Ever since one of my best friends (22M) and his girlfriend (23F) got together the only times she’s not been present when he is is when she’s too busy/lazy, which means that she’s more or less always there. I don’t hate her or think they should stop dating but she's doesn't belong some of the time. For starters, sometimes there are very obvious “guy nights” (that we literally say is a boy’s night out) and he still brings her along because “she said she was interested” or “she’s kind of a tomboy anyway”. It’s usually 4-5 of us (all 22M) who have known each other since elementary school and none of us really wants her around for these hangouts (and some other things, I’ll get into that). When she is around the topic always shifts towards her same 3 hobbies (art, her degree, and the one video game she plays).
I’ve had times when I had just gone through something bad where I asked him to hang out one on one to talk about some personal stuff and he brings her along too. We’ve tried many ways to indicate that she’s not welcome to this one thing or another but it’s not seemed to work, and we’re pretty hesitant to just tell him to stop inviting her straight up as that feels pretty rude, and it’s not affecting us so much that we’re unable to have fun for the most part. Trust me when I say that I’ve given her a lot of chances, but at the end of the day, I can’t get along with her as well as he wants us to, and that’s fine. This sentiment has been echoed by our other friends too.
Alternatively I guess if someone has a way to make her stop trying to insert herself into every conversation and make herself the center of attention every time she’s hanging out with us that’d be nice too. She tagged along to one of our friends’s birthday where she bombarded the karaoke machine with songs that was in her mother tongue and nobody else could sing for over 2 hours and we all had to tolerate it. She refused to do shots and made her boyfriend not drink as much so they just sat there in a corner and kinda ruined the mood for everybody. When another friend brought this up to him he just copped it out to her being “eccentric” and “quirky in a cute way”
They also expect my girlfriend (20F) and her friends to talk a lot with her, despite the only thing they have in common being the fact that they’re girls. My friend seems to think they fit in really well and always asks my girlfriend to invite them out with her friends again. Again I don’t mind her being around some of the time when we go get food or like bowling or darts or a big party or something, and I don’t think she’s a bad person, she just has no place in our group of friends beyond a vague set of shared interests that her boyfriend insists we all shift to now. I don’t know how I should communicate this without antagonizing her or making her not want to hang out with any of us again.
Cut some stuff out because this is already way too long and you probably already get the idea
TL;DR - friend is delusional and thinks his girlfriend is a social butterfly and brings her everywhere but ends up annoying most of us, need to know how to make him stop inviting her to everything without being an asshole.
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