that I needed to wait for marriage, and it being my first gf I was extremely shy and inexperienced, so we never actually had sex because of my choice. But she led me out of my shell, and thinking back to how she acted and the difference between the two makes it seem unreal. An example was one of the first couple times she was over to my house, she had no problem straight up making out with me just in the living room even with people home in different rooms. She literally led me into my bedroom she had never been in before, locked my door herself, and just jumped on my bed on top of me and grinded on me, took off my shirt and hers, etc. she frequently brought up sex and various sexual questions, was frequently touching me, etc and just overall was obviously horny and very attracted to me like that. Fast forward to with my new gf I had to eventually plan after the first couple times she was over to my house. We’re talking MONTHS into dating, and I literally put some random stuff on the recliner to block up the single seat and then just fiddled with the tv for long enough for her to sit down on the sectional first so I could have a chance to put my arm around her or something. And like this initial shyness was very cute to me and I was fine with being that person to get her out of her shell eventually, but the transfer to equal initiation and stuff never came. Finally it’s like I have friends who tell me that with their gfs they just straight up gave them bjs without even asking the first time and stuff and it’s like ??? Idk am I just unfortunately experiencing an unlucky series of two extremes? Thoughts?

Tl;dr: Gf doesn’t ever think about sex and rarely if ever initiates and doesn’t want to most times I do. Also refuses to try basically anything other than missionary even when she has never had an orgasm, plus then gets agitated and in a grumpy mood after sex and denies there’s any problem at all. Frustrating thinking back to my ex and other girls who are very much the opposite and has me wondering whether I’m with someone asexual or what could be done to remedy this.

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I [26M] had sex with a girl I had very strong drive towards for a long time [23F] and the drive disappeared - what should I do?

So there was a girl [23F] who I barely knew for a year but I always felt strong, sexual drive towards her and I was thinking alot about her in that matter, so one day I decided to do something with it and started messaging her.

After maybe three weeks of dating, last weekend we've had an incredible sex together on friday and saturday, which for me was a feeling of incredible succes in these moments.

But now, though she wants to repeat it this weekend, we actually settled a night together in my place tonight, but I realised I stopped feeling this towards her. The drive disappeared and it's no more "something special" as it was before we did sex. She fits all my physical preferences, but somehow I do not feel anything more to her, I stopped really "wanting" her after I got her and now I don't rly know what should I do.

How is it possible that happened? I have never been through a loss of sex drive towards a girl in this way.
What should I do now? I'm not sure where will this go. I don't want to disappoint her, she's pretty cool person, but I'm afraid I'll not be able to hold this for longer if the situation stays like this.

tl;dr I had sex with a dreamed-girl of mine and I stopped feeling sex drive after this, but she wants to continue having sex with me

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Are we in a relationship? F 28 M 40

Are we in a FWB or some weird relationship?

Hi there so I’ve been talking to this guy he’s 41 and let’s call him Daniel. So I’m 28 years old. I’m going to be going on 29 soon.
Daniel and I met in a certain department of our job and we have only been talking for about three months now. We work in different areas so I’m not worried about shitting where I eat. So we both came to this agreement that we are just messing around kind of just enjoying this friends with benefits situation. Which I understood that and everything but now it’s starting to get a little bit weird. Daniel has a daughter who is about five years old I never met her before, but he had her talk to me on the phone for the first time. He is an ex marine and he is a contractor worker, single. I’m not gonna lie and say he doesn’t have his ptsd issues & and he gets a little mean. But nothing out of hand. So I’m just a little bit confused I’ve tried talking with this man and asking him about what the heck is going on here. Because some of his insinuations are more than just what our friends with benefits really is. Today he got really upset because he wanted to go through my phone and he openly showed me his phone. I’m like..why does this matter? We aren’t dating. He gets jealous if I even talk to other men. He became really jealous when other men would give me attention , super possessive over me. But when I say OK, are we in a relationship? He’s like no we’re just messing around I said OK, so why are you getting jealous and then he will change the subject immediately.

He will ask me who I’m texting. He will look at my phone and see if there’s other guys and then make fun of me if there’s other guys trying to hang out or so. And I’m like I’m not messing around with anyone else I just don’t have the time. Then he will flip it back on me and say oh it sounds like you want a relationship! Then he goes on to say like how he doesn’t want to relationship doesn’t want to be locked down. We have gone on dinner dates, heck the dude gives me free tattoos. Tells me about his daughter. When I say yo, what happened to just chillin? He immediately deflects it down. It’s still too early to say but I’m going with the flow. But where is the boundary? When I try to set it, he’s immediately changed the subject! Please help!

TLDR, man gets jealous of me whenever I talk to other dudes but he freewill can sleep with whoever, but says we aren’t in a relationship. But gets hella possessive. Even trying to talk about it he changes the subject! What do??

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I (F24) am receiving very mixed signals from (M30)

Hey guys, so this is my first time ever asking for a relationship advice but I feel like I really don't know what should I do.

TL;DR: Casual Tinder date has turned into mixed signals party and I'm considering ending it up but I need an advice before I decide.

So I (F24) am in a non-exclusive relationship with a guy (M30) I've met on Tinder a few months ago. It's my first non-exclusive relationship as I've just figured recently that this is better for me now than setting strict rules as I have quite a tendency to ignore red flags. For a little bit of a background, I'm working with a therapist for 3 years now and also have meds to support so just to say that I have my issues and I really do try my best to recognise them. I have also ended a 3yrs partnership almost a year ago that was exhausting because I felt like I don't have any space for myself in it, because my partner was literally all the time next to me.

So that's all a bit new and now I feel that I really need some advice from you people.

To the point then. We've met on Tinder, then we've seen each other in the café, it has just sparked and my side of a responsible adult has lost the fight. It was great, he had texted me that the memories from the night helped him get through the days at work and that he cannot wait to see me again. So far I have articulated that I don't know what I am looking for on Tinder which is true, because now I'm mostly looking after myself. He was alright with that and hasn't said anything clear from his side.

We've met a few times, I was just up to have some fun. He's been texting me everyday. After I started to feel that there's a chance I will engage emotionally, I told him that. Stated that it was to meet him etc. but I started to like him and I figured I want more from a relationship than just some fun in bed especially if it's supposed to last longer than few meetups. Also I said that I'm ok with casual hookups for a while but now this has to be over because I cannot afford to be hurt and I feel like it might go that way if we keep seeing each other.

We went into a light argument where he said he doesn't want exclusive but hasn't been seeing our relationship just as a temporary fun and he wants to get to know me better too. I admitted I assumed this is not what I expected of him but he was definitely giving me the hints before that he's not gonna be emotionally into it. Ended up that we've talked a bit and he has assured me that we can also do other stuff together too and just be friends either. I told him that it's cool but I don't want to wake up someday realising he doesn't even want me around because the s*x is done.

This conversation has taken place a few weeks ago, and now let's jump back to the present. We've kept seeing each other and I constantly feel that something is off. I love to spend my time with himself but I keep dating outside of that now as he was the one to say he doesn't want exclusive and I want to keep my mind busy.

We don't meet too often and last time we had almost 2 weeks of break, but have been planning the weekend together at his house. We've been speaking specifically about hanging out Friday and Saturday. I was supposed to come Friday night and stay Saturday. And well, it was all good until Saturday morning when he has started telling me that we can no longer do the w33d vapes "because he will be doing his name stuff soon and he's gotta be focused. I said "oh ok, then I will just wait until I'm fit enough to drive and go".

Then he has ordered some food and we've been chilling on the couch, he has reminded me several times he's got this stuff to do, hasn't told me what was that but he said he's gotta be focused. I'm like ok this is getting weird and I said that I really will be going soon, not asking for explanations. Then he has cuddled up with me and fallen asleep for two hours leaving me thinking what tf is going on.

After he has woken up he has all of sudden gotten up, all serious, saying he's going to do his stuff now. I was confused as I've napped for a short bit too.

I've gotten up, went to the bathroom to wash my face and he wasn't around anymore. I've packed my stuff, called a friend and went straight to meet them, not even telling the guy that I'm leaving because I felt like I'm bothering him enough already anyway?

Then he has texted me that it was fun to see me and I said that was nice to see him too but it'd be better if I wasn't feeling like he wants me gone asap. He said that I didn't even say "goodbye" but hasn't tried pushing that anymore when I reminded him that he's just basically told me to leave and then dissappeared so what was he expecting? Then we went into an argument where he said that he's just going to see his friends now and he didn't mean to make me feel that way. I told him then well that's a shame that I thought we're gonna be hanging out Friday and Saturday because that's what we were speaking about all week before and he said he didn't mean it that way and that he really likes to spend his time with me and that we just must've misunderstood each other.

Now, I know my view is crooked by very manipulative environment from my past and that I often do misread people's intentions. I have just felt disappointed and like I was right not to trust into his feelings since the very beginning as I also often underline that I appreciate honesty and being open towards me. He has been all mysterious about this "his stuff" until after our meeting when I told him I'm feeling that way. I've also told him that I wouldn't be doing vapes this day at all if he's told me before. Also I feel like repeating it several times wasn't necessary? He knew I was still a bit boozed because that was what our Saturday was supposed to be like. He said he'd be happy to hang out longer if he knew (?). For sake of reliability of my own memory I've checked the messages and Saturday has been clearly stated several times.

And now I'm conflicted. I'm not a person who will be on someone's head unless I'm genuinely sure they want me around. I have my own anxiety so it wouldn't have even let me stay outside of my home for longer time than 24h. During an argument I said that I don't need to feel that way and that I don't think this is gonna work anymore. He seems not to notice because he's already wanting to plan our next meeting.

Now I'm keeping my messages short, maybe one or two sentences daily. He seems to try to make a conversation and it hasn't been that clear before.

I feel like I shouldn't be engaging any further. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if it's a reasonable point and that destabilizes me. But there's this one thing that I'm sure of, which is I don't usually feel that way around people I want to make any type of a bond with. The guy gives me bunches of mixed signals, but other than that he's the only person that makes my heart go a bit faster now.

Oh damn, I definitely need an advice because at this point I really want him, but it's not too late to back off. This would hurt but maybe that'd be the best thing to do? Or maybe there's something I'm not seeing?

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