My (36M) Girlfriend (19F) has a REALLY fast resting heart rate and she won't go to the doctor to get it checked out and brushes it off like it's nothing, am I being paranoid?

TLDR: Girlfriend has resting heart rate of about 130BPM, but whenever I urge her to go to the doctor she just changes the subject, laughs it off, or tries to distract me with sex of food.

I met my current girlfriend about six months ago at the Muay Thai gym I go to (I live in Thailand, although I'm a US citizen, not sure if that's relevant).

I had seen her there often and she seemed really fit and active -- she's always doing something whether it be boxing or going out long-boarding or even running in some local fun-runs. One night at a BBQ at the gym we hooked up and have been together since. And it's been great! And I really haven't noticed anything wrong until recently.

About a month ago I noticed something I hadn't seen before. We were laying in bed in the morning and her Apple watch screen lit up with an alert like "high heart rate" or something and I see her heart rate is like 130 BPM.

I'm like holy shit -- we're just laying here doing nothing -- why is her heart rate so high? So I asked her about it and she said it's been like that for a couple of years. It started two years ago (coincidentally around the time she got her C-shots -- not saying that's the reason, but it seems to have started directly after).

And I asked further about whether this spike in heart rate happens just sometimes or if it's sustained -- and she showed me the heart rate history on the app and her heart rate is like at a CONSTANT 100+ BPM at rest. Like even 115BPM when she's sleeping, which is bananas.

For comparison, my resting heart rate fluctuates between 47BPM and 56 BPM. I work out up to 2 hours a day around 6 days a week, but even so I have bad habits that she doesn't have. Like I will definitely smoke a pack of cigarettes and drink a TON of beer once or even sometimes twice a week on the weekends if I'm not training for a fight or something. And she doesn't smoke at all.

Even if she did like ZERO activity -- and had a healthy body weight (she's super skinny) -- her resting BPM should be between 60 and 80 at the upper limit.

I'm ESPECIALLY worried because 10 years ago I had a girlfriend who I loved very much, die unexpectedly in her sleep. I was 26 and she was 25. She died while visiting her family in Kenya and the only answer I got back about what happened was something to do with an irregular heart beat.

I've told her this and told her my concern and asked many times to please let's just go to the doctor and get it checked out.

But every time I bring it up she laughs or plays it off and then she tries to distract me by basically making me food or trying to have sex with me.

I've tried to stay serious about it and be like "No -- don't do that, let's take this serious" but she just keeps cracking jokes, getting touchy-feely, or trying to do something nice for me and it gets to the point where I just feel stupid to keep talking about it.

But I'm really worried and I don't know how to express how serious I think this might be.

Do you guys have any advice?

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My gf(20f) broke up with me and wants to be friends..

So we were dating for 8 months and on fortnight of my birthday she said she's feeling suffocated in this relationship as she always thinks about how I feel before making any post on social media even though I never judged her for anything and convinced her for not to overthink...I wanted this to work and i am still trying but not sure weather I'll win her again as she just want a friendship now because she doesn't want to lose me either...

TL;DR; My gf broke up and wants to be friends. However I want a relationship and trying to win her again.

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My boyfriend ( M, 23 ) went on a trip with two girls and his male friend. Do you think this is right ?

My boyfriend (M, 23) and I (F, 22) have been together for two years. We've had our ups and lows and we struggled many times as we both have communication issues but we handle things quite well cause we love and respect each other. Or this is what I thought until last week. He came to me with supposedly "great news???" he told me that his friend invited him to go on a trip with two girls whom I know pretty well. To give you some context, we've basically fought many times because of the two girls, they're pretty provocative and one of them had a strong crush on my boyfriend for a long time. He liked to be friendly with her and I wanted him to put her back to her place cause she frustrated me. Anyway, she's in a relationship with his friend now (the one with the invitation) and the other is just like her, provocative and also very beautiful so you can understand why I didn't want him to go on this trip. He doesn't have any girl friends or whatever so this is pretty new to me. After many explanations over why I didn't want him to go, he just told me " oh I wanna go, I need to go on a trip cause I don't feel so well, you must understand, you don't have to worry, the girl is with my friend and I don't care about the other one " so I broke up with him cause I felt betrayed and kept remembering the many times I wanted to do stuff for myself and didn't cause it frustrated him. It's been 3 days that he's on that trip and he keeps sending me " I love you " texts and I left him on seen. I don't feel okay and I don't even wanna go to work. Did I overreact ? Or was I right to take my decision ?

TL;DR: my boyfriend went on a trip with his male friend and two girls which disappointed me a lot. We had fights over one of the girls all the time cause she liked him so much. He didn't care about my feelings and just went for it saying " nothing would ever happen, I love you so much " I don't feel okay. What do you think about this ?

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* This article was originally published here

I dont know how to continue this relationship

I (27F) have a definitive love/hate relationship with my Father (54M). It sounds so weird to say it that way, but I do. The love part is the advice he gives me, he came every weekend when we were renovating our house to help and that was the most we ever talked, when he tries hard he can be a good father.

But most of the time hes a complete asshole. My parents have their own business but she does all the work. He sits on the couch from morning to night playing clash of clans all fucking day long while shes stressing. He has no problem calling us out, even today saying basically my husband was a girl for going to my aunts baby shower among the other men going - and yes he stayed home on the couch. He wont go to my aunts babies birthday because he wants to sit on the couch and not socialize with other people. He told me today I didnt text him at all this month meanwhile he never reaches out to me first, ever. He thinks its fun pushing buttons meanwhile making everyone upset. The amount of times hes yelled or degraded my mom in front of my sister and I is probably more than a hundred - and the answer is thats just how he is.

I legitimately dont know how to talk to him about anything, if I was alone with him I would be uncomfortable. I feel like I cant confront him because then he’ll probably make fun of me for it, or brush it off or turn it back on me. The worst part is he makes me feel liKe its normal and I dont want to be like him. I dont know what to talk to him about or how to confront him on this

Tl;dr: My dad is a jerk most times and says hurtful things, then gets upset when I never reach out to him and idk how to continue this relationship

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* This article was originally published here

Feeling not enough for my boyfriend

Disclaimer: not fluent in english

I’m a 22yo girl and I have been in a relationship for 2 years now. In the beggining of the relationship, me and my boyfriend (26M) had a really hard time because he used to follow “”models”” on ig and like their pictures. After we had many, many fights over this, he finally realized i would not stay in the relationship unless he stopped. And he did.

He has been really committed and has not liked one single picture or followed a single girl since that incident.

However, that really broke my image of him. 1 year later, I still constantly think about the way he made me feel when he liked other girl’s pictures. Feeling not good enough, feeling betrayed, feeling like, if he had a shot with them, he would take it.

Also that made me really insecure (which I wasnt before). I know it’s not right, but now i check his phone often in search of evidence of him lusting for other women. I’m not even talking about DMs or texts; i’m beyond that. I go to the search bar and type 1 letter (e.g: “S”) and wait to see what it suggests. It is usually a “”model””. And that’s how i know he went to their page. And that makes me feel terrible.

I swear I wasn’t that “crazy” or insecure before. But I don’t understand why he feels like he has to look at other woman. I’m young, i work out a lot, i’m in medschool, I satisfy him in bed. Why is it not enough?

“Just break up with him OP” i would, but i think every man does this. Am I wrong?

TLDR: i can’t get over the fact my boyfriend goes to other girls pages to lust for them while i sit around like im stupid

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How do I go about this?

I really like someone. I mean, A LOT. She's just so damn cute, she's lovely, and she's so like me in so many ways. I finally plucked up the courage to ask for her socials, and ended up with her instagram. I'm a chronic overthinker though. I asked for hers, and she messaged me first after I did that, which I took as a good sign - I was going to wait a little bit as to not seem too eager. Apparently neither of us knew what flirting is, but we've been doing that?

My issue is, when we do talk, she's always enthusiastic to do so. But then she doesn't talk for like a couple of days but also isn't active for those couple of days, I assume she's just busy but I have a lot of anxiety surrounding people replying to me, due to issues with someone else in the past which have messed up my mental state a bit - I've worked on it and im okay now mostly, just a few lingering issues.

Also, in person, we frequently go silent, probably because we're awkward teenagers who don't know what to say? I dread asking her on a date because of this, I dont want to be awkwardly silent. But I'm pretty sure I have a good chance with her. She gave me a silly little thing because of a joke I made, spent a good 20 minutes making it, and labelling it, with a date and smiley face and all, surely she wouldn't go to that effort just for some random guy?

I need to know what I'm doing wrong, I get nervous around her which is of course natural, but I want to be able to hold a conversation better with her. Over text was fine, we were talking from like 10pm to 1am the other night, that was the night she made the little thing she gave me. Trying not to give too many details in case somehow, miraculously, someone who knows about the two of us finds this post.

I probably haven't made much sense. TLDR: two awkward soon to be adults (I'm 18 in just under half a year, she's 17 in a month or so), at least one of us has never had a relationship (me, maybe her too considering she has said she doesn't know how to flirt/didnt know we were flirting), How do we hold conversations better and how do I ask her on a date, I'm thinking of cinema, then food?

Thankyou for any advice.

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My wife (21f) got angry at me (24m) because I told her I would have had more to drink if I were not driving.

A couple days ago, my coworkers and I were invited to go to a baseball game in a private suite. For reference, this was the first time I had gone out without my wife since we got married. There were drinks for etc… initially my wife was going to pick me up from the game and I was planning on having a couple drinks.

My wife texts me before the game that she’s extremely tired and that she will come pick me up but that she wanted me to drive back. I said of course no problem.

I had a drink when the game began with all my coworkers and haven’t had more since then. They tried to get me to drink more but I told them I was driving and they laid off.

Anyways my wife picks me up and immediately says she didn’t do this because she didn’t want me drinking and that she was extremely tired. I said I know it’s not a big deal I had a great time. She then asked me if I were not driving if I would have had more to drink.

I said yes I probably would have had 3-4 drinks. The mood instantly changes, she is now angry with me. I ask her what’s wrong and she says that she doesn’t understand why I need more than one drink.

I said she was acting controlling and that 3-4 drinks is perfectly normal in the context I was in… she gets angrier and starts saying why can’t I just respect her wishes and she’s giving me the silent treatment all the way till the next morning.

For reference: her mother has had issues with alcoholism and I haven’t struggled with that but I have had too much to drink on one occasion earlier in our relationship. I understand it’s coming from a place of care and love, but it’s stifling.

I just don’t know what the correct next step is here. I don’t know if maybe I am the one in the wrong and I just need other peoples thoughts here.

Before people start asking, nearly every other aspect of our relationship is extremely positive.

TL;DR: wife is being very controlling over alcohol.

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* This article was originally published here