I (19F) don't know how to help my sister (23F) grow up.

My older sister (22 years old) has just finished university, and yet she still acts like a child. She's obsessed with fantasy games and YA books, which is all she does all day. Now these would be perfectly fine as interests, but ever since she's been home this is all she's done.

She doesn't help around with the chores in the house, as she stays up late playing games, so only wakes up at 1pm, once we're already having lunch. Whenever you ask her to do anything, she complains and asks you why you don't do it since you're already up. Or, she claims she's feeling tired, has a migraine, has a stomachache, truly any excuse imaginable. She's constantly bothered by some apparent affliction that prevents her from doing anything but playing games on her phone or watching the same tv shows over and over.

She also has retained weird behaviors from our childhood. We used to have "assigned seating", which if I don't respect she gets insanely angry about, to the point that she'll become physically aggressive. She is very territorial over her belongings, including basic items like cups, which she does not allow me to use.

She is meant to look for a job, but is stalling on doing so. She claims that she "needs time" and can't rush things, which really ties in with her inability to budget, as she spends huge amounts monthly. She has a general lack of understanding of finances and monetary value. She says that she'll just "open a company", with no plan, no idea of the workings of a business. My parents and I keep on trying to tell her that she needs to change, but she's stubborn, asserting that her spending is normal, and that the rest of her friends are taking a break before working. It's getting concerning.

I don't know how to help her. She has a tunnel vision when it comes to her life. Whenever me and my parents give her advice, she bursts out crying like a child, saying that "she doesn't want to talk about this right now" and goes upstairs on her phone again. It's truly tiring me out. I'm tired of feeling concerned each time I look at her, but I want her to get out of this rut and grow and develop. How can I help her see that she needs to change her attitude to life?

TL;DR: my sister refuses to grow up, not letting go of old childish habits and refusing to develop an understanding of budgeting/to get a job. I don't know how to help her see that she needs to change.

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I [26F] thought I would be child-free forever. I married my husband [31M] who was child-free too, but over the years I’ve realised I want a child, and I want it to be his. He’s adamant that he doesn’t want to split up, but I know he doesn’t want a child at this stage. Can I just wait and see….?

We’ve been together for 5 years.

We both agreed from meeting one another that we didn’t want children. My husband doesn’t want children in part because of his mental health and in part because of his deep desire for stability. However, he thinks we’d make good parents and would otherwise have a bit of an ethical obligation to have children as we think we’d raise good people

I didn’t want children because I’m young, and I grew up in a narcissistic household and had my own mental health issues (anxiety, worthlessness, etc) and just didn’t think I would.

I’m still growing and have years until I’d plan to have a child, but I know I’ve healed in many important ways, and now I feel like I have a lot of love and effort to give to raising a person. I want to spend my time slowly becoming more capable and prepared to have a child (financially, emotionally, etc)

My husband doesn’t share this perspective at this time. Do I need him to? He prefers not to have children, he doesn’t want children. But he says he knows what I want, understands it, and would never leave me over this. He would be happier with me having a child than being apart.

This tears me up inside because initially, I wouldn’t want our child coming into this world with a father who wasn’t motivated on his own to be a father. I wouldn’t risk that resentment, or the child feeling unwanted

But then, knowing my husband as well as I do, he’d be amazing, the child would never be unwanted. He’d love the child, be incredibly involved, learn every day to be a good father. It’s just the way he approaches life, and I’m sure of it.

So, I guess my concern is over whether staying together and seeing how this goes over time is reasonable, or if I’m just delaying the inevitable (breakup) out of my own feelings of desperation

I really, really want to be with him. I also really, really want to raise a child with him.

tl;dr: Husband doesn’t want kids, I didn’t, now I do. He doesn’t want to leave me, and could see himself having a kid with me. I feel bad about this - would it be unwise to stick it out for a couple years and see how we go?

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I hooked up with my roommate

My(23F) ex boyfriend and I recently broke up, and my friend(24M) offered me his place to stay. This was about 3 months ago, but we’ve been friends since we were kids so I settled right in.

We’ve always been very comfortable around each other and he’s been doing a great job taking care of me. I’m 20 weeks pregnant and he’s been doing nearly all the cooking/cleaning even taking me to my doctors appointments. I’ve always had some feelings for him but they’ve just escalated recently.

Last night, he came home from a date and brought a girl home. I’ve been pretty jealous of him bringing girls home recently and this time I finally told him how I felt when she had went to the bathroom and we were awkwardly left together in the living room. He was surprised, but apologized then asked the girl to leave making up an excuse about being tired.

I literally poured my heart out I was so emotional and he admitted that he felt the same way but didn’t think that I had feelings for him. He didn’t want to say anything to complicate things. We talked for hours before we finally hooked up and now I’ve been awake in shock while he’s still asleep. So much for not complicating things.

But like where do I go from here? Do I ask him what we are or just play it by ear? I don’t want to move out but I don’t know how this all will work now

TLDR: I hooked up with my roommate and I don’t know where to go from here

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Friend insists on bringing his girlfriend to everything.

Ever since one of my best friends (22M) and his girlfriend (23F) got together the only times she’s not been present when he is is when she’s too busy/lazy, which means that she’s more or less always there. I don’t hate her or think they should stop dating but she's doesn't belong some of the time. For starters, sometimes there are very obvious “guy nights” (that we literally say is a boy’s night out) and he still brings her along because “she said she was interested” or “she’s kind of a tomboy anyway”. It’s usually 4-5 of us (all 22M) who have known each other since elementary school and none of us really wants her around for these hangouts (and some other things, I’ll get into that). When she is around the topic always shifts towards her same 3 hobbies (art, her degree, and the one video game she plays).

I’ve had times when I had just gone through something bad where I asked him to hang out one on one to talk about some personal stuff and he brings her along too. We’ve tried many ways to indicate that she’s not welcome to this one thing or another but it’s not seemed to work, and we’re pretty hesitant to just tell him to stop inviting her straight up as that feels pretty rude, and it’s not affecting us so much that we’re unable to have fun for the most part. Trust me when I say that I’ve given her a lot of chances, but at the end of the day, I can’t get along with her as well as he wants us to, and that’s fine. This sentiment has been echoed by our other friends too.

Alternatively I guess if someone has a way to make her stop trying to insert herself into every conversation and make herself the center of attention every time she’s hanging out with us that’d be nice too. She tagged along to one of our friends’s birthday where she bombarded the karaoke machine with songs that was in her mother tongue and nobody else could sing for over 2 hours and we all had to tolerate it. She refused to do shots and made her boyfriend not drink as much so they just sat there in a corner and kinda ruined the mood for everybody. When another friend brought this up to him he just copped it out to her being “eccentric” and “quirky in a cute way”

They also expect my girlfriend (20F) and her friends to talk a lot with her, despite the only thing they have in common being the fact that they’re girls. My friend seems to think they fit in really well and always asks my girlfriend to invite them out with her friends again. Again I don’t mind her being around some of the time when we go get food or like bowling or darts or a big party or something, and I don’t think she’s a bad person, she just has no place in our group of friends beyond a vague set of shared interests that her boyfriend insists we all shift to now. I don’t know how I should communicate this without antagonizing her or making her not want to hang out with any of us again.

Cut some stuff out because this is already way too long and you probably already get the idea

TL;DR - friend is delusional and thinks his girlfriend is a social butterfly and brings her everywhere but ends up annoying most of us, need to know how to make him stop inviting her to everything without being an asshole.

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I snooped and now am upset. Do I have the right to bring it up?

I (f38) snooped my partners (m35) Instagram account and looked at the accounts he follows. Before we got together a year ago I knew he followed a lot of porn accounts. I told him it was upsetting for me to see him looking at this frequently and said he was happy to unfollow them.

I snooped tonight and saw he has followed a new one. It’s really upset me and I don’t know if have the right to now talk to him about it because I’m the one that snooped. It’s not about him being in the wrong, he is who he is and I know he loves me, this is on me. I’m the one upset. Normally I would just bring it up and talk about how I feel but I feel ashamed because I snooped.

Do I talk to him, own it and tell him it’s really upsetting? Or just find a way to live with it.

Tl:Dr - I checked out what accounts my partner follows on Instagram and he’s followed a new porn one after telling me he unfollowed them as he knows it upsets me.

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How do I tell dad I don't want to keep any relationship with him?

I know it sounds bad but there's a long story behind it. I'm 22F, my mom is 46F and Dad is 48M. 7 years ago my mom cheated on dad. They got divorced and mom started dating the guy she cheated on dad with 35M, they're now married.

My dad has been verbally abusive and greedy throughout his life. I was 15 when they divorced and a custody battle ensued where my mom wont primary custody of me with me spending 2 days a week with dad. He berated mom which was then reasonable for what happened but over time it got so bad he openly told me he wished he could strangle mom. My mom was wrong to have an affair but she's been an incredible mom. She gave birth to my stepbrother 2 years after their divorce.

My dad is always obsessed with mom and her husband. He won't move on and let them move on. He won't seek therapy or any other way that can help him. On the other hand, my mom and her husband have always been supportive of me.

Why do I want to cut my dad from my life? I'm tired of the berating and abuses he hurls my mom. I'm going to move out next year(I'm living with mom and her husband) whenever I stay at dad it's a hellfire for me. What to do?

Tldr: My dad was greedy and now is abusive after my mom cheated on him and remarried. How do I tell him I don't want to keep any relationship with him?

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Looking for a podcast guest to share funny/ bad relationship stories

Hi guys! Recently started a podcast and I’d love to find someone to do an episode with who has a particularly interesting relationship story. (My episodes go for upwards of 40 minutes so please be able to have more than a 5 minute conversation) a little bit about myself…I’m Jake, 22 and gay. Have been in a 3 year relationship plus 2 other shorter ones and have dealt with my fair share of strange men🤣. Gone on a date with the tallest man in Australia (he stole my jacket), dated an AFL umpire and went on 4 dates with a man who’s Dad owned a private jet. Ifyou think you’d be a good fit and have any interesting stories I’d love to hear from you!

TL;DR: looking for a podcast guest, am gay, was engaged at one point in my first relationship, looking for people with interesting stories

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