For some context, my bf and I have been together for about a year and a half, and we’ve lived together for about 6 months. He’s very hot headed and gets angry at the drop of a hat, and I’m a very sensitive person. When things with him are good, they’re really really good. But lately, things with him are rarely good.
His brother was in the IDF, and with everything going on in Israel/Palestine, his brother recently went back to Israel. This has (understandably) put a lot of stress on him, and he’s been very upset lately. 2 days ago, we got in a fight over something stupid, that escalated very very quickly. I told him he was yelling at me and I didn’t like when he spoke to me like that, and he said that by accusing him of yelling at me, I was gaslighting him. This type of fight happens often, where I tell him I feel like he’s yelling at me, and he tells me that I’m gaslighting him by making that accusation. However, after the most recent fight, he left immediately after work to go stay at his dads house. I texted him to see if he and I could meet up to talk about what happened, to which he said “I refuse to have a conversation with you about this. A conversation with you is not productive”. He hasn’t spoken to me since, and it’s now been days since we’ve spoken in person or seen each other.
To be honest, I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him for some time. He can be very manipulative, and since the start of our relationship, I feel like I’ve changed so much of myself to accommodate his anger that I don’t even remember who I was before the relationship started. But everytime I think about breaking up with him, things turn around and he’s the person I remember falling in love with. He’s never left and ignored me before, and I’m not sure our relationship will ever bounce back from this. What’s worse, is that he owes me about $3000 in rent he hasn’t paid (probably another product of him manipulating me) and if I break up with him, I’ll likely never be paid that money back. What do I do? Do I break up with him if/when he returns? Or do I hope that this space he’s taking is what he needs to come back a more level headed person?
TL;DR my boyfriend has been ignoring me for 2 days, and our relationship is problematic as is. Should I break up with him or hope the space he’s taking is what he needs to come back a more level headed person?
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