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Sunday, July 24, 2022

Met an old flame. Boyfriend is deeply hurt.

TDLR: I met an old flame I went out with briefly 4 years ago, since I thought the past is in the past. My boyfriend was deeply hurt though.

My boyfriend (33) and I (26) have been together for over seven months and are very very much in love. Last week, I got a message from an old friend, who I went out with on two dates about four years ago. It's probably worth mentioning here that I kinda self-sabotaged the relationship with this guy because I was in a really bad and vulnerable place mentally. We had no real closure, but he still remained a good friend and stayed in touch with me, even after he left the country. Anyway, so when this friend texted, he said he was back in town for two days and invited me to a gathering of our old friend group. I was under the assumption that because we hadn't been anything in a really long time, and because I have no feelings left, it'd be okay to go and say hello. I was upfront with my boyfriend about this and while he wasn't thrilled about it, he didn't stop me from doing so. But when I did return from the meeting, my boyfriend seemed really cold, upset and distant, which he never is. And while he's usually really affectionate, this time he wasn't. His main pain point stems from the fact that he feels that my friend (the past flame) still harbours romantic feelings. I feel really sad and helpless. I had no intention whatsoever to hurt my boyfriend, but this feels terrible. He did mention that he loves me very much quite a few times, but that he doesn't know how to process/deal with thus pain. I'm utterly confused and hurt myself. Any advice would help. Thanks.

submitted by /u/Icy-young-_-confused
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* This article was originally published here

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