when is he gonna ask me to be his gf?

Okay so I (18F) have been talking to him (24M) for about a month and 1/2. We met on a dating app and planned a little date about a week after meeting. We met up and everything went amazing! Since then I’ve been going over to his place about once a week sometimes more, and sometimes spending the night.

I went into this not sure if I wanted a relationship right away as I just got out of one and I was honest about it. He didn’t mind at all. We did also agree that we were going to be exclusive as we’ve been sleeping together this entire time. The thing is, he treats me like I’m his gf (which I love). There are so many little things he does when we’re together that make me feel that way (I can go into detail in comments if that helps). We also text each other every day (sometimes facetime too) and have given each other pet names (baby, honey, etc).

There hasn’t been any I love you’s which I honestly appreciate because in every other relationship I’ve been it, it’s been said way too early. Anyways, we both really enjoy spending time together and have both told our friends/family about each other. I want to make it clear he isn’t hiding me and just not trying to commit, because that’s far from what’s going on. I also don’t mind not putting a label on our relationship at the moment, but I’m obviously posting this and the topic has been on my mind. So should I let this just blossom more or should I bring this up to him?

TL;DR He treats me like i’m his gf, but hasn’t asked me to be.

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* This article was originally published here

Was it normal that my [24f] now ex-partner [26m] asked me often to sleep outside our home?

Hi everyone.

Well, recently the almost 5 year relationship I was in sadly ended. It was very intense and the last months coming to it's end were permeated with depression and some emotional abuse.

My question is: was it normal or acceptable that my partner would often ask me to leave the house and sleep somewhere else when he was having deep depression attacks?

Sometime I would, because I became scared of him and he would threaten to leave the house by himself (no phone, wallet or keys). But most times, I would be to scared to leave him alone because he would threaten suicide.

In the end, he mentioned he was deeply hurt by the times I did not respect him and left him alone in the house. Should I have left the house everytime he asked me to?

What should I make of this and how should I proceed if situations like this arise in my future life? I don't want to hurt anyone else or myself anymore.

Thanks for reading

TLDR: Ex partner asked me to sleep outside our home when he was having deep depression attacks. Is this normal/acceptable?

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what to do?

So I (22F) have a boyfriend (23M) of 4 months, he doesn't really compliment me or show me off. For the past months I noticed that he still stares at other girls, I think he has what's called "wandering eyes". There are some times that when we're together he'll stop holding my hands or stop being sweet to me when there is another girl around specifically pretty girls. He also jokes about liking another girl or saying directly to me that another girl is pretty. The other girls he compliments look very different from me. I don't really know what to feel because I don't know if I'm just being insecure or what he's doing is actually wrong. Any thoughts and advice?

TLDR: boyfriend does sus things and I'm not sure if I'm just being insecure or not

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Still acting like a couple after breakup

Since breaking up about 2 1/2 months ago, him (25m) and I (26f) have remained extremely close. For the first two weeks we had very limited contact, and we weren’t sure we wanted to talk to each other ever again. Slowly, we started falling back into old routines and we began to text each other almost every day. From there, we started playing video games again. A little less than a month after our break up, we began exchanging photos with each other and have hooked up multiple times — the last time being almost a month ago. Since we last hooked up, we’ve been on the phone daily (and nightly). The only people he talks to more than me are his own parents. It’s rare that we’re off the phone for more than an hour. This wasn’t something I initiated — and at first it was because he wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to be alone because he has health issues and me being there is a comfort to him. But now we’re constantly on the phone (oftentimes just in silence to just be in each other’s company) and if we aren’t on the phone, he’ll call me up right before going to bed and sleep with me on the phone. We hang out in person every so often, we play video games nightly, we’re constantly consulting each other about goings ons in our lives, we still look to each other to make plans with to do stuff in the future (like attending concerts, etc)…lately we do a lot of stuff we did while we were dating. It feels a lot like we’re a couple — without being a couple. I think his parents even think we’re still dating. And some people see how we interact with each other and assume we’re together. It feels like things get more and more borderline like an actual relationship the more time goes by.

For background — we dated and lived together for four years. He moved home with his parents approximately a month before the breakup. He initiated the breakup, the period of not talking, us picking back up communication, the fwb encounters we’ve had, and this current trend of him being on the phone with me constantly. The phone thing is very reminiscent of when we first started dating and we were inseparable on video calls until we got serious and moved in together.

It feels like a weird situation to be in. I love our friendship. I love having him in my life. I’m not opposed to getting back together eventually. Lately, we’ve been acting more and more like a couple without actually being a couple.

tl;dr my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up a few months ago and have started acting more and more like a couple without actually being one.

How normal is it to basically still be acting like a couple even though we broke up 2 1/2 months ago? What are the odds him and I wind up eventually getting back together?

I don’t necessarily have an issue with how things are between us. I’m kind of curious as to what other people’s takes on the situation are.

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Grindr to Delve Into Dating as More Users Seek Long-Term Relationships - The Wall Street Journal

Grindr to Delve Into Dating as More Users Seek Long-Term Relationships  The Wall Street Journal

* This article was originally published here

TLDR: I don't know if I should marry my fiance (47,M) after a thresome

TLDR: I don't know if I should marry my fiance (47,M) after a thresome

If anyone wants to read this, although is gonna be semi long, I would appreciate it. If not, all good. 😂 I'm a 28 year old female,based in Florida, Tarpon Springs. I've been with my fiance for the past two years. To make long story kind of short, around 2 months ago I came to the idea that we should have a threeway with another girl. Why, I don't know. I am attracted to girls as well (not a cheater, just saying why I came to the idea), and I also figured that's kind of every man's dream. Or at least that's what society tells us girls lol. Anyway, yeah, we did it. I thought it was going to be great. (Don't get me wrong, the girl was awesome, nothing wrong on her part nor she wanted anything serious with either of us, it was just a one time thing). But me on the other hand...when it actually happened, it broke me. I realized I made a mistake. Huge mistake. I didn't react at that time because I didn't wanted to make the girl feel bad or like she did something wrong, because she didn't. Fast forward to now, I'm broken. I get random flashbacks of him and her and it just breaks my heart and I don't know how to move on. Is this something that's fixable? And for the people who will say: well, you wanted it. Yes, that is true. But were you ever in a situation where, let's say, Starbucks, puts out a new drink and you're like YES I WANT TO TRY THAT, and you do, and then you maybe realize; ew, this is nasty, I don't want to have it ever again? I'm not comparing our relationship to Starbucks lol, but you get the point. Anyway, thank you for whoever will offer advice/help/whatever. Much love.

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I (F28) think my partner (M30) is purposely trying to bring me down, but not?

He compliments me weekly but it doesn't always feels honest.

I remember when he drunkenly said that I'm out of his league. Don't know if it's relevant to everything below, but not sure if he actually meant it as he is good looking, "gym bro" and from wealthy family.

Anyway I noticed that anytime I get any type of male attention in front of him he denies it and acts that a guy is winking for him, his mum, sister or anyone else but me.

Recently he even got into a little disagreement with his brother as his brother said that I was nearly snached from them and how those guys tried on with me just in front of them. My partner denied it and said that "no, this attention was for Sara" (their sister who was walking way behind us.) which alienated me and his brother.

I brought this up later on and told him that it seems that he doesn't care at all, and he just called me jealous and that he's worried about his little sister (F27)???..

He is also one of those men who has a tendancy to glance multiple times at atractive women even when I'm right in front of him and find it hard not to do so.

During my birthday he sat right in front of me and stared at the loud girls and guy behind me until that guy gave him a look which my boyfriend annoucend to me that he got just flirted on, to which I responded that it's most likely that he stared bit too long at one of the girls, to which he flipped and called me delulu.

Then recently before our date I changed my hair color. When he saw me his reaction was off (even though I looked my best) he seemed annoyed by it, saying that I look good but he's not sure and that my bright blue eyes next to dark hair look unnatural. Then few weeks later he said that this color looks amazing on me.

Does this looks like he is trying to make me insecure? I feel like I'm going bit crazy.

TL;DR my(F28) partner (M30) denies when I get attention in front of him from other males, weird reactions to positives in my life

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rocky first 3m of dating and still tgt?

23F dating 29M for 100+ days. first 3m of dating werent smooth, we had our ups and downs, fought a few times but communicated and talk things out, now reconciled. told a few other people online bout my rs, all of them were saying i deserve better, i shld leave etc, why am i staying?

the thing is i cant see myself leaving this rs bcos i still see the good in him (this is my first rs). i gave myself an ultimatum, if by 180 days still no flowers and a gf status i will leave.

tldr: does have anybody experienced a rocky first 3m in dating but still succeed in the relationship? pls advice/share with me your story.

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* This article was originally published here

Couples therapist Terry Real on building lasting relationships with each other and the world around us - KCRW

Couples therapist Terry Real on building lasting relationships with each other and the world around us  KCRW

* This article was originally published here

Can someone explain ?

Hello gentlemen ! I already posted a story about a guy I met on Tinder about a month ago and I need the advice of men again because his actions are confusing : Tl;Dr I (31F) met Roman (30M) on Tinder about a month ago. But As I said in my previous post a week before we were supposed to meet, he told me he saw a girl 2/3 times and clicked with her but still wanted to meet me because he had a really good connexion but only as friends. I said yes but.... since then, we have been talking every single day when on the other end he says he doesn't talk to that girl everyday. If he is busy with work and hasn't texted he would apologise profusely for not sending at least a "hi, have a great day", which is, to me, totally fine, we all get busy sometimes.

We saw each other again and talked about his relationship with her because it was supposed to be casual but she is showing that she wants more and he refuse to get attached. We ended the evening in a sauna and he said let's go take a shower it's too hot here. So we ended up taking a shower together. After that I took care of his skin (facial mask, facial massages ect...) but I was just wearing a towel at that point and decided to rest between my legs so I could massage his face.... at the end, we slept in the same bed... totally naked, hugged a bit and that's it. Now a few weeks forward, yesterday to be exact. He talks to me about this girl again, and I told him that I was happy for him because his relationship was becoming official and they would see each other maybe 2/3 a week. But... I actually realised that even if I said I was OK with a friendship.... I wasn't. He Also said that he was happy that the relationship is evolving with this girl but still refuse to get attached I sent him a text not asking him to be with me, just saying that I don't think I am a 100% ok with being friends and therefore I'll take a step back because hearing about her hurts me. He said he was extremely sad, because he really liked me as a friend. And that even if I understood that it didn't not work out between us because he met someone else right before me, it wasn't going to happen even if there wasn't any other girls, because he didn't have the "thing" with me. So he basically said, that our relationship was very particular because he really got attached to me , even more than he had with his best friends but didn't have a romantic thing. At one point he heard in my vocal message that I seemed extremely sad, said that he is here for me and started to also confess his problem insisting on the fact that he is here for me and would be mad if I'm not ok and doesn't reach out. So I'm very confused and I need you guys' opinion. Could it be that he found me attractive on photo on tinder but not in real life,Could it be that he's keeping on the side just in case... As men, what would be the reason you act like this with a woman or would you act like this.

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How can I (27F) change my boyfriend’s (29M) relationship with his mom into a normal one?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He’s a very loving, caring, soft-hearted man who cherishes and respects me, and so many other amazing traits that made me fall in love with him and turn a blind eye to the issue.

Now to the issue: when we met he had no job, and he was fine with it. In our culture you stay in your parents house until you’re married, so he was living with his parents money, he was 24 at the time so i found it weird that he’s still using his parents money, but i kept finding excuses to him in my mind.

Later in the relationship, i found him a job suitable for his lack of experience, and he’s in that job ever since. He started to think about the future and how he can improve himself and find another job that pays much, but he only talks and never does anything to make that happen. I’m in HR so i have connections, and i tried to find him a job at a better place but he said he’s afraid he wouldn’t like the new place and he’s afraid they wouldn’t like him and eventually fire him and he ends up with no job.

When i finally woke up and realized something is wrong here, i immediately linked his behavior to his relationship with his mother. His relationship with his mother is so weird to me, and I can’t understand it, they’re attached to each in a way a 3 year old is attached to his mother, and vise versa. When he’s at his job, she texts him constantly, and he does too. Sometimes he screenshots the texts between them and I cringe reading it! She tells him that she misses him so much and that the house is so dark and depressing without him there, and that she’s crying because she misses him and can’t wait for him to get back. He shows the chat to me with pride saying that his mother loves him so much and that he’s so grateful to having her, but all that does to me is making me feel weird!

She cuddles and kisses him on the forehead and cheeks, tells him how handsome of a man he is, and how much she loves him.

He never goes to the doctor without her, even if it’s something minor, and whenever we’re on a date, she constantly texts him if the foos is good, and if he arrived to the place safely (WHAT?), and when is he coming back home. The last straw was when i found out that he doesn’t go to the barber and that his mom cuts his hair for

How can i change that? How can i explain to him that their relationship is not healthy, and that it will take a toll on ours, and that the consequences of their attachment to each other is harming his life and his future? Should i just leave him because he’s a lost cause? Or is here any hope that i can change him?

Tl;dr: my boyfriend’s relationship with his mom is like a 3 year old and his mom. They’re attached to each other in an unhealthy way, which made him grow to be a big child, not able to be responsible. How can i change him into being a man and make him detach from her?

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F19 and hypersexual

1, F19, have been in a loving and committed relationship for about 9 months now with my bf M18. I need help, it's been discussed a lot of times now and it's been object for most of our fights but I'm a hypersexual woman (due to past trauma) and feel the need to be wanted intimately in order to feel loved. He is a sweet, empathetic and emotionally intelligent man but ever since we had a big fight he completely stopped being sexual with me and that caused me some issues like overthinking etc. Once I confronted him about it, nothing changed. We had fights over fights and he said he was working on it but still, after a lot of months, didn't initiate anything. How can I even fix this aspect of our relationship? The rest of it is absolutely beautiful and I love this man more than anything but by not acknowledging my needs, I feel unwanted and miserable

TL,DR: I yearn intimacy in order to feel wanted and it causes fights between me and my bf

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Guy (23M) I’m (24F) casually dating is on a lads holiday, should I expect him to message me?

I’ve been dating this guy for just over 3 months now. We haven’t had the talk about what we are, as I knew he’s going on this lads holiday to Ibiza so didn’t want to bring it up before he goes. It’s an expensive holiday and notorious for partying so I know what he will be getting up to, so I didn’t want to pressure him before it.

He stayed over on Sunday night and was making jokes about how I’ll be at home missing him whilst he’ll be dancing, and that I can’t see him for a while now (he’s there for 9 days), and he was kissing me loads before he left to say goodbye. He’s not contacted me since he left mine that morning, and usually he messages me later the same day. He flies out today and I’m wondering if he’ll even message me at all whilst he’s away.

As we’re not exclusive or anything, I know I can’t really expect anything from him. But I can’t help but feel like it would be disrespectful if he doesn’t message me once the whole time he’s away, and that I should just cut him off and move on in that case? I guess I’m just in two minds and not sure how i should handle the situation. If I don’t expect anything from him and he doesn’t contact me the whole time then we just go back to normal when he’s back, would that just be me being taken advantage of and not respected by him? I guess I see it as him not messaging shows I’m not on his mind at all and he’s not being considerate of my feelings (as he acknowledged that I’ll be missing him)

Obviously we haven’t had the talk and I know that. A couple weeks ago he was being slow on his messages (as in a few days at a time) and I told him if he’s going to put no effort into speaking to me then I won’t be interested anymore. He apologised and explained he stuff going on, but agreed he shouldn’t leave it so long. I said he just needs to communicate and let me know that. So I have voiced how I feel about effort in messaging.

I just want advice really on what I can rightly expect and react in this situation, whether he messages me or doesn’t at all.

TL;DR Dating guy for 3 months but not had the talk yet about exclusivity etc. He’s just flown out for a holiday to Ibiza with friends for 9 days. Last saw him on Sunday night when he stayed the night at my house, and he’s not contacted me since. Don’t know if I’m right to feel disrespected if he doesn’t message me at all, or if I shouldn’t expect anything and be okay with no contact and continuing as normal when he’s back.

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I (23M) cheated on my long distance partner (23NB). What do I do now?

They have bipolar and they broke up with me a while back due to a manic episode. And we didn't talk for a few weeks.
It's a common event and it happens almost monthly.

They always come back and things get better only for another episode and then they break up etc.

This time something happened idk.

In that time, in a moment of self destruction I went to those subs where you can meet and talk to people.

I never did anything sexual there even though I could have. I really just talked to people and wanted someone's company.

We started talking again. Have been for a few days now.

They initiated the contact after another round of anger, shouting, blaming me for their episodes and things I have 0 control over.

And we had the same fight again. They're medicated but it's not working, they're still having the same issues but only slightly less intense. They're ignoring all the guidelines and therapist advice about stress and exercise. I tell them to stop putting so much pressure on becoming famous and making money. Please just get better. I've been doing this song and dance for 3 years now.

And in those three years, they never did.

The only thing they're doing for their mental health is watching motivational videos and taking their meds. They make big grandoise promises about how they'll make it this time. How this business will make it up and how they just need X amount of money to join some new MLM.

And this time something snapped in me.

I went did sexual things with people on those subs and the websites where you can do online exhibitionism.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know if I love them.

But I don't wanna hurt them.

But I'm so tired of them shouting at me and blaming me and never taking responsibility for their episodes.

I was lonely and I wanted someone to just appreciate me.

I fucked up.

That's not the way to do it.

What do I do now?

I want to breakup, and I mostly will. But how do I communicate that I'm not leaving because they have bipolar but because of how they make it my problem?

Tldr- partner with bipolar is negligent and takes it out on me. Fucked by going to Omegle like websites for sexual stuff.

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I (19F) think my boyfriend (22M) is gay or bi

First of all, let me clarify I have no problem with any LGBT+ people. The issue here is that my (19F) boyfriend (22M) is extremely homophobic to the point that even if we are in public and he sees for example a gay advertisement or a gay couple he tells me that he is so disgusted by them, etc. He is a conservative in every way possible, however, I found transgender and male-only porn on his phone. Normally I wouldn't care about this but we never have sex, I'm the one that always initiates intimacy and he rarely wants to be with me, I feel like all the porn he consumes (6 different apps for it) is what leads him having a low libido and not even finding me attractive anymore. I don't know how to bring this problem up, every time we try to talk about this or if I imply that with his homophonic commentaries, he is in reality projecting he ALWAYS denies denies denies. He plays dumb and denies everything, I asked him if he uses Reddit to watch porn, and, sweared to god he didn't.

Should I bring this up? Should I confront him? If so how? What do you think?

tl;dr homophobic bf might be closeted gay/bi

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Don’t want to go to Europe

I’m 40m and girlfriend is 49f… dating for over a year. GF’s well-off friend is turning 50 and rented a villa in Europe for the occasion. It’s in a party town and we all like dance music. Four couples are sharing the cost of this villa.

I don’t want to go. Birthday girl and I haven’t ever hit it off because this whole friend group is selfish, vapid and money focused.

It’s also 11 days which is an insane amount of time to go anywhere (I’m not well traveled though)

The people sharing the villa are intolerable to me too. Problem is that if I don’t go, my girlfriend will likely be sharing our room with some rich dude (not guaranteed but i’m rarely wrong about things like this.)

Do I cough up like $10k to go on this trip? I feel like there’s a gun to my head and I’d be way anxious if she went without me.

TL;DR- I don’t want to go to a destination birthday with a bunch of lizards.

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Has anybody ever wondered if there partner might be too good for them?

Hi, I, a 60 ish year old male, once fell in love with a 57 year old lady. I possibley made the relationship difficult for both of us by being insecure about my own value and sense of self worth. I get compliments all the time and am regarded very highly by other people.

She was a fantastic person although anyone who knows her would say she is reserved. Make that very reserved. So although she was very affectionate, she would never verbalise it.

In any case, I used to wonder about this issue and I wondered how anyone else might have dealt with it?

tdlr Has anyone wondered about there parner being too good for them and how did you handle it?

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What should I (F18) do about this situation with my boyfriend (M19)?

So pretty much we have been dating for around 5 months. We made a lot of promises to each other and promised that we’d stick together no matter what and eventually get married. But recently from about 3 months ago, I have been feeling a little distant from him. The passion in our relationship has just died down. In the nicest way possible, it feels like we’re an old married couple now. I’m a person that wants to embrace my youth and make everyday worth it, since we’ll be older soon. We’re both in the same high school, so I dont really know what to do. Im starting to love him as a friend more than a boyfriend, because the romance in the relationship has just died down and I really cant find the romantic type of love in my heart for him. It sucks, and I do love and care for him since he’s a great person, but I’m just starting to see and love him more as a friend. I dont wanna break his heart. He’s really dependent on me and doesn’t have many friends. He said it himself, and I hate that feeling. I don’t want anyone to be dependent on me, it just ends up feeling like a burden. I’m not saying he’s a burden at all, but lately I’ve been feeling like my energy is drained from all this and I just cant find my inner happiness anymore, especially in this relationship. It also just feels like he’s putting less effort in to impress me, and I like it when a guy tries hard to impress you and win your heart. For example, I get up early every single morning to get dressed to look pretty so I can impress him. I mean it’s a good thing thats he’s comfortable with me now, but like i said before, it just feels like we’ve ended up in the ‘old married couple’ routine, if you know what i mean. We also have very different interests and a regular conversation between us is often very awkward and unnatural, other people have noticed this too. Overall were two extremely different people. I know they say opposites attract, but I think there should be atleast some things in common. I often do try to make conversation with him, but I dont know why but he usually doesnt respond much in real life. Over text its fine, but I think he’s just a little awkward in real life, and thats okay because im also a pretty awkward person. But, I just want to be with someone that I can be myself around and that has the same humour as me, is that too much to ask for? He’s a really great person but Im just starting to feel that were two very different people. Also, we had gotten in a fight once because he said that I didnt spend the day with him since I chose to spend it with my girl friends in school. Since this argument, Ive just been feeling as if it is my responsibility to make sure that he is happy all the time and never alone, and im sorry to say this but it stresses me out and negatively affects my mental health too.

I feel like a bad person saying this, but I really dont know what to do and after asking my friends for advice, they have said that the best option would be to break up with him, since i dont really see him in a romantic way anymore. I love him as a friend and i think he is a great person, but just not the person for me. Even if I do break up with him, ill make sure i stay his friend because he needs support in his life and his social circle is very small, and like I have said before, he is quite dependent on me. But the thing is, I dont want to break up with him even though we’ve kind of grown apart because of all the promises I made to him before. I promised that we would stick together and solve any issues we had without breaking up, and thats completely fine but what do you do when the person has a completely different vibe, energy and personality from you? I just find it hard to relate to him and I’m sorry but i really cant imagine a future with him. I think he deserves a great girl that is more like him and has the same humour as him, which is probably not me.

So, what should I do? Should I tell him the truth or should I just suck it up and not overcomplicate things?

TL;DR so basically should i speak to him about it and should we move to being just friends again or should i just not overcomplicate things and stay in the relationship how it is and eventually get married?

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Elon Musk Asked SpaceX Employee To Have His Babies, Had Sexual Relationships With Female Employees: Report - News18

Elon Musk Asked SpaceX Employee To Have His Babies, Had Sexual Relationships With Female Employees: Report  News18

* This article was originally published here

Should I Let My Boyfriend's Dad Pay for My Flight on Their Family Vacation?"

Hey guys

So, I'm 18 (F) and I've been with my boyfriend, who's also 18, for nearly 9 months now. I'm at his dad’s house a lot, stay over often, and I've gotten pretty familiar with his family.

His dad invited me to join them on a 10 day family holiday in July overseas, and I’m planning to go. However I'm kinda stuck on what to do about the money situation. My boyfriend’s dad is pretty wealthy and really generous, and has stated he can and will pay for my flight as well as anything else.

The thing is, I don’t feel totally comfortable not contributing anything. For reference, a round flight for this trip could be anywhere between $500-1000AUD. My parents agreed that I should pay, and even offered to split the cost with me.

Is it rude to turn down their offer to pay for me? Or should I just let it go and let them pay?

Any advice on what to do? Thanks!

TL;DR: Have been invited on family trip and boyfriends dad wants to pay, however I don’t feel entirely comfortable with letting that happen and want to pay for it myself. Not sure what to do.

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Woman who assaulted son files complaint against partner's multiple relationships - Onmanorama

Woman who assaulted son files complaint against partner's multiple relationships  Onmanorama

* This article was originally published here

How do I start from scratch?

Could be a long winded post. Sorry in advance.

I'm a 26yo man who over time has lost essentially all connections with past friends and family. Before I say I don't have anyone; I have one close interpersonal relationship with my GF who I cherish. We have lived together for the past 8 years. My concern is that I'm becoming emotionally overdependent on her because I simply have no-one else. I get on well with her family but the connection is not quite the same as having your own parents/ siblings etc. and I wouldn't say that I am particularly close with them. Although I love her and don't have a reason to think something would split us up, I am conscious of the fact that "life can happen" and things can be unpredictable. This was a sobering thought as I realised that if anything did happen, I would be utterly alone. I would have no-one to pick me up if I had to go to hospital, no one to help if I was sick, no one to call if I was having a bad day. The list goes on and it's scary. Moreover, one person cannot be absolutely everything and I don't want to place any burden on her she shouldn't have to shoulder. It is something I have become acutely aware of lately.

You might ask how did I get here? The primary reason is that I, along with my siblings were raised in a highly abusive household. As soon as we got old enough, we got the heck out of dodge. This is the short version of course and have only in the last few years gone n/c with my father as finally became too destructive (as much as I really didn't want to). I have some very infrequent contact with some siblings but for the most part we have scattered to the four winds. I think for some of us, seeing each other again reminds us of the past and would rather move on. As for extended family, they were never really interested or didn't want to get involved so buried their heads in the sand. Adversely, I had many friendships throughout high school and university. However, I lost them all due to constantly moving chasing work in distant cities with my GF. I had kind of a "run away" complex and maintaining friendships with people I grew up got harder to maintain from the other side of the state. Some close friendships I regret that I was also responsible for jeopardising.

Since then, I've been trying to network more with people and create friendships but wow it is difficult. I've tried local clubs, trivia nights at the local but people seem to already have a core set of friends or are simply on different wavelengths. I have tried meetups, friendship apps but they are a minefield of volatile personalities or have nothing in common. I have managed to make a casual friend but we are not close and I'd consider him closer to a drinking buddy than a good friend.

Has anyone been in this spot that could give me some advice? How do I become independent and gain grounding in creating a circle of supportive relationships that aren't just my GF?

tl;dr: My question is how do I create a network of supportive relationships from almost nothing?

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My (19F) boyfriend (20M) recently became close friends with a person I used to be close to (19F) but now dislike due to roommate disputes and miscommunications. It has been affecting me ever since.

I (19F) recently fought with a close friend (19F) a few months ago after being roommates with her for nearly a year in college, Quezon City. We weren’t good roommates to each other but she left me to deal with the problems with the unit when she moved out earlier than the lease. My boyfriend (20M) of nearly two years went on a trip with her and a couple of other people right before the falling out with the roommate.

They’ve become super close and formed a friend group ever since, literally hanging out three times a week (apparently from what he told me) and see each other all the time because they’re all from the same course. It has been eating away slowly ever since and ive only been able to point it out now on why I was uncomfortable with it, which is that he would hide it from me just so to spare my feelings, knowing what happened between the both of us. They dont talk abt me, which i appreciate, but it has been killing me inside because 1) I was still being messed up over by her even after she left (forgetting to pay bills and stuff), 2) it has been a cause of misunderstandings between us due to the lack of communication from her end when she needs to go to the unit or not, and 3) my boyfriend not sharing this part of himself, making me feel insecure in the process.

Ive already brought it up with him earlier, but I dont want to make him choose between me and his friends. I understand that its something he needs to have. But it has just eating away at me since April because theyve been a big part of his life ever since, while I’ve slowly realized that while they are good people, they’re not good friends for me. And there are still leftover feelings from the roomie fight that i still harbor resentment for because it genuinely felt like she got to walk away freely while i got the short end of the stick towards the end of the friendship, which i had to feel until now. I dont want to mess up what we have but I genuinely dont know how to cope.

How can I navigate this situation without hurting my boyfriend and his relationships, while also with my feelings considered?

TLDR: had a falling out with my ex roommate/close friend and now my boyfriend has a friend group. Dont know how to cope without affecting him and my feelings.

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BPD gf breaking up with me

Hey all my gf 27F of 3 years is breaking up with me 28M so suddenly. It’s been a little rough over the past few weeks. Due to arguments and us needing some space from each other. The worst thing we’ve ever been through together has been some long distance at the beginning, and a miscarriage. But a few days ago, she texted me saying she didn’t want to talk that day, so I left her be. The next morning she texted me saying that she was done with me, and she was tired of waiting for us to heal. Of course, I begged and pleaded. And told her I would do whatever I needed to do for her to be happy and stay with me.

I showed up at her place uninvited and it was kind of sorted out, she also didn’t want to be physical, which is very very out of character for her. The next day, she flipped again and told me the same thing, that she was done. And she had felt neglected, which being the strong lover that I am, I can’t imagine was true. But I validated her anyway. Especially being that her ex bf verbally and physically abused her, which I have never ever come to do or considered doing. Shes saying there’s nothing that I can do/say to keep her. I’m just blind sided by this, and she swears there’s nobody else. She’s been unrecognizable, and cold, and treating me like I’ve meant absolutely nothing… she won’t answer my questions, I don’t get it. She’ll tell me to leave her alone but she won’t tell me if she wants me to leave her alone for good. I also said that if there is someone else, then she can tell me, and I’ll back off immediately. But she won’t say that either. I’m not sure how to move forward. Will she be back?I’m usually better than this when it comes to moving on from people. But this one cuts deep. Thoughts?

TL;DR: gf with BPD suddenly doesn’t want to be with me. Being extremely harsh and cold. She’s cut all communications and barred me from everything, despite everything we’ve been through I can’t sleep. I’m not sure how to move forward.

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Boyfriend (21M) took my (20F) out of his bio after a fight

i understand how this may sound like a very juvenile thing for my age, but i am curious to hear opinions on this.

about 4 days ago my boyfriend and i had a very explosive fight. this was because of something i did, and i will say it was a big mistake on my behalf. not cheating or anything, but definitely a bad bad move. in this fight he told me that we were broken up, he was done with me and he’ll move on. a few days passed and he asked me to come over. we spoke more and he admitted he doesn’t want to break up but he was extremely hurt.

now, 4 days later, i can see he has removed my name from bio - which he did AFTER claiming he doesn’t want to break up with me.

there was an incident in the past where he messaged another girl, and i’m very concerned this has happened again. i don't see any other reason for removing people from your bio other then wanting to be appear available. especially if he was unsure on the breakup to begin with.

i don’t know if i should bring this up, because we are still on shaky territory, and i don't want to do anything that will push him away.

but, admittedly, this has brought up some extreme insecurities in me and i am almost desperate to know the answer/ask him to put my name back in there so he doesnt cheat again.

what should i do?

TL;DR; my boyfriend removed my name from his bio after an argument. days have passed and we have made up. hes been unfaithful before and im concerned its happened again. do i ask him about this?

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Rooted in Relationships: Farm Bureau Bank Continues to Expand, Hires New Relationship Banking Market Manager - EIN News

Rooted in Relationships: Farm Bureau Bank Continues to Expand, Hires New Relationship Banking Market Manager  EIN News

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My (34f) bf (35m) doesn't want me to attend his sister's family birthday

Hello! First of all, sorry if there's any mistake. English is not my first language.

So, today is the birthday of the sister of my bf. On saturday she's celebrating with friends and she invited me. I am going.

Today, my (34F) bf (35M) of 6 years told me she also wants to have dinner with their family, since today is the day. And we asked me if It's ok IG he attends alone with our daughter (5 month old).

I asked if this is something her sister told him or if this is something he thought by himself. He told me he thought about it because we are not having the best time together (mainly because of the baby) and I am rather sad this days (I tend to be alonse when I am sad).

I felt super bad with this. I tried to tell me how ugly and cruel it sounds to me and that I feel excluded (I think is worth mentioning that they are a very united family and even tough they treat me well and they are nice to me, I never felt part of their family). He insist there's been a lot of time since they are alone together and that I Should understand that and not feel excluded.

So, I guess I am asking a bunch of people online. Am I wrong?

Thanks!

TL;DR my bf wants to attend alone with our daughter tonight to have dinner with his family for his sister's birthday. I feel excluded. He says It's not a big deal.

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Make it make sense

make it make sense

I’m 21F, hes 20 M

so I very shortly dated this guy and I genuinely don’t understand what his deal is. To make it short, he love bombed me like crazy , lost feelings all of a sudden , then kept breaking no contact, blatantly told me wanted to keep me around, but when I told him how I felt he called me psychotic LOL. He called me a few days after this “psychotic” incident talking as if nothing happened, I was kind but didn’t give much in. So in my head I think, okay we’re on good terms ,whatever, move on. I have not contacted this man once after expressing how I felt but now he’s out here weeks after the phone call reposting shady stuff on tik tok. So what’s his deal? I’ve left him completely alone, no contact at all, removed him off everything a while ago, I used to reach out here and there but definitely not after the “psychotic” incident. I’m aware he’s a clear narcissist who literally does nothing but sits at home all day on tik tok. I just wanna understand what in the worlds going on in his head.

TL;DR- got love bombed, went no contact and he won’t stop with the shady reposts online.

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My Girlfriend (F22) needs to share a hotel room with her guy best friend (M23) and I don't know what to do about it.

My (M21) girlfriend (F22) is going to Greenday in London soon. Thing is she is going with her guy bestfriend (M23) and to save money they have booked a hotel room with 1 bed . They have been friends for 8 years and apparently have done things like this before without anything happening. Thing is there is an option to get a room with 2 beds that's £10 more expensive. But they're refusing to book that room as "they're both struggling for money". I don't know how to feel about this. I already looked past guy friends as a red flag but this is ridiculous right? I don't feel comfortable with my girlfriend sleeping in the same bed or same room as another guy who's not me. She also knows how I feel about this, so what do I do?

TLDR: My girlfriend and her best friend are going to sleep in the same room and I don't feel comfortable with that.

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my (22F) bf (27M) lied to me but I knew the truth and I feel overwhelmed of the way he tried to gaslight me.

I’m with my bf for 4 years, going into 5 this July. There’s one thing that makes me sick and I can’t forgive easily, and that’s lying. He knows that from the moment we met, I can’t stand lies and I always want the truth even if it’s bad news.

Throughout this years there have been 3 to 4 events where I knew the truth about something, I tried asking him about it and giving him the chance to explain himself to me, but he just straight up lied to me. It was really intense because the first two times I couldn’t give him evidence that I know how things happened so he just continued with a lie. He managed to confess a day after, or even some times months later in a random conversation where we both were “fine” so he felt comfortable saying he was lying back then and that I was right about the events.

He has just started at a new job, where he is the only guy there among other 2 guys and a lot of girls. I had a work opportunity outside our country so at the moment and for 4 months I’m going to be abroad so it’s been even more difficult for us. I catch myself getting insecure sometimes when a woman I don’t know is involved, but I try to soothe myself because I do know he loves me and that I’m being unreasonable with those thoughts. For the whole month that I’m away, we always speak on the phone and two hours pass by with him rambling about work and always defending one specific girl at work. Yesterday, while he was at work, I texted him and he didn’t reply but was active on instagram. I don’t check that in any way and I don’t care, but it happened to show his profile to a friend I met here so I saw he was online and thought “he’s here but doesn’t reply to me” and thought about making fun of it because I do like teasing him. When I was at his profile, the following went up when I refreshed it, and I found out that it was the girl he’s been so much mentioning from work. I’ve already sent him a teasing message, and he replied that he wasn’t on instagram. Then, the story changed to “her sister called him on insta”. That’s a straight up lie because he never speaks on insta with his sister. He sent me screenshot of the “call”, which was made at 17:28 from his part and ended the same time from his part again. But I’ve asked why he doesn’t reply to me at 17:10, where supposedly he was speaking on the phone with his sister. I knew he was on insta to accept the request from this girl from work, so I just wanted him to tell me the truth, it’s not even a big deal. But the way he lied to me and made up stories rather than just saying that made me feel sick. I might overreacting but I physically can’t stand lies, I wouldn’t lie to anyone let alone the person I love. He was keeping up with the lies until the end of the day, even though I have him a lot of chances for him to just say the truth. At midnight, on the phone, he finally said that he was on instagram because this girl sent him a request but that happened during the end of his shift, around 20:00. He was still lying to my face so I just said to him what happened and how I knew the story and knew he was lying the whole time about something so so minor. He finally confessed that all the stories he told me was a lie, and he justify it that he “wasn’t thinking and was an immediate move to lie to me because he kinda felt guilty about it”.

I know it’s a minor issue at the moment of the way it happened, but it has happened before with much bigger problems, I’ve always told him that I can’t respect someone who lies to my face and is fine about it, but I just can’t help myself to think of how he was okay lying, and how many other “lies” I might have believed only because I didn’t know the truth or didn’t have the ways to prove my gut feeling. He says he won’t ever lie to me again and that he don’t want to lose me. I love him and I also don’t want to lose him but I do feel overwhelmed and can’t stop thinking about how he lied straight up and even got offensive when I tried to tell him the truth.

TL/DR: my (22F) bf (27M) lied to me but I knew the truth and I feel overwhelmed of the way he tried to gaslight me.

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