Hi everyone, I'm not usually on this subreddit but I've been wondering about this for a long time and I don't know what to do about it.
My girlfriend won't really vent to anyone. First off she says she can only confide in close friends. I found out very recently she doesn't actually confide in anyone, she just says a few details or a certain situation and omitting lots of info because she doesn't want the person she's speaking to to judge her or me. Especially me, she hates the fact anyone would ever tell her that her boyfriend needs therapy or something similar.
She also hates therapy. She is convinced that she needs to fix all her issues herself (she is able to but it takes years or extreme focus for weeks), she also doesn't trust any info to strangers so having online friends, therapists and similar situations are completely alien to her.
When I told her I have online friends I confide in she was outraged telling me that not only they could use that info to do harm to us (unlikely) but also that they're gonna judge her and that online friends will never be even close to IRL friends, which I basically don't have because I don't click with many people. But online friends I do have and we are very close.
I realize it's partly her self esteem issues speaking and she probably doesn't wanna look weak in other people's eyes. I also realize it was her upbringing to make her this closed and afraid of criticism and judgement.
I have been thinking of telling her she is coming very close to how her mother is behaving, taking every burden on herself and never being able to admit anything to her family. Hence why she's in a bad relationship with her, because they can't tell each other anything meaningful. I had to come in and fix things between them at times.
So basically I'm asking: how can I explain to her venting not only feels good but it's also healthy and necessary for all relationships and it's crucial in keeping our relationship healthy as well?
TL;DR My gf doesn't vent to any friend or therapist, how do I explain to her she can't keep bottling up her feelings?
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