My 22F boyfriend 23M had sex with me non consensually

Hello everyone,

My original post got taken down due to the edit I added so I attached it here! The link in the comments is to the post and it has some comments that are relevant to the situation if you’re interested or you can find the original post from my profile. I’m reposting this because the advice I got so far has really been helpful in navigating this situation and I’ll share some of the comments with my boyfriend which will help us navigate the situation.

ORIGINAL POST: Hi everyone I’m looking for some advice. My boyfriend and I had something traumatic happen and I’m unsure what to make of it. We’re both in our early 20s, I’m 22 he’s 23, and are high school sweethearts (we’ve been together for 5 years).

The other night we were hanging out, we grabbed food and talked. We began to fool around and I told him I didn’t want to “do it” that night but was okay to keep doing other things. Normally when this happens we either stop before we reach that point of doing “it” or I change my mind because I feel into it, but he always makes sure it’s what I want before it happens. I think as the foreplay continues I become more receptive and turned on which is why I change my mind.

During this instance I did say I wanted to in between during foreplay and when he asked if I was sure I said no and this happened a couple of times (yes I went back and forth during our foreplay which was an hour long). After a few times of this happening the next time it did he told me to grab protection and I said “I don’t want to”, I’m not sure if he thought I meant I don’t want to use protection or if he understood that I didn’t want to “do it”. He ended up doing it anyways and I fell into a state of shock and completely froze. His face was in my shoulder so he didn’t see my face. I didn’t say anything except “whats going on”, I’m not sure if he heard me say it because I didn’t get a response. The actual act was pretty quick( probably under a minute) and when he got up he saw my face and realized I looked upset and hurt and began to ask if I was okay and I told him I didn’t want to do that. He immediately apologized and looked genuinely horrified over it. I think I was still in shock so I just asked to go home, he told me he wanted me to stay but would take me home.

It’s been a few days and he’s apologized more times than I can count and brought my favorite foods and flowers to apologize. I asked him to not touch me since I still haven’t fully processed what happened and he respected my boundaries completely.

He genuinely seems remorseful and wants to make things work but I don’t know how to process this. I’m looking for advice on how to proceed from here. Is this something we can get over?

Other than this our relationship and sex life is great. We were both virgins when we met and lost our virginity to each other and have only ever been with each other. We’re very serious about our relationship and are talking about marriage soon. We’re also very integrated with each others family.

EDIT: after reading a lot of comments and thinking about our sexual encounters it may be more of a kink for me to tease him and almost edge him and then he gets to dominate. It’s both of our first times being sexual with a partner so I’ve never realized it’s a kink and I doubt he did either. Some of the things I’ve decided to discuss with him are safe words and talking out how this was a miscommunication. I’ll keep replying to comments as I can!

TLDR: my boyfriend had sex with me non consensually and I’m unsure how to proceed

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* This article was originally published here

Is it wrong of me (22f) to ask him (22m) for a casual relationship?

Bf and I have been together for about eight months but things got serious fast. I've recently realized I need some time to figure out some sexual trauma & identity related stuff on my end.

I tried to break up with him yesterday but I made him cry so much; he asked me why we couldn't fix things together so I told him we could stay together and try to fix things.

Yesterday it felt right but this morning I feel like I've made a huge mistake. I know when I'm very depressed as I am I can't sustain a relationship well.

We're going to talk again and today I want to ask him to have a more casual relationship. He keeps saying that even if we broke up he can't see himself with anyone else. I don't know why but this feels like such immense pressure on my shoulders to figure my shit out and be a good partner. But I want time to grow and heal as a person. I am starting to worry this is a right person wrong time situation. But I don't want him completely out of my life because I love him. And he was upset at the idea of me kicking him to the curb.

Is asking to see each other casually and stepping the relationship back cruel? Should I just try for a clean break in our conversation today? I really don't want to do this but I'm not the kind of person to jerk another person around to wait for me to figure my shit.

TL;DR: I want to break up with my boyfriend but I want us to remain casual or at least friends. I'm worried that this is going to be too painful for the both of us, though.

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Is my gut friend(29M) try to flirting with me(31F)

i once asked one of my guy friend, "what kind of man do you think ill end up married to?" and this guy friend answered me, "a guy like me" i swear my heart was about to burst at that time. i need to know if am i over reacting or is it just a casual jokes? another situation is he was very mindful of what i told him.

i once told him he looks good without wearing a cap, and since then he doesnt wear a cap anymore. when i told him, " can you just and go fix your hair please? i dont like it" he goes to the bathroom and fixing his hair and said its because of me that he fix his hair.im quiet shocked that my words was matter to him because im sure he could just ignore it.

help me,i need opinion to clear my head. TL;DR!

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* This article was originally published here

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SLU pep band hires director amid rocky relationship with athletics  St. Louis Post-Dispatch

* This article was originally published here

The Bookworm Sez: 'How Trust Works' looks at science of ... - Idaho Press

The Bookworm Sez: 'How Trust Works' looks at science of ...  Idaho Press

* This article was originally published here

Is it cheating if I(24M) have had sex a short time before I started dating (22F)?

I know the title sounds absurd but please, keep reading.

I have been knowing this girl L for a couple years but have never thought much about her. We didn't really talk much.

Starting from June we "accidentally" started talking more and we started texting like once every two weeks or something (stupid memes and stuff like that). I also invited her to a camping trip in mid August.

In July an old friend of mine came to visit me and she confessed feelings for me. I told her I didn't want a relationship with her but she insisted in at least a test drive and, after a bit of pushing, I sadly accepted. In my mind I was not in a relationship and also I was not texting all that much L anyway.

After she left I went in the camping trip with L and others and we started getting closer and we went on a date a few days later.

Now, I want my relationships to be transparent but I feel like it sounds so bad to tell someone that I have had sex with someone else like 1 week and half before our first date. (Btw we only talked and walked on the date, I'm not going to Speedrun things but still)

What do you think? With a logical thinking I have done nothing wrong but morally I feel like I have betrayed her or something... Am I thinking too much of it? Thank you for the attention

Tl;Dr

Have had sex few days before starting hanging out with a girl, is it morally correct?

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I regret the break up

I (21f) broke up with my broke up with my boyfriend (25m) and I’m not sure if i regret it or not? We were together for 3 years and some months. We had a break for maybe 1 week and We had a couple arguments but I miss him so much. I’m trying to date but it’s so difficult when you can’t get someone else out of your head. My ,now, ex didn’t treat me terribly or anything. He actually was sweet and tried his best, I think I just was over it. The first year I was in tears, We would argue about always simple things. I let things slide because he had never had a girlfriend before. I had to over communicate, and call his mom to make him understand what I needed. Even then it felt like he was halfing it. I didn’t feel loved and I don’t know why. Maybe it was the little things? Maybe I asked for too much?

TL;DR Don’t know if I broke up with my bf because of feelings or ‘simple things’.

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* This article was originally published here