My (23F) BF (33M) left me to go to a spa alone

Apologies in advance for the long post. My BF (32M) and i (23F) have had the idea for us to go to a spa and massage place for a while now. Today, we could finally go, we couldn't before because of scheduling issues.

So i called up the place to make a reservation for 4.30pm, i called at 4pm. The admin said that the male therapists are available for the time we wanted, but the female therapists are fully booked for that time and would only be available starting at 6pm. And she also told me that the service he wanted would last about 90 minutes, while mine was 60 minutes.

Now, before we decided to go today, he previously said that we'll eat out after the appointment, and we rarely eat out together so i was looking forward to it. So it was going to be us going to the spa and then having dinner.

But after the phone convo with the admin and knowing that the female therapists are only available at 6pm, i decided that i'd just wait for him while he goes in for his appointment and made the reservation for him. I told him how long his appointment is going to be (90 minutes) and how i can only get in at 6pm, which is 1.5 hours from the start of his appointment, and that i'd just wait for him.

Here's where it gets conflicted in my head.

First thing, I feel like he should've at least mentioned or suggested that we can just go in at 6pm, so we can go in together. His response to me telling him that i'd wait was "are you sure you're not gonna get bored?", and i said "yeah, it's fine." because i was looking forward to the dinner. But that response, in my head, sounds like him trying to get me to not go. Why? because he offered no solution to the problem and not thinking about how i wouldn't be able to go do this thing we planned TOGETHER.

After the phone convo i started to get ready, changing clothes etc., not once in the 5 minutes i was getting ready did he mention anything about pushing the appointment back.

Second, after we were ready and walking to the door, i suggested that we could go for the 6pm slot which i could easily call up the place and reserve for that time, for both of us. He paused, got quiet, and kept walking to the door, and because i sensed that he didn't like that idea, i said "but if you want to go now, it's fine".

I know, i should've communicated my feelings better, but in my head, he should probably have the idea that i wanted to do this too, was that unreasonable of me? i don't think so. And he knows i'm a very expressive person, you could tell how i'm feeling from how i act and talk, and we've been together for 4 years now, he knows.

After we exited the house and on our drive way, i paused and said "Actually, i'll just stay home. I'm going to feed Aulus (our sick cat) and give him his medicine. You go". Maybe it's just me, but i saw him go a bit relaxed(?) like he's not upset anymore, idk. He asked me if i'm sure, and at this point i didn't want to go anywhere anyway. So he said "okay" and got into the car, and left. All within 5 minutes.

And now i'm crying and i feel like i got sucker punched and all because of this silly little thing. Idk who to ask about this because i don't talk about my relationship to the people in my life (not because of anything, just because i don't want to).

Should i be feeling this way and am i right in thinking that he should've thought about me in all of this?

TL;DR my BF left for a spa appointment we both waited so long to do together because the time slots for my services and his services don't match, and he didn't suggest to push back his appointment time to match mine (by about 1,5 hours) and seemed upset when i suggested that he did that, but left right away after i said i'm not going.

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Bf heavily fantasized about me prior to he and I going out. Red flags or no?

My (25F) bf (25m) admitted to heavily fantasizing about me for months prior to us going out

Throwaway account but wanted some opinions here

My bf is wonderful and very loving, & I don’t think this will impact us in any way but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t being oblivious to red flags here as well.

The other night my bf confessed to having fantasized over me often to the point where he would get erect when I was around him at all (we worked together) and he confessed that he had masturbated to the thought of me multiple times a week, even a couple of times on the drive home after work.

This lasted for roughly 6 months until we ended up going out on a date. We did not know each other well for the six months leading up to our first date.

While I want to think this just reaffirms what I know to be true about his attraction to/for me, I just want to make sure that this doesn’t indicate anything darker.

TLDR; BF had fantasized about me so much prior to us going out that pleasured himself multiple times a week for months on the drive home after leaving professional situations where he had to be around me, and in his free time. Red flag or normal indication of attraction?

TYIA!

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Bf (53M) and I (51F) recently broke up. How do I hook-up without getting attached?

Tl;dr Due to my permanent mental illness, I don’t want to inflict myself on anyone, but I still want to have sex (with an actual human). How do I do this without getting attached?

My boyfriend (53M) and I (51F) recently ended our relationship after more than 23 years (our relationship has been cordial, but dead, for the past decade). He has a gf who is perfect for him (a much more fulfilling partner than I could ever be). I, on the other hand, have lifelong psychological issues and have decided that it really isn’t fair to inflict that on anyone, especially someone I supposedly care about.

I am 100% convinced that any remission of my mental illness is only temporary (because it ALWAYS comes back…. it will never NOT come back), and to let someone fall in love with the healthy version of myself is just deceitful and cruel (to both of us).

I will (do) miss having sex with another human being, though. I wish I knew I’d be emotionally capable of hooking up without getting attached. Any suggestions on how to have fun without falling in love?

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My (f29) boyfriend (m32) made a comment on my work ethic and now I don’t feel like going to his relatives birthday event.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and live together.

I’ve recently been struggling with my mental health. I have a history of really bad anxiety. I took a new job a few months back in the area we moved to (outside the city). I don’t drive yet but I’m trying! I failed my test before due to severe anxiety on the exam day. I live in the U.K. where they are pretty strict with the test so it’s not that easy either.

Anyway, I’ve been using extremely unreliable public transport and my standard journey is 1.5 hours and back. Sometimes the bus never comes so I have to wait an hour for the next one so it come take me over 3 hours to get home. I’m burnt out from the commute and can’t wait til I pass my test next year, and cabs aren’t an option as I don’t earn enough to pay for them every day.

I handed in my notice and my manager is trying everything to make me stay. He’s quite unprofessional and tells me about his mental health problems, how he cries on his bed and how hard life is as he hired someone else to make him feel good but now I’m leaving. He also said the main boss wants to hire an immigrant as they are hard working. So yes he made it about himself. This was super draining so I got back home last night and broke down in tears.

I couldn’t sleep last night due to anxiety about the job. I woke up and told my boyfriend that I want to stay home today as I’m on the verge of a breakdown. He then said that’s fine but it’s true what my boss said about immigrants being harder working (my boyfriend has immigrant parents). He apologised when he’s realised it hurt me but I told him that I’m pretty much done for today and I’m not in the mood to see ANYONE. So I’ve cancelled going to his house for his nans birthday. Hope I’m not being too harsh.

TL;DR: I’m taking a mental health day off from work (a job that I’m leaving) as I’m on the verge of a breakdown, and boyfriend made an insensitive joke about my work ethic.

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She’s confused on her feelings towards me and I have no idea what to say. M26 f53

Recently I’ve (26) been seeing a coworker. (52).

For the last two months. We’ve been I guess in a in the dark relationship. I’ve been trying to date her for two years. And two months she finally caved in and let me have sex with her.

She said it’s supposed to be light and airy. That’s our relationship. Well it turned into hanging out as much as we could. Staying the night.

She’s always said I’m too young. And she’s can’t get over the age gap. She’s confused on what we’re doing. She’s got deep feelings for me.

We got into an argument at dinner Saturday. About this. And I just got mad and told her it’s not fair to me that you keep stringing me along. If you can’t date someone half your age. Then that’s your answer and we can end it. She said I don’t get what’s she’s going through and she wants me to go find someone to have kids with. I said don’t worry about me. She said you’re 50 I’m 80. Doesn’t that scare you. I’m never gonna meet your family you won’t meet mine. We’re in the dark.

Then I take her home. She tells me to come in. Hugs me for 5 minutes. And tells me to stay the night.

Fast forward to last night. I said are we done. And she called and just said I’m confused. I don’t know what I want to do. I said well what do you want from me. She said I make her feel beautiful and loved and it’s perfect. But the age. And she said she feels like I pressure her when I ask what she wants. Maybe she needs space. She hates when I tell her I won’t be her best friend if we end it. Which is true. We’ll be friends at work but what would be the point in hanging out outside of work.

I just don’t know what to do and I can’t talk to anyone about it and it’s tough for me. I have no clue what to say or to do.

Tl;dr: she’s 53 I’m 27. She has deep feelings but can’t get over the age gap.

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A 15 year olds take on love lmao

The ability to love is a beautiful thing. You will receive smiles, laughs, moments to cherish and even tears. There is hardships and frustrations that come with love and I think it's the ability for two individuals to see the imperfections of another and accept them for it. Sometimes love wanes. Sometimes it leaks and you can't do anything about it but what makes love so beautiful is when it works. It isn't forced. It isn't perfect by any means but it's happy. Sure a pretty face and a nice body is nice but someone who can hold you through the yucky tears and the bleeding thoughts is what love really is. A true connection between 2 people no matter how big or small, stupid or smart, funny or not. The fleeting desire for this connection is what's corrupting this world and the lack of true matrimony plagues this world more so than war, greed or any of the sort. Loyalty. Honesty. Kindness. All traits a vast amount of people seem to be missing in the modern age and key requirements for love. So, do you truly love? Or are you living some deluded expectation of 'love'? Question yourself. What is love?

Love is the fragile bond between 2 people that at the least want the best for one and another. And at the most no war can be fought or not battle can be won to symbolize the connection between those people. To make someone your whole world is a dangerous game that will only end in tears. But that tiny percentage of the population that found 'the one'. Hats off to you. You were lucky enough to experience love in this degenerate generation.

---

**TL;DR;** : A cringe take on love by some teen.

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Not sure what i should…

I (24m) have been talking/exclusive with (20f) for about 6-7 months now who lives an hour apart from me. ive been in this sort of rut for a month now about how i feel and what i want to do with furthering our relationship. i know she wants to date and be more so official. i mean she loves me and i love her but i dont think im in love with her. shes great, awesome, and has the same kind of humor as me. where my mind goes foggy though is when i think about the future and if our lives can works together. she is still in college and will be for a little while. with saying that, she lives the kind of “college lifestyle” in a sense, but not to the fullest degree. i want to be a professional/competitive bodybuilder. with wanting to do that, i cant really be around all the partying so much anymore. this is kind of thing would really require my full attention.

i havent talked or mentioned anything about my feelings because i know its just gonna hurt her. ive always been the type to not worry about just saying something but this time its hard because ive never been in this kind of situation. how do i go about talking to her about it? should i wait and see if my feelings will change? i just feel so bad and wrong for what it seems like stringing her on.

TL;DR- i am having second thoughts/mixed feelings about my relationship and im not sure what i should do.

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