I think my (18m) gf (18f) is depressed

As the title says, i think my gf may be depressed or burnt out and i have no clear image of anything I could do to help.

Basically we've been toghether for close to 8 months and so far it was good, with no problem that we couldn t find a solution to. She's a bit of a fragile person from an emotional pov but on all the other fronts she's the smartest, cutest and outright person i've ever got to know. Anyways, she came to my place some weeks ago and one of my relatives said in a joking manner that we have totally different career paths and passions and we ll also go in different cities for university so what will happen then, which she took as a joke initially ( as it was meant to be ) or so I tought.

Fast forward a few weeks and she started to get colder not only with me but with everyone in her social circle and started to have struggles with sleep, eating almost one meal a day and reasponding to messages after long intervals of time, which is not usual for her at all. I didn t think much of it since she also had some stressful situations in that period and a competition in another city to attend for 4-5 days.

Anyways, this week she texted me after classes one day and told me that she feels unable to do anything anymore and that if I d be ok with taking a break, but that she would love to meet up to express her feelings and see me. We talked about it and I reassured that if it s meant to be it ll work and it s of no use to stress herself out based on a problem that doesn t even exist yet, since we don t know what could change in eachothers career plans and uni choices. She seemed better after the talk, in the beggining she was crying and looked totally broken but at the end i managed to somehow put a smile on her face. After that she said that she needs some more time and asked me to wait a bit for her to sort herself out because she feels like a shitty person for not giving in as much as usual to our relationship, but without breaking up or taking a break, so we re still together. 

The thing is that i have no ideea how to help her or if I can even do that at all, except for giving her all the space she needs. Any advice would be appreciated. Also we still text daily since then, but she s still cold and responds after several hours and has a messed up sleep schedule. ( going to therapy is not an option since her parents believe that therapy is just a scam )

I also feel anxious since i don t know if anything will go back to normal or if it is me who caused the problem and she s saying i didn t do anything wrong just so she doesn t hurt me. I am overthinking all this so i wanted to check out eith others opinions as well. 

TL;DR! I think my gf is depressed and i have no idea how to help

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My bf keeps jerking off to random women on the internet. Should I break up?

TL;DR My bf jerks off to random women on the internet. I asked him to stop, he says he will but doesn't. Should I break up?

So I've (30f) been with my boyfriend (30m) for almost 2y. I have complete confidence that he would never cheat. Or at least not physically. But he keeps jerking off to random women on facebook. Women with big breasts and bottoms and full makeup. And that makes me super uncomfortable. On one side for obvious reasons, and on another side because the women are the complete opposite of what I am physically which makes me insecure that my boyfriend is not attracted to me.

I know all this because one time I caught him doing it. After that, from time to time I check his facebook history and confirm that he keeps doing it despite me being clear that I didn't want him to do it. He just got better at hiding it but I always know that he keeps doing it because I keep going there to confirm. So I've been thinking about breaking it off for quite some time. First because me going into his facebook history is a complete lack of privacy respect and already a red flag that there's no trust in the relationship. And secondly because I've asked him many times to stop it and he always says he will, but I keep finding out that he continues to do it. He is not respecting my boundaries. This is really hard for me, because apart from this, our relationship is very good. He's loving and caring, we share the same interests, we are super confortable with each other and can completely see ourselves being together in the future. However, I feel like what I'm asking is not that big of an effort and the fact that he is not willing to stop it and keeps getting better at hiding it is a major red flag as well. Am I exagerating or should I break up?

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My (27) boyfriend (M32) won’t be sincere about his sexual desires which hinders my self-work to become more trusting in him.

My boyfriend was originally straight until we met and dated together. He usually considers himself as having no label on his preference, meaning probably something similar to pansexual I guess. Lately I’ve been under the assumption he’s pretty intrigued or turned on by vaginas, which would be normal if he’s attracted to both sexes (even I, being gay, cannot lie I’m curious how vaginal penetration would feel) and as he’s never had sex with a woman since I was his first sexual partner. The thing is when I talk about it with him, he tells me and insists that no, « i’m enough », « he doesn’t even thing about that kind of matter » , « he’s not interested in having sex with someone else other than me » and what not but he always ends up contradicting himself and if I push him long enough he will finally admit « yeah maybe I’m a bit intrigued or turned on by vaginas bla bla» but the fact he’s not sincere with himself, therefore not sincere with me makes me mad. I have big struggles trusting others, and I do my best to trust him, but when he acts like this, it ultimately ruins my attempts at improving my flaws. When he lies, he usually has a little childish smirk on his face. Last day, I confronted him and he said it wasn’t true -with that little liar uncomfortable smirk-, that I was annoying by acting so distrustful. The same evening, when he told me something (he was honest this time) he told me I could trust him because this time he didn’t smirk from discomfort, meaning he did lie before. I again confronted him about it and he blabbered as if he didn’t remember and stumbled on his words as if confused and we got upset at each other. He’s an amazing boyfriend, well-attentioned, caring, innocent, loving and affectionate but I hate when he behaves in this insincere kind of way. Should I rationalize and work on myself or am I in the right to be continuously upset by his behavior? Thank you.

Tl;DR: boyfriend in gay relationship seems to be turned on by vaginas but won’t admit it which hinders my attempt at being more trusting.

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* This article was originally published here

My gf(F21) does not want to have sex with me(M21) because of religious purposes

My gf (F21) wants to stop having sex with me(M21) because of religious reasons

My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 6 years and she and I are very close. I love her a lot and she is my best friend. That being said while I do love her on a emotional level, I also feel like sex is a large part of a relationship. In the beginning of our relationship, we had sex frequently, however that stopped when her grandparents moved into her house. For three years straight from about 2017-2020 we did not have sex. It wasn’t until later in 2020 that we began having sex again, as we started to go to hotels and doing it at my dorm, since I had just started college and had my own place. Granted, during this time she has explained that she sometimes felt guilty about having sex because she felt dirty sometimes or that she was doing something wrong. This is understandable as she grew up with semi strict parents. While we didn’t have sex often because of a couple of reasonable factors, we still found time to do it and enjoyed it a lot. I honestly felt like the sexual aspect of our relationship was staring to get better. However, in the fall of 2022 my girlfriend became increasingly religious and wanted to build a relationship with God. I really think it’s great that she’s doing that as she was really searching for something spiritually.(before becoming religious she was into spirituality and crystals and stuff like that). However, now after becoming religious she started to explain how she feels guilty that she had sex with me before marriage. While I knew this was coming, today she asked if we can stop having sex entirely until marriage. I totally respect her decision and I’m not pressuring her for sex but I’m trying to get her to understand that this a difficult change for me, especially since we recently started having sex after a 3 year hiatus. I’m kinda stuck on what to do or think.

TL;DR : Gf of six years want to suddenly stop having sex due to her new found faith.

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what can i (16f) do to get over severe jealousy and abandonment issues? im scared im going to self sabotage my relationship because of it

ok so for some background me and my girlfriend (also 16f) started dating almost 7 months ago, but weve been friends since 4th grade so we have a way closer bond and stronger connection with each other than most hs relationships

so basically i need help learning how to deal with jealously and abandonment issues, like it gets really bad sometimes

for example, she plays basketball and theres been times where ive cried (a lot) because she had to go to practice instead of hang out with me, and then ill start thinking a bunch of bad things about her teammates, like i genuinely do not like any of them at all, and this is a super dumb reasoning but in my head i feel like a lot of lesbians play basketball so the chances that someone else on the team is gay is actually kinda high, and if one of them is they might have a crush on her or try to ask her out or something, and i try to be nice whenever i talk to the other basketball girls but on the inside i cant help but hate them.

but its kinda like that whenever shes with anybody, and then also whenever im not with her my anxiety starts going crazy and ill start thinking about how she probably doesn't even like me that much and shes only dating me just to date someone, whereas with me like shes the only person i can see myself ever being with, like even marriage isnt enough i literally want to become a part of her (yes ik that sounds weird but idk how else to describe it)

and that kinda ties in to the abandonment stuff because im so terrified of not being with her, like i seriously dont know if i could live through a breakup with her. and then people will say that highschool relationships arent supposed to last and when i hear that i just completely break down, like i can already feel my hewr beating fatser and my breathing becoming more labored and my eyes are starting to tear up just from writing it down so im probably gonna get a panic attack soon now that its on my mmind and im thinking about it so much right now

but im just so scared that all my own issues are gonna end up causing problems, and i keep getting the feeling that im gonna self sabotage our relationship somehow, the worst thing i keep thinking about as far as this stuff goes is that if highschool relationships are supposed to end soon anyways, and i know that i wont be able to handle that, then i should just k myself now cause it'll be less painful than breaking up at some point in the future, and i dont actually wanna do it at all but the thought keeps popping up in my head

but yeah its like super early and my anxiety like scary bad right now so i cant rly think clearly so i forgot what else i was gonna say so hopefully this makes enough since cause i really need help

TL;DR: i get extremely jealous of everyone my girlfriend hamgs out with and im terrified of her leaving me at some point, and im scared that these issues are gonna cause problems in our relationship if i cant learn how to manage them better

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* This article was originally published here

What is modern monogamy? How it's saving some long-term relationships - USA TODAY

What is modern monogamy? How it's saving some long-term relationships  USA TODAY

* This article was originally published here

I rejected the breakfast my boyfriend made me because he stayed up all night

My boyfriend (m27) and I F(28) have opposite sleep schedules. We have been living together for about 1 year and we have had ups and downs. I wake up by 9 every day. He stays up until the earliest 4am and often times until 7 or 8am playing video games and doing god knows what else. He is constantly telling me he wants to change and I always tell him yeah I support you but I can't do it for you.

Today is Sunday. Last night I wasn't feeling well and he said he would clean up the dishes from dinner since I cooked. I went to bed around midnight and woke up at 9 to go for a run to find him in the kitchen. I said "You haven't slept yet huh" and he said "No I was doing the dishes and I went to the bakery to get us pastries. I made you breakfast." I said "Well I'm going running now." and I left the house. I was immediately enraged because I knew that this meant that he will now sleep the entire day, meaning I have to creep around our house silently and that I can't go in our room comfortably if I want to get clothes or something.

But weirdly the thing making me the angriest is the breakfast he made. I could see he felt rejected but I honestly feel like he did not do that for me, he did it so he will have something to defend himself if I get mad that he stayed up all night. Also the breakfast was eggs and toast and a glass of that sugary bottled iced tea. I drink coffee in the morning, he doesn't, so I think he just doesnt know how to make coffee. I would literally NEVER drink iced tea first thing in the morning. I also haven't eaten pastries in a year because they give me acid reflux. I am certain I have told him this a million times. I just feel like he does not understand me at all.

He could have done the dishes last night and slept by 2 or 3am, and woken up even by 11am or even noon and I wouldn't be pissed. (Also I found the dishes were not completely done and I spent 20 min this morning finishing them and wiping the counter/ cleaning the floor) I am so disappointed that this is my relationship. I feel really guilty because he is sweet and really patient about my own many flaws. I love so many things about him but I really cannot continue like this. I am losing respect for him even though he is financially stable thanks to some good investments and actually makes more money than I do. He just doesn't have to wake up and go to a job every day like me. I wonder if we are just too different. I'm scared to talk when he wakes up because I don't know how to frame my concerns. Any advice welcome

TLDR: Bf stayed up all night gaming, tried to make me breakfast but it was food I don't eat. He feels rejected and I feel misunderstood and unhappy.

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* This article was originally published here