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Wednesday, May 24, 2023

My [28M] girlfriends [23F] bad moods are causing tension in our home

Myself and my girlfriend recently moved to a new city and are living together in a small apartment. It’s been nice for the most part, but there’s a problem that’s building. My girlfriend can be incredibly moody and hot headed. The thing is that it’s never anything malicious, she’s just easily annoyed over small things.

I understand that she can’t be happy all the time, but It’s the frequency of her moods that’s bothering me. I feel like I can’t go a day without her getting upset about something.

She is moody at some point every day. Sometimes she’s mad at me, more often it’s a general bad mood. On occasion she (and she says this herself) “ wakes up on the wrong side of the bed” and has an entire day where shes fuming. These days ruin my entire day.

I’ve tried to help her get out of the mood, from talking to her, but she doesn’t want to talk about it and get’s upset. I’ve tried cooking healthy and exercising too, which works a little, but she’s still a hot head by nature.

Because we are living in a small space, in a new city and don’t have many friends yet, I feel like I don’t have an escape.. If she’s moody the best thing to do is leave, but that leaves me just wandering around the city alone and killing time in the movies/ at bars until she calms down. It’s not fair.

Lately, it’s been getting to me more and I’ve been having angry outbursts that I’m ashamed of. I can handle her moods, but I need a few days in between. I’m really being pushed and I don’t like how I’m reacting to the pressure. I told her that the main source is coming from her and told her she needs to talk to someone like a counsellor, because I’m not a professional and can’t handle the frequency of the fights. She said that she’s not ready for that and doesn’t want to be forced.

I honestly don’t know where else to go from this. When I actually think about what she’s annoyed about or what instigates the fights are, it feels ridiculous because they are over such small things, but accumulated, they are really bothering me

TLDR; My girlfriend is hot headed and easily annoyed. She gets annoyed over small things every single day and over time this is starting to frustrate me cause me to have outbursts. The source of the arguments is coming from her mood. I’ve tried to get her to exercise, eat healthy and I’ve talked to her, but it’s draining me. I suggested therapy, but she’s not ready. What can I do if the source of our fights is coming from her mood that she’s not resolving herself?

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* This article was originally published here

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Me (26 f) and my husband (27m) have very different ideas of what intimacy means, and how often it's needed.

Hi me (26f) and my husband (27m) have very different ideas of intimacy. For me it hold my hand, playing with my hair, a back rub, a kiss on the head. To my husband he doesn't quite understand it. He says he doesn't need it and he's perfectly fine without touching unless it's sex. Now here's something to note he has some truma from when he was a kid. He went to therapy and basically everything is sexual even a kiss. He was telling me that when he sees his mom and dad dancing in the kitchen, or his dad kiss his mom he assumes they are having sex that night. I'm dying for any attention and he says, "I touch you all the time." He means he puts his hand on me ther is no cuddling. There are no kisses or back rubs, he holds my hand but that's it. I no longer want sex at all, but there's some truma with that for me. I'm not sure what to do I explain it to him he doesn't understand. I don't find any of the things he says about his parents to be sexual they just love eachother. I just feel like he doesn't like me. And I know there is stress but this was going on before. I'll tell him he tries forna week and it stops after. I don't know what to do, I just want affection. I'm so lost right now and it doesn't help that he feels nothing. He has basically no emotion. We can't afford therapy for him or me or even both of us. At this point it feels like I have to suck it up, and I'm trying so hard to but I just feel lonely. I can't talk to anyone I have no friends and can't talk to my parents or my sister. None of them have hathy relationships, and I don't want them to view him differently. Am I wrong for wanting this or is his view normal? I think I just need advice.

TD;LR: me (26f) and my husband (27m) have very different ideas on what intimacy means.

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* This article was originally published here

Monday, May 22, 2023

My GF (21F) of 5 years had a mental episode or something screaming and biting me (M23) I just need some help on if I should stay and help her thru it or call it

So to start my gf has done this before frankly she can be INSANE sometimes. And let me tell you guys right now yes I admit sometimes I can push her to it but I’m only one human being I can’t just shut up and bite my tongue with how she acts sometimes.

So anyways we went on vacation last week and I have been trying my HARDEST to be a good boyfriend and not argue, apologize for things and help her. And she kind of tried until yesterday we went to some flower shop to get flowers and I guess I wasn’t letting her pick what she wanted and we got in a big fight and kept arguing (idk if this matters she was on her period and birth control). But anyways I went to the car becuase she just wouldn’t stop and she gets embarrassing in public.

When she finally gets to the car a hour later I leave cuz she still was blaming me and having attitude and not taking ANY blame. So I guess leaving set her off uncontrollably… she started screaming, biting, kicking around throwing a literal temper tantrum like a toddler. This went on for like 20 mins until she started saying things like fuck you , I hate you , almost spit in my face all types of shit. Then switched to no one cares about me I’m all alone blah blah and then she started BEGGING to go to the mental hospital. So you know what I brought her and was hoping she’d get help for a few days and relazie how she treated me 😂😂😂. nope withen 5 hours I’m backing picking her up and the funny thing is all she does is cry about how bad it was there and doesn’t talk in the car ride home. So eventually I say I’m sorry for the flower thing expecting a apology for how she acted.

And THIS IS WHERE IT REALLY GOT ME. After all that she litterly started FREAKING out again screaming at me how it was still my fault all this and how she went thru so much today.

And then lastly we get home and she starts screaming SO LOUD that a new neighbor from across the apartment complex came knocking on our door asking us to w quiet and then talked to me for like 30 mins and my girlfriend downstairs for a while idk what he was talking to her about. But eventually when me and him were talking she came back and went to sleep.

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* This article was originally published here

Sunday, May 21, 2023

My [25f] boyfriend [29m] wont come to my family bbq today

Hi everyone,

I am beyond depressed right now. My cat died last month and my grandmother has days to live so this situation going on right now with my bf is not helping.

So yesterday my family told me to ask him if he was free for today to come by for a family bbq, my sister will be there with her bf as well. I found out in the morning and wanted to tell him immediately to give him the invite but lo and behold he is sleeping.

He wakes up around 9:30pm and calls me and I let him know the bbq is at 1pm the next day and my sis is bringing her bf. He says its too short notice and I get pissed because he was sleeping so I couldnt tell him earlier. I am hurt because I am going through a lot and want him to be at the bbq with me. He says he needs to sleep at 1pm so it wont work for him.

He stays up all night playing league of legends and apparently “working” at his freelance job. I told him to see a doctor about this sleep schedule for over a year and he refuses.

What should I do? Am I in the wrong?

TLDR - Boyfriend won’t come to family bbq because of his strange sleep schedule.

(Edited for clarity)

submitted by /u/untolerabl
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* This article was originally published here

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Why would he now only be looking for casual 26 f 30 m?

I dated this guy for 6 months and in the beginning he was telling me how nice he is and that he cares so much about being a good boyfriend. He had always had a girlfriend from the age of 17, had he had 5 serious relationships before we dated when he was 28, of of which he had been with a woman for 6 years from the age of 17 to 23. He said all his mates try and set him up with their sisters as they know he’d be a good supportive partner

But he never planned or took me on a date, became critical and made me feel unappreciated . His evil dirty looks he gave and how he got annoyed with little things I did with no intention made me feel sad

He dumped me and now he’s on tinder looking for ‘a casual relationship’

Honestly don’t know what I did to this man to think he no longer wants a relationship, but I treated him with care and respect and I was kind and supportive and planned fun things.

tldr embarrassed as even he has had long term relationships and I never have done. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me

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* This article was originally published here

Friday, May 19, 2023

Boyfriend won’t have sex with me

For around a year now my partner has not wanted to have sex with me. We were fine for around a year prior casually seeing each other then fine at the start of our relationship but something changed for him and now he just never wants me. I’ve tried to ask what’s wrong and he tells me different things all the time, every reason possible so I don’t know which one it actually is and what I can even help him with. I’ve tried my best for everything I’ve tried to look different wear something nice, do my makeup, not to my makeup, I’ve tried texting him I’ve tried being forward about it or just waiting for him to initiate but nothing happens. We were having sex like once every 6 weeks, I’m 21 I don’t feel like I should be at this stage in my life right now, before I was with him I was seeing lots of people and having regular sex and felt sexually wanted but now I feel so ugly and disgusting because he just doesn’t want me. I’ve been asking for months for things to get better and he thinks they are because we have sex once or twice a month now n yeah it’s an improvement but it’s not what I need. It annoys be because when I’m not in the mood I just let him because I feel happy that he even wants me. It’s so pathetic and I feel so humiliated. It’s not even about the sex anymore it’s just about feeling wanted or pretty. I have no idea what to do I feel like I just say the same points over and over and ask for the same things nothing happens. I don’t want to leave him because outside of sex everything is perfect he’s s perfect boyfriend but this bleeds into everything else and makes me so miserable and insecure all of the time.

TLDR: my boyfriend isn’t interested in me

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* This article was originally published here

Thursday, May 18, 2023

doing long distance with my bf

me (f18) and my bf (m19) have been together for almost two years. we’re doing long distance starting tomorrow for two months. i feel a fucking put in my stomach. i didn’t think it would be so hard. i’m going to india for a month, then he’s going to bangladesh for a month. and i know how much that sucks. we have a happy, loving relationship. we never mistreat each other, we communicate, we do everything in our power to keep our relationship sustainable and healthy. regardless of all of this why is it so goddamn hard??
we see each other everyday, by our own accord. if we don’t have plans that day, he’ll ask to take me on a drive, or i’ll ask to get food with him. suddenly not seeing each other for two months feels so wrong. it feels like next week we’re supposed to go out like normal, but instead i’ll be 9.5 hours ahead. we’ve tried to find ways to cope. we’ve decided on a schedule and when we can talk to each other. yesterday, he surprised me with little moleskin notebooks we can journal in for the duration of the two months, so after we return we can read each other’s thoughts and potentially feel so much closer. :-( i don’t know why this is so hard. am i just being an angsty teen ? we’re trying so hard to make the time fly by but i’m on the verge of sobbing at any given moment. i just wanna be able to hug him whenever i want. today is the day before i fly and everything feels so fucking hopeless. i feel a pit in my stomach. please help me with some advice. how long did you do long distance for? what was the time difference? how was it? also, am i being completely overdramatic? no matter how much him and i rationalize it, i just miss him :/

TLDR- need advice on doing long distance with my bf for two months

submitted by /u/No-Moment5136
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* This article was originally published here